Sex Before Marriage Is Not A Sin
No sex before marriage-When asked what the Bible has to say about sex, most people will have this response. However, when asked to provide exactly where this rule is listed in the Bible, the answer from many Christians is much less confident. My belief that premarital sex is sinful has been shattered.
So what is the truth about having sex outside of marriage?
The truth is that we are having the wrong conversation over and over again. In an attempt to justify what is believed to be common knowledge, we are pulling at any verse that has an inkling of resemblance to premarital sex. We are using these verses, devoid of their context and circumstance, in order to justify a belief that does not have much merit.
Many source the Ten Commandments as a call to wait until we are married to have sex. In particular, the seventh of these commandments.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
The problem here is that adultery and premarital sex are being equated, when in reality, they are two distinctly different things.
Adultery really is about violation of relationship or violation of contract. Its about not keeping your promise, Dr. Colleen Windham-Hughes, a professor of religion at California Lutheran University, said.
This verse can be interpreted to mean that God is in control of our bodies. While it is undeniable that glorifying God through celibacy or through your body is a way to honor God, this verse is also getting at the submissive role of women at this time in the world.
Dr Ben Witherington Iii Responds:
As ought to be clear from 1 Cor. 7, virginity in a woman was highly valued before marriage. In that text she is called both the betrothed and a virgin. In early Jewish law if you had sex with a woman you were considered married to her or you had shamed her. See the story of Mary and Joseph. Porneia can refer to all sorts of sexual sin including deflowering a virgin. What that whole discussion by your student ignores is: firstly, there was no dating or physical intimacy prior to an arranged marriage in the vast majority of cases. The notion of dating doesnt exist in Jesus and Pauls world. Second, honor and shame cultures placed a high value on sexual purity. Notice how prostitutes were stigmatized. Women were mainly blamed for sexual immorality. Finally Jesus gave his disciples two choices in Mt. 19fidelity in heterosexual marriage or being a eunuch! This means no sex outside marriage.
Love In Every Season: Understanding The Four Stages Of A Healthy Relationship
Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether youre single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.
Don’t Miss: Inerrant Vs Infallible
Take Responsibility For Your Sexual Purity
Repent of sexual failures. You will only flee sexual immorality when you get serious with God.
Develop friendships with people who value purity. Especially in the area of sexuality, evil company corrupts good habits . By contrast, those committed to sexual integrity can help you swim against the cultural stream.
Practice saying no. To an outrageously sexualized people, Paul said, I discipline my body and bring it into subjection . When by the Spirit we say no to our desires, they resist with vehemence. Rarely engaged will-power reacts like muscles at an annual visit to the weight room, but in time, no begins to win the war against lust .
Use Wisdom. Where do you tend to sin sexually? Approach those areas with sound wisdom, realistic planning, genuine accountability, and pointed prayer.
Pursue marriage. Marriage isnt a magic pill for loneliness and lust, but it is part of Gods prescribed regimen for practicing the beautifully human desire for deep sharing.
Navigating A Toxic Culture With Your Daughter
As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social mediaand many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism
Don’t Miss: How Many Fear Not In The Bible
What About Premarital Sex Today
We are no longer living in the ancient Biblical cultures that existed two to four thousand years ago. At least in the West, premarital sex no longer carries the stigma for women that it did in those days. And the standards for men are, if anything, even more relaxed.
Is that good or bad?
Thats for you to decide.
However, if, as Kimberly says, two unmarried people who genuinely care for each other choose to engage in safe sex with each other, is that really so bad?
Of course, in some families and in some segments of society, there are still major stigmas attached to sex before marriage. Those who engage in premarital sex will have to deal with the attitudes of their families, their friends, and their community.
Beyond social strictures, though, is sex before marriage really so bad?
These days, many people are sexually active from their teenage years onward, and still go on to get married and have good marriages. Yes, I know, many also get divorced or have unhappy marriages. But that also happens to people who dont have sex before marriage. The point is, engaging in sex before marriage doesnt necessarily destroy the hope of entering into a long-term, faithful, and happy marriage.
It all depends on your attitude toward commitment and marriage.
Bible Verses About No Sex Before Marriage
Bible verses related to No Sex Before Marriage from the King James Version by Relevance
Topics and verses are auto-generated from user searches. If a verse or topic does not belong, please contact us. Some scripture references/categories courtesy of Open Bible .info under CC BY 3.0
You May Like: Do Not Fear Bible Verses 365
Bible Verses About Sex & Why God Created Sex
To understand what the Bible says about sex before marriage and whether having premarital sex is a sin, we need to first understand why God created sex and what the Bible says about sex.
In the verses below, you can see that God has a lot to say about sex.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Genesis 2:22-24
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:2-3
We see in these bible verses about sex that God created sex to be a bond between a husband and wife in marriage.
The verse below from Hebrews 13 also emphasis that sex was intended in the context of marriage, and I love how the MSG version tells us that God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.
“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4 ESV
“Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.” Hebrews 13:4 MSG
The Link Between Sexual Immorality And Sex Before Marriage
If you search the Bible for the phrases premarital sex or sex before marriage, you wont find any verses.
However, that does not mean Scripture doesnt say anything about it.
In fact, Scripture is clear on the topic if you understand the link between sexual immortality and sex before marriage.
Often, people lump things like adultery, pornography, and homosexuality under the umbrella of sexual immorality. But, sex before marriage also falls under this umbrella.
1 Corinthians 7:2 says, But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
Got Questions explains, Since 1 Corinthians 7:2 clearly includes sex before marriage in the definition of sexual immorality, all of the Bible verses that condemn sexual immorality as being sinful also condemn sex before marriage as sinful.
Also Check: How Much Is An Omer In The Bible
The Bible Says That Marriage Comes From God
First, the Bible says that God created two people to be united into one, and that this relationship is to be honored.
In the first creation story, God creates man and woman together:
God created humankind in his image,in the image of God he created them male and female he created them.
In the second creation story, God forms woman from a rib taken from the human being that God had created , and brings her to him so that the two may become one:
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept then he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said,
This at last is bone of my bonesand flesh of my flesh this one shall be called Woman,for out of Man this one was taken.
Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.
In the New Testament, Jesus refers to the second creation story in establishing marriage as a relationship created by God:
Jesus answered, Have you not read that the one who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
And just one more for now. In the letter to the Hebrews in the New Testament, it says:
Its Still Your Choice
So is sex before marriage forbidden in the Bible?
No, it isnt.
Is sex before marriage recommended in the Bible?
Not at all.
The Bible simply presents some of the issues and consequences involved in sex without the intent to marry vs. sex within marriage or with the intent to marry.
Its still your choice.
Thats as it should be. These are very personal issues, and very personal choices. No one else can make them for you.
However, before you decide to go all-in physically, do consider what you want from the relationship.
If you simply want to enjoy sexual intimacy with someone you feel close to, that is quite doable. But that may be all youll get out of the relationship. If youre good with that, then you can at least go in with your eyes open.
However, if what you really want is a long-term, committed, faithful marriage, consider the possibility that starting out with sexual intimacy early in the relationship may make the kind of marriage you long for less likely rather than more likely.
If you spend the time to find and create an inner connection with your partner before fully engaging your physical drives and hormones, youre more likely to start the relationship on a solid and lasting foundation of inner oneness. That inner oneness is at the heart of every true and lasting marriage.
This article is a response to a spiritual conundrum submitted by a reader.
You May Like: How To Read The New Testament In Chronological Order
Does The Bible Say Pre
While you won’t find that specific phrase used in the Bible, the Bible repeatedly talks about “sexual immorality” or “sexual sins.” These references to sex are talking about any sexual activity outside of marriage, so if you’re having sex without being married … God wants you to stop. Some of the places you can find these verses are Hebrews 13:41 Thessalonians 4:3-41 Thessalonians 4:71 Corinthians 6:18-20Colossians 3:5A friend from the Netherlands shared some other great verses on this topic: In Song of Solomon 2:7Song of Solomon 3:5 and Song of Solomon 8:4 there is a strong warning against premarital sex when it says, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” In other words, save sex for marriage!God is not down on sex. He designed it to be so intense, so exciting, so memorable, so fun that He wants us to share it with one person: our future wife. So if you haven’t had sex yet … keep waiting – you’ll be glad you did! If you’ve already had sex, talk to God about it. He wants to forgive you and give you a fresh start. You can start over today – right now! Talk to God – He’s waiting and willing to forgive you. Why? Because He loves you!Keep asking questions and looking to God for help – He has all the answers!
Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins.”
Are You Ready To Surrender Your Sex Life To God
I know how hard it is to stop having sex, which is why I created this free, 7-day resist temptation devotional, which includes bible verses and prayers to pray when you are tempted.
I also created an online course, Pursuing Purity, that walks through the steps I took to overcome my sexual past and walk in purity.
If youre ready to receive the blessings and future husband that God has for you, Pursuing Purity will give you the tools to throw off your sexual past and walk in purity.
If youre ready to surrender this area to God, pray and confess your sins and sexual past to God. Choose to repent, turn and run in the opposite direction from the people, places, or activities that had caused you to sin in the past.
And break off ungodly soul ties from your past so you can be free from those past relationships that are holding you back.
You May Like: List Of 365 Do Not Fear Bible Verses
What Skeptics & Atheists Say
The question of whether or not its appropriate to have sex before marriage begins with an individuals understanding of both marriage and sex. While many people still walk down the aisle and say I do, have continued to drop since the 1980s. Since that time, the rate of individuals living alone or with a partner whos not their spouse has increased. If a person doesnt believe that marriage is the ultimate goal for a romantic relationship, then talking about waiting to have sex until marriage doesnt make sense. A person who doesnt consider marriage a clear relational end-goal might view their romance in stages of commitment and connection. Sex is merely a step in the process of getting to know a person. This process might lead to moving in together and maybe eventually to marriage. As the cost of marriage ceremonies/receptions continues to rise making marriage somewhat cost-prohibitive, while the ability to have everything marriage offers – without marriage – it becomes clear why fewer people are getting married today than ever before.
What Stance Does The Bible Take On Premarital Sex And Why
A straightforward scripture on the subject of sex outside of marriage is in Hebrews 13:4Hebrews 13:4Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.American King James Version×, which states, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
The implication is that while the marriage bed is undefiled, the act of sex between two unmarried persons is a defilement. The scripture also warns that those who commit fornication and adultery will be judged by God. In simplest terms, the only person God permits us to have sex with is our spousethe person we have committed ourselves to before God for life.
Like all of God’s commands, there is nothing arbitrary or archaic about the command to save sex for marriage. Countless studies and experiences, some of which are examined in the material below, enforce the idea that God designed sex for a husband and wife only. Outside of the marriage relationship, sex categorically weakens relationshipsbut inside marriage, sex is designed by God to strengthen and renew the bond between a husband and wife.
Recommended Reading: Rhema Bible Correspondence School
How Can I Overcome Sexual Temptation
Overcoming sexual temptation whether married or unmarried involves being intentional about protecting yourself from situations where temptation might be overwhelming like heavy petting when dating. But even married people might find themselves drawn to someone other than their spouse.
Remember just because feelings of lust pop up, you dont have to give in to them. Sin is not your master. You can resist the devil, and he will flee from you. You have power over your desires exercise that power! How? Keep yourself out of situations that might lead you to sexual immorality. If youre dating, curb physical affection and avoid being alone together too much.
If youre married, guard against getting too close emotionally to someone. Many adulterous affairs begin with a close emotional connection, so be careful that no one supplants your emotional relationship with your spouse.
Where are your eyes drifting? Set a guard over your eyes. Exercise great caution with your computer, phone, and TV.
I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.
Especially, guard against porn. This takes your sexual desire out of your marriage and leads to destruction. Pornography depicts expectations and behaviors that directly conflict with the dynamics of secure attachment and authentic intimacy in a loving marriage. It flies in the face of enduring married love.
Anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.