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What The Bible Says About Intimacy Before Marriage

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Sex before Marriage | Christian Perspective

God doesnt expect your marriage to be perfect and easy to navigate. He knows that you will hit road bumps that might cause you to act out of character, fight, and forget to love each other. When you feel that you arent appreciating your spouse in the way that God intended, this Bible verse will help you to pause and rethink.

God’s Law Is For Our Benefit

Pretty heavy stuff! But remember, God is not down on fun, and He’s not down on sex. Instead, He’s down on pain. And He knows that if we pursue anything outside of His guidelines, we will suffer consequences. Here’s the good part. Because of God’s love for us, He has established sexual guidelines that will increase our sexual pleasure. Yup, when a husband and wife do things God’s way, they can enjoy some great sex!And so until you’re married, God wants you to pursue and love Him, and to honor and love your current girlfriend and your future spouse by waiting to have sex until you’re married.Sure, you’ve already had sex, but you can begin waiting today. And sure, maybe sexual sin is something you’ve struggled with for a long time and don’t think you can just stop. So how about taking the first step and asking for God’s help? Are you willing to do that?And then how about taking the next step and asking a friend to pray with you and encourage you. You might even need to break up with your girlfriend. I don’t know. And because I don’t know the specifics of your situation, that’s why you need to be encouraged and supported by friends.I do know, however, that God is crazy about you and will walk with you through this. He’s just waiting for you. Will you take God’s hand and walk with Him? Please e-mail me back and let me know.

Christian Quotes About Sex

The free exchange of consent properly witnessed by the Church establishes the marriage bond. Sexual union consummates it seals it, completes it, perfects it. Sexual union, then, is where the words of the wedding vows become flesh. Christopher West

The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union. C. S. Lewis

God does not blush when he speaks about intimacy or orgasms. He designed our bodies with parts that actually become one, in the most intimate and enjoyable way imaginable, to produce new life. . . . Sex should cause us to marvel at Jesus because all its pleasures point to the glorious one who made them.

God never approves sexual union outside of marriage. Max Lucado

God made every one of us a sexual being, and that is good. Attraction and arousal are the natural, spontaneous, God-given responses to physical beauty, while lust is a deliberate act of the will.

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Keep It In The Marriage

The author of Hebrews writes, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous . We are free to enjoy our spouse because God wired us this way and created sex for us to enjoy. We have no need to be embarrassed before our spouse and before God in sexual intimacy with our wedded spouse.

Couples Should Enjoy Activities Together To Cultivate Their Friendship

Pin on Biblical Marriage Tips and Help

With all that said, balance is needed in marriage. Couples need times of just sharing and listening to one another, but they also need to enjoy activities together such as: reading, working out, going to movies, traveling, etc. Sadly, many couples get married believing they have many activities they love doing together, but after the first year, they find that they really enjoy different things. While courting, the woman would watch sports with her boyfriend because she was just happy to be with him. However, soon after getting married, she would quickly decline watching the Sunday football game to do her own thing. While courting, the man would go to the mall with his girlfriend because he was just happy to be around her. However, in marriage, he promptly declines the Saturday excursion to instead stay home. It is not uncommon for early passion to blur the reality of the person one is going to marry, and couples should be aware of this.

Whether this happens or not, it is important for couples to find activities they enjoy together, to help maintain and increase intimacy. Christ went everywhere with his infant church, the disciples, and shared everything with them . To protect our marriages and help them grow, it is wise to think about and plan for activities that can be enjoyed together as well as setting weekly or monthly dates to share these things. The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty .

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Additional Scriptures About Sex And Marriage

“Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” ~ 1 Corinthians 7:1-4

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” ~ 1 Corinthians 7:8-9

“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8

So Is Sex Before Marriage Really Wrong

The early chapters of the Bible were based on rules and commandments of the Jewish traditions. Sex before marriage was clearly condemned in Judaism, and the same goes for Christianity. This was the culture Jesus was raised in. These commandments and rules gave the blueprint for marriage. The words sex outside of marriage are never mentioned, however, it is implied that it is against Gods design.

In fact, Adam wasnt joined to Eve until God gave her away in the first marriage union of time. The same tradition goes for Noah, Shem, Abram, and Jacob. Everyone waits until they are united in marriage to have sexual relations. Thats because the other aspect of sex is to procreate.

Thats right, God meant for us to fully enjoy sex, . Perhaps the best book of the Bible about the joys of sex is the Song of Songs as it reminds us sex is strictly for marriage. However, there is one example of the condemnation of sex before marriage of a soon-to-be wife who had sex outside of marriage in Deuteronomy 22:13-19.

It was such a precious manner that the husband had the right to divorce her if she was found not to be a virgin. Also, because of how this law couldve been misconstrued, laws were put in place to protect the woman as well. She had the right to prove her virginity had been taken in the marriage bed.

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What Does The Scriptures Say About Abstinence From Sex Before Marriage

There is much information in the Bible about sex, and believe it or not, God thinks its a great idea! And why shouldnt He? He invented it. However, it is just unwise to have sex with someone who is not your wife as it is unwise to wake up a sleeping lion or ice skate on a lake in the middle of summer. Having heard this, one is likely to ask why? Interestingly, there are tons of Biblical and practical, common-sense reasons that have significant consequences. Some common consequences include dealing with the possibility of pregnancy, contracting or sharing a sexually transmitted disease, and the most underrated but possibly most impacting are the intense emotional issues that sexually active teens struggle with and take into their marriage.

Does the Bible condemn or say that premarital sex is wrong?

Amazingly, God is not down on sex. He designed it to be so intense, so exciting, so memorable, and so fun that He wants us to share it with one person: our spouse. Thus, if you havent had sex yet, it is wise and advisable to keep waiting youll be glad you did! If youve already had sex, talk to God about it. He wants to forgive you and give you a fresh start. Behold, you can start over today right now! All you need to do is to sincerely turn to God and talk to Him for He is willing and ready to forgive you. He loves you and wants you to live righteously in Christ. Hebrews 13:4 says, .

Supporting Scriptures and Benefits of keeping Gods Law

The Spiritual Battle For Your Marriage

What the Bible says about sex before marriage l Godly Relationship is a MUST!

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy Gods beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemys lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that theyre not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

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Be Part Of A Church That Will Help You Fight Fornication

Especially in a sexually permissive culture, you need a church that engages sex biblically. While sex is good , sexual sin makes us lawbreakers in need of redemption the church cannot waffle on this. But faithful churches will also provide hope for all sinners. Pauls Corinthian audience was exhausted by sexual sin and weighted down by guilt. He preached Christ as the only one who could cure restless desires . We should not expect to see fornicators, adulterers, and homosexuals converted to Christ if we do not meet them with the grace of the gospel.

More concretely, believers must open their homes to single people, providing a haven of companionship and a respite from long hours alone in which temptation can gain strength. We should prepare to respond with prayerful and sympathetic love to those courageous enough to confess sexual sin. In this way we help bear their burden . Caring friends will also offer to singles the platonic physical affection practiced by Jesus and his disciples . One single friend put it this way: If appropriate intimacy doesnt come from somewhere else like God or friends, it is pretty much a given that singles will be either emotionally suffering or falling into sin. We can learn from many non-western cultures the sacramental art of appropriate physical contact.

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Disadvantages Of Sex Before Marriage

Over time, the perception of premarital sex has changed a lot from the traditional view of saving ones self for marriage. A lot of people now engage in a long-term romantic relationship and regard getting married as a choice other than an accomplishment in life.

With this, the desire to get sexually intimate with ones partner or spouse has become more acceptable.

However, there are certain dangers involved that you need to know about. This is because being aware of the disadvantages of sex before marriage can help you make a more informed choice and avoid certain pitfalls in your relationship.

Loss of interest in your significant other

One of the dangers of premarital relationships is taking the risk of your partner eventually losing interest in you.

Sex before marriage or premarital sex as some may choose to call it refers to having physical intimacy with a partner that youre not married to. This intimacy offers you both an opportunity to explore your sexual desires in almost every possible way.

If youve had previous sexual encounters, there is a good chance that what you experience with your present partner may be very different from your expectations and increase the chances of you losing interest in your partner and vice-versa.

You go into your marriage with a lot of emotional baggage

Disruptions in your mental health

An unwanted pregnancy

Even if you consider abortion, it can result in physical and psychological impressions that may last you a lifetime.

Couples Should Practice Setting Aside A Period Of Time Every Day For Sharing And Listening To Cultivate Their Friendship

What Does The Bible Say About Intimacy?

Activities are good, but intimate sharing should be maximized when couples are together. For most, evenings will be the best time for this, after work and other endeavors are completed.

Personally, my wife and I always try to leave the last hour or more of the evening for sharing and prayer. We may have family time before that where we eat dinner, talk, watch a TV show together with our daughter, etc., but with the last part of the evening, we want to focus on one another.

As a couple has more children, it becomes even harder to allot time for intimate sharing, but it is still just as important. I heard one pastors wife, who had five children, share that in their home, the children had to be in their rooms by eight pm. She would commonly tell their kids after eight pm, I am no longer Mom but my husbands wife. Thats how they managed a busy home and yet kept intimacy. It also demonstrated to the kids the priority of the marriage relationship.

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God Created Intimacy In Marriage

God designed the bonds of matrimony to be the closest relationship on earth. No friendship or parent-child relationship should surpass the level of intimacy in marriage. If God designed marriage to be the closest relationship on earth, then why do many couples report feeling distant and alone in marriage?

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Therefore A Man Shall Leave His Father And His Mother And Shall Become United And Cleave To His Wife And They Shall Become One Flesh And The Man And His Wife Were Both Naked And Were Not Embarrassed Or Ashamed In Each Others Presencegenesis : 24


There’s a reason why I chose to go with the word “erotic” over something that might seem more subdued like, perhaps, sensual in the title of this piece. Sensual speaks of being carnal, fleshly and having a “lack moral restraints”.

Quite frankly, I think that is a big problem with Bible followers and how they process the topic of sex they see it through the eyes of being sensual rather than being erotic”arousing or satisfying sexual desire” and “sexual love”. Personally, that’s why I also think a lot of people who grew up in the Church struggle with the very clear instruction that is found in Genesis 2 they feel naked and ashamed because the Church has a tendency to focus more on sexual sin than the beauty of the gift of sex for married people.

If you add that to the fact that a lot of folks struggle with their body imageit’s no wonder that many husbands and wives are biblically disobedient. Disobedient how? Well, the Word clearly states that a husband and his wife, whenever they are naked in each other’s presence, they are not to be embarrassed or ashamed .

Man, imagine how much the sex lives of couples all over the world would change for the better, if spouses got this point down alone? If they realized that God never intended for a husband and wife to be naked and ashamed when it comes to how they feel in each other’s presence or when it comes to the act of sex itself. Talk about gettin’and stayin’free.

The Husband Should Give To His Wife Her Conjugal Rights And Likewise The Wife To Her Husbanddo Not Refuse And Deprive And Defraud Each Other Except Perhaps By Mutual Consent For A Time So That You May Devote Yourselves Unhindered To Prayer But Afterwards Resume Marital Relations Lest Satan Tempt You Through Your Lack Of Restraint Of Sexual Desirei Corinthians : 3& 5



There are a lot of great things about this particular Scripture. The very first sentence is a reminder that God expects married people to have sex that it is a marital responsibility, of both a husband and a wife. From there, peep how the Bible states that not having sex is an act of deprivation and even defrauding your partner. To deprive is “to remove or withhold something from the enjoyment” and to defraud is “to cheat”. According to the Word itself, consciously going without sex is a form of withholding enjoyment and cheating your partner out of something that they are supposed to get out of their marital relationship. Not only that but, when someone decides to do that, the Bible says that it gives Satan , the ability to tempt you and/or your partner. Tempt means “to entice or allure to do something often regarded as unwise, wrong, or immoral”.

Sex is an act that spiritually makes two people one and, remember that in Genesis 2, the Bible says that a husband and wife are to embark upon the lifelong journey of “becoming one”. So yes, every time that a married couple has sex, “oneness” transpires. Oneness means “a strong feeling of closeness or affinity union” and “unity of thought, feeling, belief, aim, etc. agreement concord” and “sameness”. No wonder, even God’s Word not only recommends but instructs that married couples get it in as often as possible!

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