When Does The Bible Allow Divorce
Another friend, Monica, calls you often with complaints about her husband. It seems he can never do anything right, and youre concerned that Monica has started to obsess about what a man of God your churchs new, single pastor is. You suspect Monica might be getting a bit infatuated. Youre concerned about her. Could she be considering divorce?
Meanwhile, a third friend, Mary Ann, is consumed with guilt about the past. After studying the Bible, she has come to the conclusion that she divorced for selfish reasons, not biblical ones. Because her ex-husband is remarried, Mary Ann cant remedy this wrong. She is having a terrible time hearing anything you tell her about Gods forgiveness.
When we face challenging marital circumstances , we may struggle with deep, hard questions: What are the biblical grounds for divorce? Are my marriage struggles just the product of two sinners marrying? Or are these struggles legitimate grounds for divorce? How can Gods Word help me discern what is right?
To Provide For Sexual Intimacy Connection And Release Within Marriage
But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 1 Corinthians 7:2
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Hebrews 13:4
Since God designed us as sexual beings, He expects us to have sexlots of sex! It actually honors our marriages when we do! We just need to keep sex in the purity and confines of marriage. Without this provision, we would look to anyone to satisfy our cravings.
Straying might seem like a sweet deal, but for the believer, it clearly is not! Actually, I dont think it is for the unbeliever either. They just rarely realize it.
You see, God knows that we need the safety of a secure and sacred union in order to be free to love our spouses with abandon and joy. This bonds our hearts so much more tightly than if we jumped from partner to partner and bed to bed.
So
- How enthusiastic are you about your sexual relationship with your husband or wife?
- In what ways are you making efforts to keep your heart and mind pure and focused only on your spouse?
Who Were The First Husband And Wife
The Bible provides the first account of a husband and wife in the story of Adam and Eve. In Genesis 2:18-25, we learn that God created women from men and that they were meant to be together. The story goes on to describe how the two were naked but unashamed, and how they eventually sinned and were forced to leave the Garden of Eden.
While there are many interpretations of this story, it is clear that Adam and Eve were the first husband and wife. They set the precedent for marriage as a lifelong commitment between one man and one woman, and their example has been followed by billions of couples throughout history.
The first husband and wife were Adam and Eve, who were created by God. The Bible tells us that God created them both from the dust of the ground and that He blessed them and told them to be fruitful and multiply.
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They were the first people to live on Earth, and they were the first to experience marriage. Their marriage was a sacrament, an institution ordained by God Himself. And their love for each other was pure and perfect love, untainted by sin. Sadly, their marriage was not to last.
They disobeyed God and ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and as a result, they were cast out of the Garden of Eden. But even in their fallen state, they continued to love each other and remain true to each other. And their love for each other is a model for all husbands and wives to follow.
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Disclaimer About What Does The Bible Say About Marriage
We are going to look at seven truths about what the Bible says about marriage. But before we dive into that we need to be on the same page. In this article we will be looking at marriage through a Biblical lens. If you are not a Christian then there will obviously be disagreement. Thats okay.
If you are not following Jesus, what the Bible says about marriage shouldnt be the primary question that should concern you. Instead you should wrestle through who Jesus is, what Jesus did, and what impact that holds for you. That comes first.
I say that because many Christians try to force a Christian ethic upon non-Christians. I dont want to do this in this article. I dont think thats right or what Jesus did. Figure out who Jesus is first. The rest will follow. More about that here:Following Jesus
Reasons: According To The Bible Marriage Is One Man One Woman
Today there is so much widespread confusion on the best way for us to have relationships, that it helps to go back to the beginning and see what God Intended. By following his pattern we can help our lives to be happy content and God Blessed. We will examine the Biblical Guidance God has given for us to learn from.
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We Can Enrich One Anothers Lives
It is such good news that God has not changed His mind about marriage, in spite of the sin that came into the world through the first couple! His heart yearns for it to succeed for us, and His love has provided us with laws which, if we keep them, will set us free from our human nature so that we can learn to love one another as He loves us. Human nature is a contrary commodity! It takes so little for a slight misunderstanding, a habit that we dont like, a thoughtless word, or a critical look to bring a cloud over our relationships. Human nature is so easily offended!
But, thankfully, we have Gods Word and laws to help us. If we follow, for example, the words of Colossians 3:12-14, we have good hope for a happy and fulfilling relationship the way God intended it to be.
Therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering bearing with one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection. This does not mean that we will always agree or hold the same viewpoint on every matter. God has created us as individuals with different personalities and ways of thinking. But we can encourage one another according to Gods laws of humility, kindness, and mercy. In this way we can enrich one anothers lives and be the true helpmeets for one another that God intended us to be.
Guest Pastor: Marriage: A Contract Or A Covenant
D. L. Kauffmn wrote, in part: A good marriage is not a contract between a man and a woman, but rather, a sacred covenant between three the man, the woman and God.
If we think of the covenant of marriage as being in the shape of a triangle, we would have the man and woman at each corner of the base line and God at the apex. All three connected by a line representing the sacred connection.
We find these exact three, original, elements of the marriage covenant in the Garden of Eden, where the very first wedding took place. The uncomplicated ceremony that is described there, in the first book of the Bible, is a masterpiece of simplicity, without being overly simple. The Scriptures record, in Genesis 2:22, says: And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. In this sacred scene we have three distinct individuals the Lord God, the woman, and the man. The three participants in the divine covenant are presented to us with solemn dignity.
What we are witnessing, when we read such verses as the one in the previous paragraph, is the presence of the divine element of the marriage covenant. According to Scripture, marriage was not intended to be a simple contract that can be torn up or broken at will. This covenant was intended to be a lifetime state. This is why Jesus could say, in Matthew 19:6: Wherefore they are no more twain , but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder .
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What Are The Types Of Marriage Found In The New Testament
The New Testament contains multiple references to marriage, but the focus is primarily on two types of marriages: monogamous marriages and polygamy. In the Old Testament, polygamy was fairly common, but Jesus clearly disapproved of the practice, saying that a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh .
This passage makes it clear that Jesus saw marriage as a committed relationship between two people. However, the New Testament also recognizes that not all marriages are between two people. For example, in 1 Corinthians 7:2-16, Paul discusses the situation of married couples who have been converted to Christianity but whose spouse has not.
In these cases, he says that it is best for the couple to remain married, even though they are not technically monogamous. While the New Testament does not condone polygamy, it does acknowledge that marriages can take different forms.
Top 10 Bible Verses About Marriage
The Bible has a lot to say about marriage, so lets make a Top Ten List of the most important Bible texts about marriageand then look at each one more closely.
1) Mark 10:6-9 = God instituted marriage and gives it His blessing.
2) Genesis 2:18 = God created humans with an innate need and desire for the close bond that marriage provides.
3) Genesis 2:23, 24 = Husband and wife become one in the marriage bond.
4) Ecclesiastes 9:9 = Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
5) Ephesians 5:28, 33 = Husbands and wives are to love and respect each other.
6) II Corinthians 6:14 = Husbands and wives should be bonded together with a similarity of beliefs, goals, and objectives.
7) Exodus 20:17 = Husbands and wives are to be sexually faithful to each other in the marriage relationship.
8) Matthew 5:32 = Adultery is the only biblically acceptable reason for divorce.
9) Isaiah 62:5 = An ideal marriage relationship mirrors Gods loving relationship with His people.
10) Proverbs 31:10 = A strong marriage relationship is a precious thing.
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Biblical Traits Of A Good Husband Or Wife
Proverbs 31 has been called a description of The Ideal Wife. And its true that the chapter, as written, focuses on the wife. But in reality the ideal qualities given in this chapter apply equally to a husband as well as to a wife.
So how does the Bible define a good wife ? Here is a list of characteristics based on Proverbs 31. Look up the verses and see for yourself how they are described. Can you find other qualities in this chapter that are not listed here?
- Dependable
- A positive outlook that brings out the best in ones spouse
- Hardworking
- Provides for the household
- Compassionate and aware of others peoples needs
- Is a credit to ones spouse in the community
- Loved and respected by the children and by ones spouse
- Has a good reputation outside the home
Ii: Does The Teaching Of Jesus Regardingdivorce And Remarriage Apply To People Outside The Church
Some people believe that Jesus teaching regarding divorce andremarriage was addressed only to those who are in covenantrelationship with Him . It does not apply to people outside the church sincethey are not citizens in Christs kingdom, not members of thebody of which He is the head, etc.
It is argued that people outside Christ are condemned becausethey have not subjected themselves to Christ or because they haveviolated Gods universal moral law but until they becomeChristians, God does not notice or hold them accountable forviolations of specific New Testament teachings such as divorcelaws.
So it is concluded that, no matter how many times such peopledivorce and remarry before they become Christians, when they arebaptized they just keep the companion they have then. Butconsider the following points:
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In The Bible What Are Celibate Marriages
In the Bible, there are a number of marriages where one or both partners remain celibate. In some cases, this is because one partner is already married . In other cases, it may be because the couple is unable to have children.
In still others, it may be because one or both partners have taken a vow of celibacy. In all of these cases, the Bible makes it clear that celibacy is a choice, and not a requirement. In fact, in many cases, it is actually encouraged. For example, in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, Paul says that it is better to remain unmarried than to get married and then divorce. He also says that if one partner cannot control their sexual desires, then they should marry in order to avoid sinning.
However, he makes it clear that this is not a requirement, and that celibacy is an acceptable choice. Ultimately, whether or not to enter into a celibate marriage is a personal decision that each couple must make for themselves.
Bible Examples When Two People Are Married In The Eyes Of God
Adam and Eve
After Adam became one flesh with the woman, it is when God called them a man and wife. It is when they were married in the eyes of God.
Gen 2: 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh.
Gen 2: 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife and they were not ashamed.
See that Gen 2: 24 comes before verse 25 and that is not a mistake.
The joining takes place in sex resulting to two becoming one flesh. See how two become one flesh. And after unifying themselves, when Adam and the woman were both naked, God looked at them and said, man and his wife.
See that the first instance we find God calling two people a man and wife in the Bible is in Gen 2:25 when both are naked after becoming one flesh .
If you define or interpret the Bible without using the first mention principle, you will misinterpret and misunderstand it. See the first mention principle.
The Bible is self explanatory and in the first mention of a concept, idea, word, etc it explains itself and any other mentions just expound not contradict.
Look keenly at Gen 2: 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife and they were not ashamed.
When a man haves sex with his wife and both are naked, they are not ashamed. But when a person is committing adultery or fornication and they are both naked, they are ashamed. Many people conscience has been corrupt thus they are not ashamed of their sins.
Isaac and Rebecca
Jacob and his wives
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A Happy And Fulfilling Relationship
Its very clear that from the beginning, God intended the marriage union to be blessed, fulfilling and happy. First, He created man in His own image: able to love, communicate and create, and placed him in a beautiful garden where all the desires of a pure human heart could be met. But, Gods amazing work of creation was not complete until He made a woman. And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helper comparable to him. Genesis 2:18. A helper, a companion, his equal, someone to share his deepest thoughts and return his unfailing love! When God led the woman to Adam, his joy was complete as he declared, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Genesis 2:23.
Following this declaration, we read, Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24. Jesus Himself repeats this verse in Matthew 19:5, and adds, So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6. The apostle Paul again refers to the same verse, explaining that the marriage union is a picture of the great mystery, Christ and the church.
What Does The Bible Say About Sex In Marriage
In this over-sexed and under-loved world, people are looking for the real deal, the secret to lasting love with a vibrant sex life. Because of this pursuit for a purer passion, the most asked question we get when it comes to Red Hot Monogamy is, What is okay with God?
First and foremost, sex is for marriage. Ephesians 5:31-32 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 1 Thessalonians 4:38 reinforces this with the reminder,It is Gods will that you keep away from sexual sin as a mark of your devotion to him .
For married couples, God gives only a few clear commands on what is and isnt permissible with the gift of sex he created. Instead of a list of no-nos lets look at his guidelines in the affirmative:
You can say YES if you:
Yield to one another. Everything done is agreed upon. The goal of intimacy is unity. In Red Hot Monogamy we look at the 8 areas of intimacy and give tools to build intimacy in each area. Colossians 3:1 encourages: And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. If you love, you will want to talk through and agree on expressions in sexuality.
Extend it in love. No one should ever feel forced or coerced into sex. The sex acts should reflect love, not demean or inflict pain. Sex is a relationship to be protected not a person to exploit. Hebrews 13:4 reminds:
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