Mentoring And The Rod
Godly parenting is much more than establishing authority. And establishing authority is much more than the rod. But its not less than that. And with such weighty words in Scripture about the rods use, we young parents should be willing to learn the hows and whys of it.
There are helpful references to the rod in some Christian parenting books. Rachel Jankovic offers joyful vision-casting for discipline in Loving the Little Years. Ginger Hubbards Dont Make Me Count to Three is quite practical. And Tedd Tripp has a full chapter on the rod in Shepherding a Childs Heart.
But Id like to see millennial parents reaching out to previous generations of parents who did this well and asking the most basic practical questions. How do you discipline lovingly? What do you discipline for? What do you use? How do you pray with the child after you discipline them? This kind of thing is hard to pick up from a book. You pick it up best by example, from people you respect and trust. Obviously the ideal would be if you happened to grow up in a home where this was done well . But if you didnt get it thereand many of my millennial friends didntits hard to catch the vision without personal influence and support.
How Id love to hear stories of young parents in the church being humble enough to ask for help. Id also love to see more experienced parents being willing to risk seeming officious in order to do the loving thing and share their experiences.
Mr And Mrs Guy And Amber Lia And Mrs Jean Daly
Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,
Preach The Gospel At All Times
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 tells parents to incorporate Gods teaching into daily living. These words, which I command you today, shall be on your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.
As you work to live into Christs ways, you prepare yourself to be a better guide for your children to do the same. More is caught than is taught, but it works best to also teach with words and encouraging scriptures.
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Understanding The Root Of Your Child’s Misbehavior
Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their childs behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your childs temperament based on his birth order.
The Spiritual Battle For Your Marriage
God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy Gods beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemys lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that theyre not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.
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The Motive In Discipline: To Express Love
When juvenile delinquents, as part of a research study, were asked how they knew their parents feelings toward them, almost all of them said that lack of discipline in their home was a sign that their parents didnt love them. We often think that were expressing love when we repeatedly say, Ill give you another chance. What were really doing, though, is neglecting to set boundaries that let our children know theyre in a safety zone where they can feel secure.
One of the most powerful ways to love your child is to be consistent in your discipline. And thats really hard. Were inclined to do whatever we can to maintain a friendship with our kids, when Christian discipline is actually much more important.
I tend to do discipline well for a few weeks, and then find it more convenient to make compromises. Kids pick up on that in an instant.
Sharing Your Faith With Grace And Purpose
You can confidently and lovingly share your faithyou just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the Columbo tactic of asking questions, the self-defeating argument tactic to find holes in your opponents arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.
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Moms Raising Sons To Be Men
Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a womans life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.
The Difference Between Discipline And Punishment
Nurturing your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord means feeding them Gods Word. It means teaching them and guiding their behaviors so that learn what it means to follow Jesus.Christian disciplines are not the gateway to salvation. Misplacing them there will lead you to perfectionism and judgment. Rather, they are gentle guardrails intended to keep you moving towards holiness without running off the road.
Punishment, on the other hand, seems to have no place in Christian living. When you come to Christ, and die to yourself, you surrender the right to judge and punish. That right belongs to God alone.As Romans says, Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord. .
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What Does The Bible Say About Discipline The Proverbs About Child Discipline Teach Something Different From What Many Assume They Teach Loving Discipline
The book of Proverbs teaches practical wisdom for all people at every stage of life, including the parenting stage. Parenting should be a wonderful time of life when children are growing and developing.
The book of Proverbs has a lot to say about parenting.
But not all the proverbs are easy to understand, and some may even seem inapplicable to parents today. One example of a proverb like this could be Proverbs 13:24: He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Notice the strong words used in this verse: rod,hates,loves and disciplines.
What exactly is this verse teaching us?
Stay Calm And In Control
Remember that you are the authority and that it is God-given authority that you have. You dont need to lose control or yell at your child. Your authority has already been established by God. The only one you are trying to convince when you raise your voice is yourself. Accept the God-given responsibility to discipline your child and confidently administer the punishment necessary.
This is where starting early is important. If your child knows that you will call them 5 times to supper before you raise your voice or they get in trouble, then they wont come until the 5th time you yell at them. You have trained them to ignore you. You need to take control and teach them that when you say something, they need to obey. Besides starting early, you also need to be consistent as previously mentioned.
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Corporal Punishment: The Arguments
ENDING CORPORAL AND OTHER FORMS OF HUMILIATING PUNISHMENT OF CHILDRENDebate on corporal punishment
The Bible gives parents the right and duty to physically punish their children.Corporal punishment is strongly recommended in the Hebrew Scriptures . Most of the biblical quotations advocating corporal punishment of children appear in the book of Proverbs . Christians interpret these passages in different ways. Religious conservatives generally believe that the book of Proverbs was assembled by King Solomon, circa 1000 BCE. He brought together a group of sayings which were already current in his time some may have been his own thoughts others may have been first written down centuries earlier. The passages which deal with spanking presumably reflect his parenting beliefs with respect to his son, Rehoboam.
However, the Bible subsequently records the negative effect that this parenting style had on his son. Rehoboam became a widely hated ruler after his father’s death. At one point, he had to make a hasty retreat to Jerusalem to avoid being assassinated by his own people .
Spare the rod and spoil the child.This phrase is often incorrectly attributed to the Christian Bible. It does not appear there. It was first written in a poem by Samuel Butler in 1664.
My rights as a parent to bring up my children as I see fit / to religious freedom / to cultural expression are being violated.
3 THE EXAMPLE SET BY OTHER COUNTRIES
5 LEGAL PROCESSES
Love Is The Motivation For Disciplining Children
Any discipline, whether corporal or otherwise, must be motivated by love, being concerned for the best interests of the child. When we discipline our children, we are attempting to teach them wisdom and to show them right from wrong. If we discipline biblically and in love, our children will grow to respect us as parents for it, recognizing that we, too, are under Gods authority. Furthermore, they will learn to respect those in authority outside of the home, whether teachers, government officials, or employers.
The Bible commands us to discipline our children because it is a reflection of how God disciplines believers, who are His children:
Hebrews is clear: discipline from God our Father may be unpleasant, but the reward is the
fruit of righteousness. Likewise, when we practice biblical discipline with our children, we demonstrate that we love our children, and it teaches them wisdom and drives away foolishness.
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The Goal Of Discipline: To Teach Obedience
When you teach your children godly submission, youre teaching them to do the right thing for the right reason. You want them to get beyond the point where they say Ive got to and get them to the point of obeying out of love and trust. Their discipline will be primarily external in the beginning, but eventually, it should become internal so integrated into their personality that it is self-discipline rather than imposed discipline. The way you regulate how they speak and act toward other people needs to become a part of who they are so that when you remove the regulations, the behavior remains.
Children Are Part Of Gods Creative Plan
God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in number fill the earth and subdue it. Genesis 1:28
After creating Adam and Eve, God commanded that they be fruitful, or have children. The original design included families with children. Kids werent an afterthought. Everything about creation was pronounced good, including his design for children.
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Bible Verses About Parental Discipline
On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found,But a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding.
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
Do not hold back discipline from the child,Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.You shall strike him with the rodAnd rescue his soul from Sheol.
Discipline your son while there is hope,And do not desire his death.
But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live?For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.
The Biblical Definition Of Discipline
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The word for discipline in Greek is paideia, also translated as training. Merriam-Webster defines paideia as training of the physical and mental faculties in such a way as to produce a broad enlightened mature outlook harmoniously combined with maximum cultural development. For the Greeks, paideia was a schooling and socialization for the aristocracy. It was a sort of finishing school for the upper class.
Christian discipline matures, educates, and strengthens you, molding you into the likeness and holiness of Christ. It means adhering to the set of beliefs and actions that Jesus held, despite difficulties and temptations.Christian discipline is an important part of nurturing a person from a convert into a disciple. In his book, The Spirit of the Disciplines, Dallas Willard states, A discipline for the spiritual life is, when the dust of history is blown away, nothing but an activity undertaken to bring us into more effective cooperation with Christ and his Kingdom.Adhering to the spiritual disciplines of the Lord shapes you into the likeness Christ. To be shaped, you must be softened. That means you must be humble and willing to be changed.
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Five Characteristics Of Biblical Discipline
Sometimes its hard to know if youre disciplining your children effectively. Try using these five measures from the Bible.
Discipline can be a really vague concept. Christian Discipline or Biblical Discipline can be just as vague or confusing. If youre lost in the landscape of opinions surrounding it out there, youre not alone. If you were to ask a hundred parents to describe their motives and methods of discipline, you might get a hundred different answers. But heres the good news:
Realize Each Child Is Unique
A child who never receives discipline in the home will have a harder time understanding and accepting their need of salvation.
Every child responds to discipline in different ways. My two children couldnt be more different in personality and in the way they respond to correction. One is tender and thoughtful. There is rarely a time when they need to be told twice not to do something. The other child is forgetful to the point of forgetting that discipline hurts and they dont really want to go through it again. This one continues to relive the same cycle until the pain sets in.
You cannot expect your children to respond the same way to correction whether it is discipline by spanking or positive reinforcement. Realize they are different and correct them in a way that is appropriate to them. They still need discipline, but you may find they work better with a different form than your other children.
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Have A Positive Attitude Towards Discipline
Dont dread discipline. Discipline is respectful to the child and the world they will grow up to impact. Being positive does not mean you need to look forward to every opportunity to spank your child that you can get, but that you will have a proper outlook for how important discipline is. It is like personal discipline. You may not look forward to going to the gym, walking around the block or pushing away from the table, but if you have the right attitude, you know that doing these things will have good repercussions in your life. It may not be fun at the moment, but the result is far more enjoyable than the alternative.
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Do Not Provoke Your Children
The apostle Paul provides some more helpful guidance on discipline. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord .
Paul is saying there must be a balance to discipline. Paul encourages the training and instruction that leads to strength and self-control, and that helps our children grow to make the right decisions in life. But he also warns against provoking our children.
If our children cannot clearly tell that we are disciplining them because we love them, it can provoke them to anger and even bitterness.Too often, parents go from one extreme to another. At times there may be little guidance and discipline, and at other times, parents can be too strict and harsh, disciplining out of anger and frustration. Its very dangerous for parents to correct their children just to feel better themselves! If our children cannot clearly tell that we are disciplining them because we love them, it can provoke them to anger and even bitterness. This can lead to serious problems later in life.
The more time and effort we give to working with our children from a young age, and the earlier they see that we love them and genuinely care for them, the easier parenting will be as they get older.
But that doesnt mean that there will never be pushback and attitudes!
Remember what we read in Hebrews 12:11: No chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful.
It takes work and effort from an early age.