Take Responsibility For Your Sexual Purity
Repent of sexual failures. You will only flee sexual immorality when you get serious with God.
Develop friendships with people who value purity. Especially in the area of sexuality, evil company corrupts good habits . By contrast, those committed to sexual integrity can help you swim against the cultural stream.
Practice saying no. To an outrageously sexualized people, Paul said, I discipline my body and bring it into subjection . When by the Spirit we say no to our desires, they resist with vehemence. Rarely engaged will-power reacts like muscles at an annual visit to the weight room, but in time, no begins to win the war against lust .
Use Wisdom. Where do you tend to sin sexually? Approach those areas with sound wisdom, realistic planning, genuine accountability, and pointed prayer.
Pursue marriage. Marriage isnt a magic pill for loneliness and lust, but it is part of Gods prescribed regimen for practicing the beautifully human desire for deep sharing.
How Important Is Sex In A Marriage
Sex is of great importance in marriage for the following reasons:
It makes procreation possible. God told Adam and Eve, Be fruitful and multiply. God wanted them to fill the earth with their kind. When Adam had sex with his wife, it led to the birth of Cain their first child.
Science has come up with ways of conceiving babies, but the only way approved by God for man is through sexual intercourse.
Sex binds couples together as one. For it is said, The two will become one flesh. 1 Corinthians 6:16. That makes sex a powerful tool that we should not toy with, but handle with care.
When married couples have sex they get more united, hence there will be peace and harmony in the home. When unmarried couples have sex, they violate Gods laid-down rule, It brings unholy unity that creates the right atmosphere for Satan to operate.
Sex makes love between husband and wife stronger. It makes them explore each other to a deeper level of feeling that words cannot express.
How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice!
Awake, north wind, and come south wind! Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.
Song of Solomon 4:10, 16
That is the kind of wonderful feeling that is expressed on a wedding night between couples that are having sex for the first time. It seals the love they have for each other.
The Enjoyment Of Her Body
One of the biggest cultural stereotypes is of men who ogle women. Well, it is a stereotype that has quite a bit of foundation behind it. It is commonly seen and portrayed, from what happens on the street to what it shown in movies and TV. And it is not in God’s plan. Jesus clearly taught that looking at a woman in lust was the same as adultery . However, put into biblical perspective, the male enjoyment of the female body can be both godly and enriching. Unfortunately, because of sin and sinful behaviors, it can be challenging to appreciate the rightness of a husband loving the view of his wife’s body. We have often heard wives express that it really bothers them how their husband likes to touch them sensually and sexually . It may really bother them how easily their husbands become aroused when they see their wife naked or when they get in bed with their naked or lightly clothed wife. It has caused some women to stop dressing in front of their husbands. For others, they wear their pajamas like protective armor.
Don’t Miss: What The Bible Says About Change
Is Sex Before Marriage A Sin If You Love The Person
While sex isnt everything it is something. There is a bit of mystery around the act that makes it hard to pinpoint what about it is so significant. God did create sex to symbolize the union of a man and a woman . We see later in the New Testament that sex is reserved for between a man and a woman. Sex was designed to bring two people together and seal a bond that should last for life.
The Bible clearly tells us that God did set sex aside as a significant act of love and commitment meant only for married life. As Christ followers we are prompted to commit to waiting it out until the big day.
We have to trust God, knowing that He created sex with your life changing union in mind. Since we know it means something to Him, as people in His family, we should take the attitude that says, If it means something to Him it should mean something to us.
We follow a mysterious God and He asks His people to trust and believe that He has your very best in mind. As believers, we are called to give over our sexual desire to the Lord and follow His plan. Just as God throughout the Bible instructs His people is so many other ways , His instruction around sex is Him seeing the big picture of our lives and trying to push us toward the best this life has to offer.
1 Corinthians 13:5 reminds us that love is not self-seeking. The best way to show love to your partner is to love them, and their spiritual well-being, more than your love your own body and its desires.
Pleasing Your Spouse: Stewards Of Each Other’s Bodies
“But a married man is concerned with… how he can please his wife… A married woman is concerned about… how she can please her husband” .
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband… Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” .
“The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife” .
These scriptures in 1 Corinthians 7 are some of the most specific, helpful, and misunderstood scriptures of the bible on sex. So let’s go over a few important points.
In a similar way, Paul points out that the wife and husband have the authority over each other’s bodies. What does that mean? This has often been taught in the churches to mean that a wife should never deny her husband sex. Though that question is an important one to answer, it misses the fact that 1 Cor 7:4 is not even addressing that. The wording in the Greek here is quite helpful. The term that is important is exousiazo, which means: to exercise authority over. This is a term describing a delegated or conferred power or authority.
Recommended Reading: What Is The Meaning Of Peace In The Bible
Why Is Sexual Purity So Important To God
A loving marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the church. God hates sexual impurity because it is a distorted, deflated imitation of the real thing. Its like trading in a priceless diamond for a tawdry dime-store fake. Satan has taken the precious gift of sexual intimacy and converted it into a shabby substitution: a no-strings-tied quick physical release. No commitment, no meaning.
Sex used as fleeting pleasure between unmarried, uncommitted people contaminates the whole point of sex to bond a married couple together. Unmarried couples may think its all casual, but the reality is that any sexual encounter creates lasting psychological and chemical bonds between the two. When people who have created these bonds through immorality later marry other people, they are haunted by their previous sexual flings. This interferes with trust and sexual pleasure in the marriage. The attachments formed through sexual immorality complicate married sex.
Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And dont you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, The two are united into one.
In this case, you need to repent of your past sexual encounters, confess them to God, and ask Him to forgive you and release you from any emotional, sexual, or spiritual bonds to past lovers that might interfere with your marital relationship.
What Does This Mean
The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves. Christians can mess up and receive Gods full forgiveness. But there is a stark difference between messing up and continuing to do so with the mindset, I can always ask for forgiveness.
What matters is a fully repentant heart. Repentance isnt just an attitude of the heart it literally means to turn from the former life with a commitment to change for the better. We, as followers of Christ, must strive to live within the confines of his loving boundaries and celebrate the good gifts hes given us even if that means we have to wait until our wedding day.
Heather Riggleman is a believer, wife, mom, author, social media consultant, and full-time writer. She lives in Minden, Nebraska with her kids, high school sweetheart, and three cats who are her entourage around the homestead. She is a former award-winning journalist with over 2,000 articles published. She is full of grace and grit, raw honesty, and truly believes tacos can solve just about any situation. You can find her on GodUpdates, iBelieve, Crosswalk, Hello Darling, Focus On The Family, and in Brio Magazine. Connect with her at www.HeatherRiggleman.com or on .
You May Like: What Does The Bible Say About God’s Love
What Does The Scriptures Say About Abstinence From Sex Before Marriage
There is much information in the Bible about sex, and believe it or not, God thinks its a great idea! And why shouldnt He? He invented it. However, it is just unwise to have sex with someone who is not your wife as it is unwise to wake up a sleeping lion or ice skate on a lake in the middle of summer. Having heard this, one is likely to ask why? Interestingly, there are tons of Biblical and practical, common-sense reasons that have significant consequences. Some common consequences include dealing with the possibility of pregnancy, contracting or sharing a sexually transmitted disease, and the most underrated but possibly most impacting are the intense emotional issues that sexually active teens struggle with and take into their marriage.
Does the Bible condemn or say that premarital sex is wrong?
Amazingly, God is not down on sex. He designed it to be so intense, so exciting, so memorable, and so fun that He wants us to share it with one person: our spouse. Thus, if you havent had sex yet, it is wise and advisable to keep waiting youll be glad you did! If youve already had sex, talk to God about it. He wants to forgive you and give you a fresh start. Behold, you can start over today right now! All you need to do is to sincerely turn to God and talk to Him for He is willing and ready to forgive you. He loves you and wants you to live righteously in Christ. Hebrews 13:4 says, .
Supporting Scriptures and Benefits of keeping Gods Law
How Far Is Too Far
51. Romans 14:23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.
52. Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for Gods holy people.
53. Job 31:1 I have made a covenant with my eyes how then could I gaze at a virgin?
54. Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
55. Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
56. Romans 8:5 For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.
Don’t Miss: What Does The Bible Say About Good Deeds
When And Why Is Sex Before Marriage A Sin
Is premarital sex a sin? Short answer, yes . But Ill ask you thisdo you actually understand the reason why the Bible asks us to save sex for marriage? I can tell you this muchits not to shame us if we have a past were not so proud of, its not to interject itself in an unhelpful way in our daily lives, its not to make us miserable, and its not a test to see how much we actually love God. It is, in fact, for us, not against or opposed to us.
Sex with anyone other than your spouse will always be sinful. This is because the Catholic Church is very clear that the only context in which sex isn’t sinful, is when it takes place within a marriage.
Does The Bible Say Pre
While you won’t find that specific phrase used in the Bible, the Bible repeatedly talks about “sexual immorality” or “sexual sins.” These references to sex are talking about any sexual activity outside of marriage, so if you’re having sex without being married … God wants you to stop. Some of the places you can find these verses are Hebrews 13:41 Thessalonians 4:3-41 Thessalonians 4:71 Corinthians 6:18-20Colossians 3:5A friend from the Netherlands shared some other great verses on this topic: In Song of Solomon 2:7Song of Solomon 3:5 and Song of Solomon 8:4 there is a strong warning against premarital sex when it says, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” In other words, save sex for marriage!God is not down on sex. He designed it to be so intense, so exciting, so memorable, so fun that He wants us to share it with one person: our future wife. So if you haven’t had sex yet … keep waiting – you’ll be glad you did! If you’ve already had sex, talk to God about it. He wants to forgive you and give you a fresh start. You can start over today – right now! Talk to God – He’s waiting and willing to forgive you. Why? Because He loves you!Keep asking questions and looking to God for help – He has all the answers!
Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins.”
Also Check: What Does Son Of Man Mean In The Bible
What Advantage Does Waiting Give Your Future Marriage
Waiting grows trust. Heres the truth: unwavering commitment to each other and a strong foundation of trust between the two of you is what keeps marriage together. The reality is the decision to wait to have sex until you are married is not about God hating sex but instead a chance for you to prove to each other that you are trustworthy.
Refraining from sex is about how much self-control you possess as a couple. Making the choice to wait now will help when the choice to remain faithful presents itself in the future. It may feel painfully difficult to keep strong boundaries about physical touch before you are married, but over the course of a lifetime together its almost inevitable that even greater temptation to wander from faithful dedication to your spouse will arise.
Sometimes we miss the point of engagements. They are meant to be a period of practice for marriage. While there is hype and excitement that fills this time of life, it’s also a crucial period of time for you to begin to shift your thinking from that of a single, my-needs-come-first mindset, to a married, I-have-to-think-about-the-needs of-my-family-first mindset.
Choosing to deny yourself for a short time in order to set a strong foundation and give your spouse a beautiful wedding day gift is a powerful first step towards being a strong godly leader in your marriage.
Dr Lawson Stone Responds:
The students claim that in the Old Testament it appears that, rather than sex being confined to marriage, it leads to marriage involves a number of errors, misinterpretations, and blind spots resulting from not hearing the OT in its own setting and voice. The fact in the OT is that a marriage was seen as naturally being real when sexual intercourse took place because sexual intercourse is the actual physical and emotional uniting of the man and woman. This is the origin of the tradition in the Roman Catholic church that a wedding not followed by sexual intercourse, i.e. not consummated, is incomplete and may be annulled. But this proposition is not reversible, that one can have sex and consider oneself married! The union created by sexual intercourse is real, and happens regardless of ones legal state or even feelings of intimacy. This is why St. Paul warns that sex even with a prostitute still fuses the john to the prostitute as one flesh, and for a believer, implicates the Holy Spirit in an unholy union. The Bible sees sexual union as the vital core of marriage, but this in no way implies that no concern existed for making sure such a union was lawful, sanctioned and blessed by God.
Used by permission.
Dr. Jerry Walls, Ph.D., Notre Dame. Author, speaker, and professor of Philosophy.
Dr. Ben Witherington III, Ph.D., University of Durham in England. Author, speaker, and professor of New Testament and Biblical Studies.
Recommended Reading: Does The Bible Support The Trinity