The World’s View Of Dating
The world is constantly sending a message of “try before you buy” when it comes to dating. The world says that dating as much as you want is totally fine. The world says that sleeping around is necessary to see if you’re physically compatible. The world says that living together before you’re married is completely normal because, well, how else would you find out if your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s habits are too annoying to live with?
Sadly, this is a very self-centered way of entering into a relationship. This view is all about pleasing ourselvesnot loving and serving another person. That kind of attitude and motivation will ultimately lead to a relationship ending in disaster. Even very well-meaning, God-loving Christian couples can fall into the trap of selfishness when it comes to relationships.
Learn More From Other Biblical Couples
The Bible has many other examples that can teach us about relationships. The five biblical couples above are only a handful, but these are the ones that have touched me deeply. Through studying them, I am better able to face the insecurities caused by my past relationships. These couples also inspire me to build a proper, God-pleasing view of relationship, and help me re-focus on God Himself. I hope that all I have learned about relationships can also help bring light to you in your own relationships.
When We Are Toxic
Everyone is guilty on some level of being abusive or toxic to others at some point. As humans, we are going to fail to live up to God’s standards. The potential to harm has to do with sin and our innate bent toward selfishness . Those who have accepted the need for a Savior acknowledge that only Love Himself, Jesus Christ, can overrule our selfishness, transforming it into real love . We have a responsibility to care for and love othersnot cause harm .
Christians that cause harm to others understand that they must repent for their mistakes, and apologize for their actions. When we look deep into the mirror, we may realize that we are the ones who have some unhealthy tendencies that God wants to change. We should stop wasting time in toxic patterns of living, because He has better in store for us.
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Bible Verses About A Relationship With God
He displays love for us in John 3:16.
He is our vine in John 15:4-5.
He is our creator in Genesis 1:27.
He is our safety in Proverbs 18:10.
He is our refuge and strength in Psalm 46:1.
He is our help in Psalm 121:1-2.
He wipes every tear in Revelation 21:4.
Scripture provides many more helpful passages for us to study. And the next time someone asks, What does the Bible say about relationships? well be able to answer with godly wisdom straight from Gods Word.
Kristi Woods is a writer and speaker but mostly a Jesus girl. She writes weekly and offers faith-building tools for a deeper walk with God at www.KristiWoods.net. She contributes regularly at iBelieve.com and Crosswalk.com and is published in various print and online publications. Kristi, her handsome, retired-from-the-Navy husband, and their three children survived a nomadic, military lifestyle and have set roots in Oklahoma–where she keeps close watch for tornadoes and good chocolate. Connect with Kristi at KristiWoods.net.
Does God Tell You Who To Date
God gave us free will, so I hesitate to say that God ever tells us who to date. However, God has a plan for us that will lead to our ultimate happiness and holiness. Therefore, we should always seek His guidance regarding who to date and who not to date.
If we are open to His voice and His will, He will guide us in the right direction.
In Genesis 24, Abrahams servant is tasked with finding a wife for Isaac. He prays for clarity about whom this woman should be:
While I stand here at the spring, if I say to a young woman who comes out to draw water, Please give me a little water from your jug, and she answers, Drink, and I will draw water for your camels, toothen she is the woman whom the LORD has decided upon for my masters son. .
Interestingly, while Rebekah may have been chosen by God to be with Isaac, she is still given a choice about whether or not to marry him.
They answered, ‘Let us call the young woman and see what she herself has to say about it.’ So they called Rebekah and asked her, ‘Will you go with this man?’ She answered, ‘I will.’ ” .
The story of Isaac and Rebecca demonstrates the importance of turning to prayer to find your spouse. Sometimes, Gods way is crystal clear other times, it may not be obvious at all. Ultimately, though, just like Rebekah, we have the freedom to choose someone, whether God points us to them or not.
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When Others Are Toxic
God does not want us to stay when we are in a toxic relationship. Why spend your time, effort, and resources seeking acceptance from people who are so wrapped up in themselves that they cant accommodate anybody else in their lives? Why spend your spiritual gifts on people who arent appreciating the One who lives inside you?
If a person in your life is toxic to your mental, spiritual, or physical health, often the wisest decision is to put some distance between you and them. Gods greatest desire is to set us free, and sometimes that means facing the person and saying stop, no more and walking away.
In Galatians 4:7-10, the Apostle Paul admonishes the church for listening to someone who was spreading lies and shaking people’s faith in God. He spoke pretty harshly upon the troublesome person too . Paul goes on to say that love is the better option, but that distance may be necessary for “if you bite and devour one another,” you may end up hurting each other a lot worse .
Being angry and frustrated by a toxic situation, relationship is perfectly normal. Typically, that’s our mind’s way of alerting us to the fact that something is very wrong. If you’re in a toxic environment, you do not need to “get used to it” or “just get over it.” God wants you to remove yourself from these situations.
God actually warns us of the many different types of toxic people we might encounter in our daily lives.
Why Do We Have Relationships
Relationships were first instituted by the true heart of God the Father. In the Garden of Eden, God made possible a relationship with Himself through the first man, Adam. Adam walked with God in the Garden, had conversations, was loved, and knew his Creator well. In Genesis 2, God brought forth the second most important relationship a man can have, a marriage relationship with a wife. In fact, the only marriage that was ever perfect for a time was the marriage of Adam and Eve before the Fall. Genesis 2:18 famously recalls, The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ God intended from the dawn of time that man not walk alone. It was also the intention of God to make a helper suitable for Adam, one who would truly complement him.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep and while he was sleeping, he took one of the mans ribsand then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. .
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Who Should You Date
The basis of whom to date at times can seem arbitrary, but in truth is foundational within the character of the person. A mans character is seen through his actions and words. Proverbs 10:9 shares, Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his ways crooked will be found out. The truth comes out, even if it has attempted to be hidden. Ephesians 5:1 shares, Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. This most accurately means living in such a way that the fruit of ones life is glorifying to the Lord and boasting in God alone. Proverbs 31 most famously remarks upon the attributes of a Godly wife, sharing in part, When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. The fruit of thoughts are words of the mouth, and the fruit of the heart are actions in life. A man or woman of integrity is not only to be praised but to be prayed for and sought after for a potential spouse.
When Will God Give Me A Spouse
God has someone already created for you. God will provide that person.
Prepare yourself to get married. Pray that God helps you prepare. There is too much temptation today. Seek to get married at a young age. I am not saying be passive, but the Lord will bring that person to you. You dont need to seek online dating websites. God will help you meet the person who is meant for you.
Make sure that you start your search with prayer. Dont be afraid because even if you are a really shy person the Lord will open a door for you. While you are praying for someone, someone is always praying for you.
What you must not do is become bitter and say, everyone around me is in a relationship why am I not? Sometimes we are not ready financially, spirituality, in maturity, or its just not Gods will yet. You must keep your eyes on Christ and pray for His peace and comfort when you are single because you will kill yourself if you are constantly thinking about it.
You will start saying, maybe Im too this, maybe Im too that, maybe I need to start looking like this, maybe I need to buy that. That is idolatry and of the devil. You are perfectly made. Trust in the Lord that He will provide.
Sometimes God uses singleness to drive you in prayer. He wants you to keep on knocking and one day He is going to say, enough, you want it? Here! There she is, there he is. I have sovereignly given you this person. I made her/him for you. Now take care of him and lay down your life for her.
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Questions To Think About
If youre considering dating, or just want to think more deeply about this topic, here are some questions to help you:
But Why Talk About Polyamory At All
According to a 2017 paper in Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, more than one in five American adults have engaged in consensual nonmonogamy in their lifetime. This finding was consistent across age, education, income, religion, political affiliation, and race but slightly higher for LGBT folks.
According to research conducting by YouGov, an Internet-based market research firm, just about half of all millennials are open to non-monogamy. Remember that millennial isnt short-hand for kids these days the oldest millennials are now 37!
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It Is Good To Expose The Abuser
Secrets are deadly, especially when there is abuse in a home. Bringing the deeds of darkness to light is the only way to get help for both the victim and the abuser. If you are working with a couple and notice that the woman defers to her husband, regularly looks to him before she answers, blames herself for all their conflicts, speak with them separately.
If you are a victim of an abusive relationship, it is not sinful to tell. It is good to expose the hidden deeds of darkness . Biblical love is always action directed towards the best interest of the beloved. This is true even when it is difficult or involves sacrifice.
Date A Healthy Person
Gods Word reminds us of the importance of connecting with people who are in line with our spiritual life . The truth about relationships is that the healthier both individuals are emotionally and spiritually, the healthier the relationship will be.
Apply this truth to dating by connecting with people who are on the same page as you are spiritually and emotionally.
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Whats The Difference Between Courtship & Dating
Many have chosen courtship in lieu of dating. Dating typically is a man and a woman going on outings such as a movie or dinner to come to know each other more deeply through conversation and life. Courtship, on the other hand, begins with a friendship and then involving the parents of both parties has intentional meetings similar to that of dating. Almost always courting will result in marriage, whereas dating has a higher risk of ending before the altar. Courting also greatly involves the families of both parties so that the families come to know the potential spouse for their son or daughter better. Physical limits are typically higher for courtship as well, with the usual omission of kissing.
Godly relationships usually come together through courting or dating to eventually lead to marriage if the Lord opens such a door. Ecclesiastes 3 shares that there is nothing new under the sun, so the people aforementioned in the Bible were just men and women as today. They were broken, flawed, and they were hopeful for love and a Godly relationship. The Lord brought forth a relationship that not only served the Kingdom but blessed the individuals to have that, bone of bone relating and exceedingly beyond what one could ask for or imagine kind of story. . It allows the Creator of all to write a story that would make even a fairy tale seem lackluster, for He is the Greatest Author of all love.
What Does The Bible Actually Say About Dating
Type the word dating into your Bible search tool and what comes up?
When I was single, I remember wishing there was an entire bookor even just a chapterof the Bible dedicated to the topic of dating. But though the Scriptures are filled with foundational life-changing truths, there are plenty of topics the Bible doesnt specifically speak to.
Not only is there nothing in the Bible specifically about dating, but the concept of dating didnt even exist in biblical times. Even today in many areas of the Middle East, dating is a relatively new concept and couples cant even be seen together in public unless they are officially engaged to be married.
In biblical times, the process of meeting a spouse had very little to do with compatibility and personality traits, and everything to do with family lineage and economic status. Finding a mate functioned a lot more like a bartering system than dinner and a movie.
In most aspects of modern life, God doesnt provide cookie-cutter answers or formulas. But be encouraged, though He may not always provide us with the direct plan, He always gives us everything we need to get where He wants us to go.
The Bible makes it clear that life is less about the dos and donts and so much more about doing whats beneficial, healthy, and righteous . So what does that mean when it comes to dating? How can dating be done in a way thats healthy and righteous?
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What Does The Bible Say About Dating Or Courting
Dating and courting are basically the same thingjust different terms. “Courtship” is generally viewed as pursuing a relationship with the full intention to marry the other person. “Dating” is viewed as more casual and usually wrapped up in a simple series of romantic encounters .
Before we get into this though, we’ve gotta throw out the reminder that if your parents have told you that they do not want you to date yet, then you must respect their rules. Colossians 3:20 says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” That said, let’s take a look at what the Bible says about romantic relationships.
The Bible does not actually mention the terms “dating” and “courtship”, but we can definitely find some principles about relationships that will help us understand what’s up with this touchy subject. First things first, let’s separate how the world views dating from how God wants us to handle the period of time before a couple gets married. According to 2 Peter 2:18-20, God’s way is totally contradictory to the way the world says unmarried couples should act.