If There Are Children How Do They Feel About Your Remarrying
This issue was a serious one for Rita and me. That is because she had four adult children and I had three. At first my children had only a slight acquaintance with Rita. Her children did not know me at all. After studying this question carefully and consulting counselors and trusted friends, we took a path that has been reasonably successful. It has helped us establish a harmonious family relationship. We recommend the following guidelines for your consideration:
In Order To Receive Support The Widows Must Be Godly
Paul says she has set her hope on God and continues in her pleas and prayers night and day . This woman is living in prayercommunion with Godand she continually petitions him for help. Luke 2:37 describes a godly widow named Anna who never left the temple but prayed day and night to the Lord. When Jesus was brought to the temple as a baby, she prophesied over him.
To further support the need for godliness, Paul says, But the one who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives . Often the church is bombarded by requests for help. Sadly, these requests commonly come from those living in drunkenness, sexual immorality, financial irresponsibility, and sometimes even drug use. To support these people financially may actually harm and further handicap them. Sometimes with Christians living in rebellion, their dire situation is a natural consequence of their sin and a form of the Lords discipline . To help someone who is unrepentant might hinder them from truly repenting and turning to God.
Paul commands Timothy to use discrimination in who they support. In Thessalonica, some people were refusing to work but living off the churchs generosity. Paul says if a person doesnt work, they shouldnt eat . There is a place for saying, No, when individuals are not walking with God.
What Does The Bible Say About Widows And Orphans
A sad fact of life is that there are many widows and orphans in the world. In some countries, they are well cared for. In others, they are left to fend for themselves. However, what many people do not realize is that Christians are called to have an active role in providing for widows and orphans. What does the Bible say about widows and orphans?
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What Is The Financial Status Of Each Of You
Of all the issues that may imperil a marriage, the subject of money can be the most deadly. The issues below must be studied and resolved before the marriage takes place.
An agreement must be reached if one of you has much more money than the other. There must be a clear understanding of how finances will be divided. There probably would not be a 50-50 split of assets in this circumstance. If this is a potential trouble spot, identify it early in a relationship.
A definite plan must be established with regard to spending money. Decide how much will be spent for yourselves, your childrens needs, recreation, vacations, or eating away from home. If you are planning to establish a joint checking account, there should be a clear understanding about which expenditures will be made from that source. Unless such a decision is reached, there is considerable potential for disagreement and stress.
The Church Has A Duty Not To Support Younger Widows
Paul is wise and practical. He does not want the church to turn into a welfare agency, supporting those who are not serving or who should be carrying their own load.
A. Younger widows should not be supported, but should marry and be devoted to their families .
These verses are not easy to interpret. Some understand that the older widows made some kind of pledge to the Lord and to the church to the effect that they would remain single so as to devote their remaining years completely to serve the Lord. If a younger widow made such a pledge, but then started wishing to marry again, she would thus go back on her pledge and incur the censure of the church. Paul is not condemning the natural desire of a younger widow to remarry. What is wrong is the breaking of a pledge.
Others take it differently. The words previous pledge are literally, first faith. Coupled with verse 15, they argue that Paul was addressing an existing problem, namely, that these younger widows who were put on the support of the church were allowing their desire to remarry to be greater than their faith in Christ, so that they even would remarry an unbeliever.
B. Unmarried women in the church with dependent widows should support them .
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Will You Avoid Comparison Of Your Deceased Mate With Your New One
You will never find a mate exactly like your first. Your new husband or wife will have some good qualities your first mate didnt have, and vice versa. Do not place your former mate on a pedestal and challenge your new partner to be the same. Leaving the deceaseds picture on the wall and remarking that he or she was so good about doing such-and-so is not conducive to a harmonious second marriage. Conversely, there is no profit in amplifying all the faults of your former spouse. Be fair and objective about your first mate, without making direct or indirect comparisons to your new or intended partner. What happened in your first marriage is history. Let it go at that.
In A Way We Are All Widows
Anyone who is bereft deserves the kind of care God commands for widows, Andy explains. Women of any age may have lost their husbands through death, abandonment, to a nursing home or prison, he says. This is a large population of our churches. Single mothers are widows, and their children are fatherless.
But its not just them.
After spending a literal quarter century in James 1:27, Andy says he can see the whole gospel in it. Its the most challenging passage in Scripture for me. Its true religion to serve widows and orphans, because their condition is our condition apart from Jesus, he explains. Since Adam and Eve after the garden, it has been so. Without Jesus, were worse than at risk. We are without protection husbandless and fatherless.
The Widows Harvest ladies understand that this is the human condition apart from Christ. And their dependence on the One who loves them is a model for all of us. That dependence leads them to be powerful and beautiful ministers, praying for the churches in their town, speaking into the lives of teens, and supporting ministries.
But praying, like service to widows, means slowing down, forgoing other plans, giving up what we already have in order to make room for slow processes, like prayers. We like to fix things in a hurry. We dont like long-term commitment. Were concerned about best use of resources, especially of our time. But sometimes what God calls us to do takes our time.
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What About Sex For The Surviving Spouse
I received a question today that frankly stunned me: Do you have anything on, What to do if youre a widow or widowed now, as now theres no sexual partner but only desires, what do you do? Thank you It stunned me because, I have
I received a question today that frankly stunned me:
Do you have anything on, What to do if youre a widow or widowed now, as now theres no sexual partner but only desires, what do you do? Thank you
It stunned me because, I have not given a single thought to this, and frankly, thats pretty rare for me. Usually I have some thought on any subject. But this time I sort of echoed the question: Yeah! What DO you do? What if you are the surviving spouse, and you are used to having a sexual relationship and now its suddenly gone?
So, I turn to the Bible, because it is my first source of wisdom. Then I discussed it with my wife, because she is my second source of wisdom, and she basically pointed me back to the Bible . And then I thought about it because, well, thats what I do, and sure enough, more Bible verses came to mind. So, heres what I came up with.
But to the unmarried people and to the widows, I declare that it is well for them to remain even as I do.
But if they have not self-control , they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame .
1 Corinthians 7:8-9
So, what does Paul say in this verse? Its pretty simple either:
Was Paul Too Harsh With His Instructions
Paul was Timothy’s father in the faith and his mentor. Timothy was a young pastor and Paul did not want him to be taken advantage of. Therefore, Paul gave Timothy some guidelines not only about widows, but also about other groups of people in the church in 1 Timothy Chapter 5.
Paul gave Timothy special instructions at a time when widows were a real concern for the churches. After the death of their husbands, some of them had no support at all. According to Acts 6:1, widows were being neglected in the daily distribution of food.
Paul placed emphasis on “real widows” in the church who should be supported if they were destitute and godly. He used the expressions “real widows” or “true widows” throughout his instructions to Timothy.
When reading the passage on the surface, it might seem like Paul was harsh with his instructions. Paul does a lot of teaching to other groups within that one passage.
He concluded the passage by saying, “Let the church not be burdened, so that it may assist those who are real widows .
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Advise To Widowers And Widows
1 Corinthians 7:7-9
Advise to Widowers and Widows
First Corinthians chapter seven places high value on the single life of celibacy and it strongly contradicts the popular idea that only those who are married are truly fulfilling their purpose and calling in life. It makes clear that it is not only possible but also desirable to be content and fulfilled while living a single life of celibacy. Singleness is a role that is to be endorsed and esteemed by the church, neither as inferior to marriage, nor as superior to marriage but on par with marriage. It is an honorable calling that God places on the lives of many people.
In our last study we saw in verses 1-6 that the Bible insists that if you are married you must devote yourself to giving care and affection to your spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Vs. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
Look at verse 7 again: For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
Now in the next two verses Paul addresses those who are in his situation, they have lost their spouse and are no longer married, but they do not all have his gift of celibacy.
The Church Should Utilize The Ministry Of Godly Widows
No widow should be put on the list unless she is at least sixty years old, was the wife of one husband, and has a reputation for good works: as one who has raised children, practiced hospitality, washed the feet of the saints, helped those in distressas one who has exhibited all kinds of good works.
1 Timothy 5:9-10
InterpretationQuestion: Why were the widows in verses 9-10 put on the list? What was their function?
Next, Paul talks about widows who could be registered or put on the list . Who were these women? Some people believe that Paul is still talking about women who received financial support. However, if this were true, very few widows would be supported, as the requirements are very strict . Some of these widows may have received financial support, but the primary focus seems to be their serving in some official capacity. This is clear by how the qualifications mirror the ones given for the elders and deacons in 1 Timothy 3 .
In addition, there is extra-biblical support for an official order of widows serving in churches. John MacArthur adds,
In the late first and early second centuries, Ignatius and Polycarp wrote of such an order. Tertullian, who lived in the latter part of the second and early part of the third centuries, also mentioned it. The third-century document known as the Didascalia, and the fourth-century Apostolic Constitutions also refer to an order of widows.9
InterpretationQuestion: What types of ministry did these widows focus on?
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Jeopardizing What We Already Have: The Overlooked Role Of Widows In Your Church
Would you scrap your plans if an opportunity presented itself to serve someone God deeply loved? Would you even notice it as an opportunity? In Chattanooga, two men did, and a lot of people have become more like Jesus.
It started with looking at what the Bible says about widows.
Theres a story in the book of Ruth that doesnt get talked about much, says Andy Mendonsa, Executive Director of Widows Harvest Ministries in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Ruth, a widow and a Moabite, refuses to leave her mother-in-law after both of their husbands have died. She travels with Naomi to Israel, where she is an outsider, and the two widows live together in poverty, until a wealthy relative, Boaz, takes notice.
Maybe because of a mutual fondness that develops between Ruth and Boaz, and surely in part because Naomi is working behind the scenes as a matchmaker, Boaz explores the possibility of making Ruth his wife. Most Christians know this part of the story its this next part that we dont talk about as much.
There is another relative who has right of first refusal. Boaz goes to the city gates and catches this relative walking by. Sit down, friend, Boaz says. He knows the laws about widows and land .
Naomi, your relative, whose son has died, has a piece of property, Boaz explains. Its yours if you want to take it. The relative quickly, and in the presence of the town elders, commits to take the land. Then Boaz springs some news on him.
As surely as the Lord lives, I will redeem you.
The Second List Of Widows
The second list includes instructions that are the complete opposite of the ones on the first list.
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The Church Must Honor The Role Of Housewife And Homemaker
One question that must be asked as we consider this text is, Why are we only talking about widows and not widowers? What about the men? No doubt, the reason is because Paul expects the men to work and be financial providers. Most likely these widows were housewives, so they had no other means of support when their husbands died. Throughout Scripture it is at least implied if not directly taught that men will financially provide for the families and that wives will take care of the home and raise children. Titus 2:5 commands for the older women to teach the younger women how to be homemakers . Paul even calls for young widows in this passage to get married, raise children, and to manage their households . To further support the view of men as providers, we have the example of Christ and the church which symbolizes marriage. In Ephesians 5, Christ washes, feeds, and cares for his bridethe church. He is the provider, just as Paul calls husbands to be .
Here is a story about Scottish preacher Ian MacClaren and a conversation with a mother in his church. This story demonstrates both how home-makers often feel insecure about their ministry and yet how important it is.
As they were talking, she began to wipe her eyes with the corner of her apron, so Dr. MacClaren said, Whats disturbing you?
Oh, she said, Sometimes I feel I have done so little and when I think about it, it makes my heart heavy, because really Ive done so little for Jesus.
Wheres Luke? MacClaren said.
Bible Verses About Widows
A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows,Is God in His holy habitation.
The Lord protects the strangers He supports the fatherless and the widow,But He thwarts the way of the wicked.
The Lord will tear down the house of the proud,But He will establish the boundary of the widow.
Leave your orphans behind, I will keep them alive And let your widows trust in Me.
And He sat down opposite the treasury, and began observing how the people were putting money into the treasury and many rich people were putting in large sums.A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which amount to a cent.Calling His disciples to Him, He said to them, Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the contributors to the treasury read more.for they all put in out of their surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on.
And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury.And He saw a poor widow putting in two small copper coins.And He said, Truly I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all of them read more.for they all out of their surplus put into the offering but she out of her poverty put in all that she had to live on.
They slay the widow and the strangerAnd murder the orphans.
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