Polishing Rough Stones Into Gems
Shaw says the solution is simple. More parents need to be as parents of oldlike our parents and their parents before them. Most parents knew they were not around to be their childrens best friend. Their job was to nurture them with a firm hand. Sure, there would be friction, but friction is how you turn rough stones into polished gems. In Proverbs 29:17Proverbs 29:17Correct your son, and he shall give you rest yes, he shall give delight to your soul.American King James Version×,15 we read, Discipline your son, and he will give you peace… the rod and correction impacts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother .
Years ago, most parents knew kids needed a set of moral boundaries, and they should face the consequences when they stepped outside those boundaries. They knew kids needed chores. They needed set times for family dinner, for bedtime, for waking in the morning and preparing for school. They needed structure.
I remember living next door to a couple with two daughters about my own age of 12. These girls had to do the dishes on a regular basis, make their beds and do other chores, all under the watchful eye of loving parents. I envied my friends. I wondered why my parents were so lackadaisical in their approach and did not make me do things as my friends parents did. I equated the structure and discipline in their home to an act of love. And I wanted so desperately that kind of love.
Principles Underlying The Loving Of Our Enemies
The precepts about loving our enemies, which our Lord has given us in verses 27-30 are based upon principles. Beginning from the lowest level principle and ascending to the highest, Jesus gives us several governing principles in verses 31-38. Let us briefly consider these.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
This principle is based upon a fundamental premise, that of reciprocity. We tend to respond to others in kind. Those who love us, we love. Those who are kind to us, we are kind to. Those who are harsh with us, we tend to be harsh with. The golden rule teaches us that that given the human tendency toward reciprocity we should treat others in the same way that we want them to respond to us. If we want people to be kind and gracious toward us, we must be kind and gracious toward them.
There is nothing particularly noble about following this principle, since we serve our own best interest by being kind toward others. Kindness shown toward others tends to be reciprocated toward us. We gain from what we give. Much of the secular counsel in how to relate toward others is based upon the principle of the golden rule. It does not rise above the standard which unbelievers set for themselves.
Do good unto others when they have done evil against you.
Do unto others, without looking to men for your reward.
Do unto others as God has done unto you.
Do unto others in the same way you want God to do to you.
Lest we fail to grasp what this means, our Lord explains,
Why We Need The Bible
Throughout the Bible, there are countless accounts of men and women who faced challenging and downright hard times. David was chased and hunted down by a paranoid king. The book of Psalm gives a detailed blueprint of the emotional roller-coaster that was Davids life. His days were filed with great joy, sorrow, disappointment and shame.
Hannah, Samuels mother, was barren and desired child. To make matters worse, her husbands second wife, Peninnah, ridiculed her to the point where she wouldnt eat because she was childless.
Jesus, our beloved Savior and son of God, was no stranger to tough times. He died as an innocent man for the sins of the entire world. That means He died for me and you, for our past, present and future mistakes.
These stories were not included in the Bible just for us to read over and forget.
They are given to us as gifts and as reminders that we 1) are not alone and 2) the Lord is faithful in every situation.
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Navigating A Toxic Culture With Your Daughter
As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social mediaand many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism
The Balance Of Gentle Love And Tough Love
Are there examples of this type of tough love in the New Testament? Of course. Jesus called Peter Satan for being a mouthpiece for the devil . Lets keep in mind, however, that Jesus also highly commended Peter in the very same chapter just a handful of verses earlier . This shows balance Jesus didnt hesitate to commend peoples positive qualities, yet had no qualms about correcting folly or evil either. This is the equilibrium of gentle love and tough love. Another good example is Pauls open rebuke of Peter in front of others for his hypocrisy . Of course the most extreme example of tough love is when Jesus cleansed the temple of selfish, greedy riff-raff, which he did twice once at the beginning of his ministry and later near the end . Although it wasnt his normal every-day manner, Jesus threw over tables, scattered coins, cracked a whip, yelled and chased people & animals out, hardly the actions of a nice-guy doormat. And no one dared challenge him he was a holy terror, pure and simple. How do we explain these nigh shocking accounts? Doesnt the Bible say God is love ? Isnt Jesus one with the Father ? Absolutely, but some situations call for the softer side of love and some the hard side. We have to be led of the Spirit realizing that sometimes doing the good thing may not be the nice thing.
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What Tough Love Is
One of the most important truths about tough love is that its primarily about you not about the person doing wrong. Wait. What?! Isnt the goal of tough love to help someone else see the harm theyre causing and to change their behavior?
Yes. But the only way to use tough love wisely the only way tough love stands a chance of resulting in the healthy outcome you hope for is to get a handle on who you are. To become confident, strong, and aware of your boundaries, needs, and responsibilities.
Tough love IS about addressing truly harmful behavior.
Infidelity. Pornography. Substance abuse and addiction. Emotional, verbal, physical, spiritual, and sexual abuse. Violent anger. Dishonesty. Complete financial irresponsibility. Unwillingness to ever own up to mistakes or sins. These are some red flags that should never be ignored or negotiated in dating, marriage, parenting, or any other relationship. They must be dealt with, and tough love usually is the best path.
Now, were not saying you should put yourself on a pedestal if these arent sins you struggle with. What were saying is that you should be transparent and matter of fact about legitimate harm happening in your relationship.
Tough love IS about becoming self-confident.
Tough love IS about learning self-acceptance.
Tough love IS about being grounded.
Tough love IS about correctly understanding boundaries.
Tough love IS about knowing your boundaries and your responsibilities.
Tough love IS about becoming strong.
Identifying Triggers In Your Marriage
They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lias story, youll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!
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Sharing Your Faith With Grace And Purpose
You can confidently and lovingly share your faithyou just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the Columbo tactic of asking questions, the self-defeating argument tactic to find holes in your opponents arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.
Examples Of Tough Love In A Sentence
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These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word ‘tough love.’ Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback.
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Parables Explaining The Need For Loving Our Enemies
I would not go down fighting for the fact that all of these words are parables, but I do think that the one common factor is that of explaining why it is essential for Jesus followers to obey these commands. In simplest terms, Jesus is saying that it is necessary for His followers to march to the beat of a different drum, to live life by a higher standard, to have their practice be better than that of others, who are not His followers. Betterness is the unifying thought which undergirds these verses and gives a unity of thought. Let us briefly summarize the impact of each statement which our Lord makes here to see His reasons for betterness in living of His followers.
Guides of the blind need to see better than those they lead, v. 39. The first parable has to do with those who lead the blind. If the guide is as blind as the one he leads, both will get hurt. The guide for the blind must see better than the one he guides. Jesus came, He said, to give sight to the blind . This, I believe this involved more than the giving of physical sight . If Jesus followers are going to do as He did, their sight must be better than that of sinners.
Mothers And Sons: Being A Godly Influence
Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.
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The Spiritual Battle For Your Marriage
God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy Gods beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemys lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that theyre not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.
Friends Partners And Lovers: What It Takes To Make Your Marriage Work
Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another. Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest bookCherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.
Newest Release – Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope
Discover the amazing work our PRCs Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! Youll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! Youll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!
Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!
Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!
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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!
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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!
Financial Help How Much Is Too Much
One problematic area is that of finances. When parents help their children too much financially, they usually do so because they want to protect them. They forget how much they learned from their own financial struggles.
Helping adult children financially can drain parents of finances at a time when they need to start thinking about retirement. Parents should not help out if they cant afford to do so especially if they have to dip in to retirement savings. Of course, there are some exceptions. My brother became very ill in his twenties and was unable to work my parents took him in for a few years and I would do exactly the same for my children.
As a parent it makes sense to help with costs that contribute to a childs independence if you can. Perhaps you could help a child with a down payment on a car or a deposit for an apartment near to a place of work. You may want to give them money as a gift or assist them with a loan. If you loan money, its important to decide on a realistic repayment schedule and make sure they keep to it.
Dont ever just dish out money. Have a conversation first where you find out why they are battling financially, what changes they are willing to make and whether they have thought about how they will avoid such problems in the future.
Effective Habits To Embrace In Parenting
To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your childs life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rsrelationship, routines, responsibilities, and rulesyoull better understand the role you play in your childs life. Youll learn great phrases to employ such as Either/Or/You Decide and When You/Then You. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.
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Implementing Tough Love With Your Spouse
What should you do when your spouse is behaving in a harsh and insensitive manner toward you and does not respond to your requests for change? How should you respond when your mate daily demonstrates little or no respect for you or is verbally abusive? What should you do when your spouse is using drugs, alcohol, viewing pornography, or when an adulterous relationship is revealed? Should you do nothing and act like its not happening? Should you simply try to forgive and sweep it under the rug or should you respond by taking some action? Is there an effective way of responding to these kinds of circumstances? Yes! You should respond with tough love.
Many of you have probably heard the term tough love used in conversation. But, what does it mean to demonstrate tough love? What does tough love do? Can a Christian be tough and loving at the same time? The answer is yes.
How do you overcome the stumbling blocks that defeat you?
What is that path to victory that God has provided for you?
Pastor Steve addresses the specific issues we battle, those stumbling blocks that frustrate and defeat us over and over again.
Both Dr Phil And Dr Laura Advocate It Theres Even An Organizationtough Love Internationalto Help Parents Deal With Out
In The Epidemic: the Rot of American Culture, Robert Shaw, a practicing family psychiatrist and head of the Family Institute of Berkeley, California, writes, Far too many children today are sullen, unfriendly, distant, preoccupied… They whine, nag and throw tantrums and demand constant attention from their parents…
Shaw lists 15 ways to ruin your children and your life, which include give in to your childs whims… let your child think he is the boss of the universe… and dont supervise your childs friendships. In contrast, the antidote to the epidemic so many of us have witnessed is, Shaw writes, a strong bonding experience, a routine, disciplined environment, moral training and good old down time. He says his book is not a how-to book, but a what is necessary book.
One of Shaws best observations is, Todays parents seem to have absorbed the notion that a childs life should be totally serene, totally self-expressive and totally free from frustration. But creating an atmosphere that feels satisfactory to the child all the time does her a disservice.
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