What Should I Say To Two Believers Who Divorced Remarried And Are Now Aware Of What The Bible Says About Divorce
Divorce is rampant in the United States, and it is rampant among Christians and non-Christians alike. There are some instances where people have married not once or twice, but three, four, five, or six times. They have had a succession of mates, a succession of children, and a succession of problems.
God is on the side of people. He loves people, and He understands what has happened in such situations. But it is impossible for me to say that this conduct is all right. A minister of God must teach what is in the Bible yet the teaching must be tempered with the biblical understanding of God’s love. It is very difficult to make hard and fast rules.
Does one, for example, tell a three-times-divorced man to go back to his previous mate? What if the previous mate is now remarried? Is it right to ask the remarried couple to make a second divorce and break up a second home? The basic rule is that divorce and remarriage are not permitted, except for adultery or desertion, and that is the rule the church should stick to. Young people should be made aware that marriage is for life – for keeps – and not something to be entered into and then gotten out of whenever one feels like it.
Finally, in these complex personal matters I recommend prayer, study of the Bible, and that you counsel with a wise and godly pastor in you own community.
Christian Quotes About Divorce
Marriage is primarily the promise to persevere and to be present through any circumstance.
Divorce Myths: 1. When love has gone out a marriage, it is better to get divorced. 2. It is better for the children for the unhappy couple to divorce than to raise their children in the atmosphere of an unhappy marriage. 3. Divorce is the lesser of two evils. 4. You owe it to yourself. 5. Everyones entitled to one mistake. 6. God led me to this divorce. R.C. Sproul
When God stands as witness to the covenant promises of a marriage it becomes more than a merely human agreement. God is not a passive bystander at a wedding ceremony. In effect he says, I have seen this, I confirm it and I record it in heaven. And I bestow upon this covenant by My presence and My purpose the dignity of being an image of My own covenant with My wife, the church. John Piper
What makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in Gods eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and His covenant. Christ will never leave His wife. Ever. There may be times of painful distance and tragic backsliding on our part. But Christ keeps His covenant forever. Marriage is a display of that! That is the ultimate thing we can say about it. It puts the glory of Christs covenant-keeping love on display. John Piper
A marriage built on Christ is a marriage built to last.
Gods Purposes For Marriage
it tears at the very heart of Gods redemptive plan for the world
And He answered and said, Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.
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What About Physical Abuse
The Bible doesnt address the issue of physical abuse as a potential justification for divorce, but it does say a variety of things that will be helpful to any pastor, elder, counselor or friend giving counsel to an abused person. The first thing that should be said is that physical abuse is a sin. The Bible commands a Christian to: Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness .
Husbands are told: Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered .
The Bible commands all Christians to be gentle in their dealings with one another, and it tells husbands to be understanding towards their wives and to treat them with special honour. Therefore all forms of physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse would be forbidden.
Physical abuse is a sin and should be named as such by pastors, elders and counselors.
Its also worth noting that the Bible disqualifies abusive men from serving in leadership positions within the church. In 1 Timothy 3 Paul says:
If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.
It is also against the law.
But The Bible Doesnt Say That God Hates Divorce
That declaration is garnered from Malachi 2: 16 where it says:
the man who hates and divorces his wife does violence to the one he should protect
and in the KJV: the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment
and in the ESV: the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence,
The context here is not that God hates divorce but that hatred and sending a spouse away are acts of violence toward a spouse. Those are things that God hates.
Here are some other things that God hates :
How many of those characteristics describe the character of your husband? Not just his behavior, but his character his repeated, ongoing way of doing life.
We are all guilty of some of those at times, but godly people would never be described that way. Those descriptors have no part in godly character. So, if your husband is marked by those characteristics, this leads me to another Bible discourse that mentions divorce:
It brings into question whether someone is a believer and, if they are not, what is a spouse to do?
Many people point to this passage as a command to not separate, but to use the passage that way is to overlook Pauls concession for separation when he says that a wife should not separate: he says but if she does . . .
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What The Bible Teaches About Divorce And Remarriage
There are few issues that require more pastoral sensitivity than the issue of divorce and remarriage. Getting it wrong one way can have massive consequences, particularly for women who feel trapped in abusive and unsafe relationships. Getting it wrong the other way can bring shame and infamy upon the name of Christ. Pastors and elders therefore have a responsibility to know what the Bible says and to teach, counsel, lead, correct and discipline their people accordingly.
What Is Gods View Of Divorce
The passages in the New Testament that address this issue are Matthew 5:31-32 19:1-12 Mark 10:1-12 Luke 16:18 1 Corinthians 7:10-16 and Deuteronomy 24:1-4 in the Old Testament is important background. This is quite a tricky question to answer because of the brevity of the comment in Deuteronomy , because of cultural understandings of divorce in the New Testament period, and also because only Matthew out of all the gospel writers includes the exception clause . Therefore, Christians do have different views on this issue .
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Bible Verses About Divorce: 22 Helpful Scriptures
I always found it interesting that one of the first things God was concerned about after creation was that we were not in life alone. In Genesis 2:18, God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him. So in addition to creating the heavens and the earth and all the animals and finally man God created for the man and the woman. This early picture in the garden shows how much God loves and cares for us. Unfortunately, the fall of man was right around the corner in Genesis 3. Things would never be the same. One area where we can clearly see the effects of sin is in the marriage relationship. Divorce is very common today even to people that go to church and are believing Christians. The topic of divorce has many passages that we can look to for answers about when divorce is allowed, what happens when a spouse dies, and even what did Jesus have to say about divorce while he was here on this earth. If you are reading this article you have probably been affected by divorce either by your own personal divorce or by the divorce of someone close to you. Consider these verses
Bible Quotes Containing Word Divorce
Deuteronomy 22:19and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the father of the young woman, because he has brought a bad name upon a virgin of Israel. And she shall be his wife. He may not divorce her all his days.
Deuteronomy 22:29then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.
Jeremiah 3:1If a man divorces his wife and she goes from him and becomes another mans wife, will he return to her?
Malachi 2:16For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.
Matthew 1:19And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.
And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?
1Corinthians 7:11 , and the husband should not divorce his wife.
Matthew 5:31 It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.
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God Can Heal Your Marriage
You may think your marriage is irretrievably broken, but our God is a God of miracles! When you put God in the dead center of your own life and the center of your marriage, healing will come. When you are walking in step with the Holy Spirit, you are able to live graciously, lovingly, and in forgiveness. When the two of you are worshipping and praying together in your home, regularly, as well as in church you will be astounded by what happens to your relationship. God will breathe His grace over your marriage in unimaginable ways.
God will heal your marriage when you come in line with Gods definition of love, which means getting yourself out of the way and realizing the two of you are one. True love is not selfish, self-seeking, jealous, or easily offended. True love is patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful.
52. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
53. 1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.
54. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one.
55. Psalm 56:3 But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.
56. Romans 12:12 Rejoicing in hope patient in tribulation continuing instant in prayer.
The Three Views On Divorce & Remarriage
With divorce being as common as it is in our day and age, remarriage is also something that is common because of divorce.
With both of these being situations, we will encounter during our lives whether firsthand, by a friend, or a family member due to the high divorce rate.
We must ensure that we are aware of the three different views of divorce and remarriage so that we are appropriately applying what the Bible says regarding divorce and remarriage.
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Is Cruelty Grounds For Divorce
It depends. I do not think mental cruelty is grounds for divorce if mental cruelty concerns the way a mate twists the toothpaste tube or hangs stockings in the bathroom. That type of mental cruelty has been defined in so many different contexts it has no meaning.
However, I do think physical brutality and abuse, and mental abuse of a nature that endangers the person’s mind or body, are clearly grounds for divorce. The Pauline privilege, which I mentioned earlier, permits divorce on the grounds of desertion by an unbelieving spouse. For mental cruelty to be grounds for divorce, it must involve conduct which makes it impossible to live with the spouse without endangering oneself.
The sort of cruelty I have in mind would not spring from a criticism of a souffle or a brother-in-law. Minor irritations need loving attention, but should not be allowed to rupture a holy relationship.
Obviously, a couple composed of two born-again Christians does not fall under the Pauline privilege. Divorce and remarriage for any reason are truly unthinkable for two people who sincerely love God and are trying to serve Him.
Scripture references are taken form the New American Standard translation of the Bible.
Excerpt taken from Answers to 200 of Life’s Most Probing Questions, Copyright 1984 by Pat Robertson.
Thoughts If Youre Considering Divorce
1. Trust the Lord, dont trust yourself. Relationships can cause hurt, and hurt people find it hard to think straight. God knows all, sees all, and works everything together for your good. Trust in the Lord and what He says in his Word.
2. Realize that the answer to suffering is not always to move away from it. God sometimes calls us to follow Him by walking into or remaining under suffering.
3. Contemplate that God is accomplishing a purpose in your sufferings.
4. Wait on the Lord. Dont act hastily. Keep doors open. Only close the doors that you are certain God says you should close.
5. Dont just trust that God can change someone elses heart. Trust that He can change and renew your heart.
6. Meditate on Scripture related to the issue of marriage, separation, and divorce.
7. Whatever actions you consider taking, ask whether you can take that action for the glory of God.
-7 Thoughts If Youre Considering Divorce excerpted from 11 Important Thoughts for Those Considering Divorce by Randy Alcorn on Crosswalk.com
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Fight For Your Marriage
Remember, Satan hates marriage because it is an illustration of Christ and the church. He and his demons work overtime to destroy marriage. You need to be aware of this and on the alert for his attacks on your marriage. Refuse to allow him to drive a wedge in your relationship. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
When self or your sin nature is running the show, marital discord is inevitable. But when youre operating in the Spirit, conflicts are quickly resolved, youre less likely to offend or be offended, and you are quick to forgive.
Establish a daily family altar time where you read and discuss the Scripture, and worship, sing, and pray together. When you are spiritually intimate, everything else falls into place.
Practice successful conflict management. Learn to agreeably disagree. Learn to peacefully discuss your problems without exploding in anger, getting defensive, or turning it into a confrontation.
Its okay to ask for help! Seek wise counselors your pastor, a Christian marriage therapist, an older happily-married couple. Theyve probably worked through the same issues youre facing and can give you helpful counsel.
57. 2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed perplexed, but not in despair persecuted, but not abandoned struck down, but not destroyed.
58. Psalm 147:3 The Lord heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
What Does The Bible Say About Divorce & Remarriage
If your opinion about anything contradicts Gods Word, guess which one is wrong? Rick Warren
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
What does the Bible say about marriage? Marriage is created by God as lifelong institution between a man and a woman, rooted in creation, with a significance that shows in its comparison to Christs relationship with the church . Today marriage is often defined by the emerging trends, understandings, feelings, and opinions of the culture rather than the transcendent, immutable, and eternal truth found described by the God who created it. This change in understanding and practice has led to an overwhelming amount of marriages ending in divorce and resulting in remarriage. Although many sociological, psychological, economic, emotional, and man-centered rationales may be created to explain and justify the practice of divorce and remarriage, the Christian perspective and practice must be rooted in a balanced and holistic application of biblical theology.
What the Bible say about remarriage after the death of a spouse? God clearly permits remarriage after the death of a spouse and actually encourages remarriage for younger widows . The only qualification for the remarriage of a widow is that the new spouse must be a Christian .
What about my happiness? How can I be happy if I am divorced and never remarried?
How can I resist lust if I am divorced and not remarried?
SCRIPTURES ON DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE
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