Reasons God Will Fight To Save Your Marriage
Is your marriage crumbling right before your eyes? Perhaps, you believe you just cant take it any longer. You hear God say, If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes. In desperation, you may respond, Lord, I believe help my unbelief!
Whatever the marital situation, no matter the problem, God is for you. It may appear hopeless, but there is good news. Our God is a Mighty Warrior. He is a jealous God. Hes forever present. He, Himself, loves unity and prayed for it. In this four-part series, lets unpack the following four reasons God will fight for your marriage.
- Reason #1: The Battle is Not Yours, But Gods
- Reason #2: What God Has Joined, He Can Keep
- Reason #3: He Hates Divorce with a Passion
- Reason #4: Marriage is Typical
We will also review some significant ways to engage Him in battle. So, lets get started!
Keep Your Own Heart Open
More than simply practicing positive thinking, you need to rededicate yourself to your marriage relationship. Decide that divorce isnt an option for you dont say the word, dont consider it as an option, dont attempt to justify it.
Forgive your spouse for any offense you may hold against him or her. Forgiveness is not easy, and it doesnt mean forgetting. But it is an intentional decision that will be healthy for you and for your marriage.
Establish accountability for keeping your heart open. You need support and encouragement from same-sex friends, family, a counselor, a mentor or a pastor people who support your choice to fight for your marriage. Even Moses needed help and support : But Moses hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun . Surround yourself with people who want to help you fight for your marriage.
As you and your spouse work to tear down emotional walls between each other, you can experience freshness in your relationship that can lead to deeper understanding, appreciation and commitment.
Scripture For A Troubled Marriage
7. 1 Corinthians 8:1 says, Now about food sacrificed to idols: We know that We all possess knowledge. But knowledge puffs up while love builds up.
Knowledge focuses on winning, being right, and ultimately on you. Love builds up the people in your life. When our is facing trouble we need to step back from winning in our conversations and focus on showing love in our interactions.
We have nothing if we dont have love. How many hours of arguments would be saved if we could catch what Paul is trying to show us! When we live with love, our relationships come first and our opinions come last.
8. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says, We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.
The battle for a joy-filled marriage starts in the mind. The state of our marriage frequently reflects how well we know our God. When we are living a spirit-filled life, it is then we can more easily see when our attitudes or thoughts dont align with the instructions of Christ.
In order to find joy in our relationship we have to be dialed into the Holy Spirit. We must allow the Spirit to convict us when our thoughts dont align with the truth of Gods word for our marriage.
Paul tells us we have to actually teach our thoughts to obey Christ. We cannot be passive about whats going on in our minds. The way we win joy for our marriages is by training our minds to expect it.
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Principle #3 Give Your Spouse Permission To Bring Others In
Now this may seem like it goes against principle #2, but this one only happens when you have tried to talk to your spouse and they aren’t hearing you or you can’t come to an agreement. But the key here is to wisely select who you bring in. Now is not the time to grab that girlfriend who never liked your husband. Now is the time to seek Godly council from friends who have your marriage and God’s word in their best interest. Which leads us to the final principle.
Bible Verses To Encourage Your Marriage
Today I want to share a few Bible verses to encourage and strengthen your marriage.
The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work
Your marriage will flourish when you know and apply what God says concerning you and your man.
So I pray these verses challenge and equip you for every good work in your marriage!
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Meet Your Spouses Most Important Emotional Needs
As human beings, we are incredibly intricate with a complexity of emotional needs that must be satisfied. These needs include our needs for attention, respect, appreciation, approval, sexual fulfillment, support, comfort, security, etc., and determine our sense of emotional well-being. In marriage, our emotional needs were meant to be met both by our relationship with God and through our relationship with our spouse. Thats precisely what God intended marriage to be a committed, intimate, relationship that provides a supply of love to meet one anothers most important emotional needs. To build a satisfying and lasting marriage, you and your mate must commit to meeting each others physical and emotional needs.
Whats important to your spouse is probably different than whats important to you. People feel loved in different ways. Sharing feelings, showing appreciation, spending special time together, affection, sex, thoughtful gifts, and sharing activities are a few examples. Know your spouses love language and be sure to use it often.
Selfishness and love do not mix. Philippians 2:3-4 says, Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
How Should Husbands Treat Their Wives
The Bible is full of advice on how husbands should treat their wivesessentially, with love and respect.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Things God Will Not Do In Your Marriage
April 17, 2016 by
I think most people who live on this earth as Christians desire to conduct their marriages according to the principles set forth by God, and I think thats great. The Bible is full of instructions and guidelines to help point you in the right direction for a happy, Holy union. The question is, though, do we always get it right?
Absolutely not. As fallible humans we will fall short, and God gets that. The goal for wives is to strive to be a Proberbs 31 woman, or for husbands to treat your wife as Christ treats the church. We all need practice, and thats fine. But there are some instances that just absolutely go against scripture. These things we must not do if we really want a marriage that honors the Lord.
Its easy when you fall to call it Gods will, or to imagine Gods hand at work in your life when you crumple under sin. There are some things, no matter how much God loves you and directs your life, that you cannot do in His name.
Although the Lord has power over your life He will not do these things in your marriage.
1. God will not lead you to adultery. So say youre unhappy in your marriage. Then suddenly you meet this nice fella at work. Hes a wonderful Christian, a great listener, and really seems to care about your feelings. Unlike your husband.
No. No, no, no.
But does God lead you away from your spouse? No. Never. Thats not God. Im sorry.
Let me clarify.
We pray, God, make my husband be more attentive to me.
Notice me more.
A Marriage Should Not Be Broken
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.-Matthew 9:6
One of the easiest things to say is, I quit. Its so easy to do because you dont even have to work to do it. Unfortunately, in marriage, a lot of couples quit because its easier than fixing the problems that are already there. Having a successful marriage takes a lot of time and effort and its never easy. But, the Bible clearly states that once youre married, youre no longer two, but one and what God has joined together should not be separated.
While it may be easier to call it quits in your marriage, it isnt the Biblically correct thing to do. In fact, the only time its okay in Gods eyes to end a marriage is through death or if one partner cheats.
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Selfishness Will Damage Your Marriage
Selfishness takes many forms. As I said, selfishness is the root cause of anger. A selfish husband insists that he is right and he wont listen to or yield to any other views. He does not think about his wifes needs or how she may feel, but only thinks about his needs and how he feels. He will buy whatever he wants for himself, but deny his wife the same privilege. He will spend time with his friends when he feels like it, but not let his wife spend time with her friends, because he wants her to be available to meet his needs. Martyn Lloyd-Jones states,
The real cause of failure, ultimately, in marriage is always self, and the various manifestations of self. Of course that is the cause of trouble everywhere and in every realm. Self and selfishness are the greatest disrupting forces in the world.
Jesus said that to follow Him we must deny self and put it to death on a daily basis : If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me. The second greatest commandment is that I love my neighbor as much as I do in fact love myself. My wife is my closest neighbor. To love her requires killing my selfishness every day.
Important Bible Verses About Marriage And Sex
In movies, books, and on TV, sex and even marriage are often depicted as a daily means of consumption. The selfish message that is often told is purely about pleasure and a just make you happy mentality. But as Christian, we want to live differently. We want to dedicate ourselves to an honest relationship full of love. So, what exactly does the Bible say about marriage and just as important about sex. Jack Wellman from Patheos gives us seven relevant vital verses.
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Realize How Unsafe You Have Been
Though you are not responsible for your spouses emotions, acknowledging your role in the deterioration of the relationship is an important part in the healing process. You can also do the work necessary to understand whats driving your need to break through your husbands or wifes emotional walls. Consider meeting with a counselor to work on any emotional walls youve put up, such as the fear of being alone, failing in marriage or resentment.
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D Loverequires Giving & Self
Giving of self is the essence of love.
John 3:16 – God so loved the world that He gave Hisonly-begotten Son.
Ephesians 5:25 – Jesus loved the church and gave Himselffor it.
1 John 3:14-18 – If you see your brother in need and don’t givewhat is needed, you don’t have love.
Romans 12:20 – Loving you enemy requires giving foodand drink when needed.
A basic requirement in solving family disagreements is awillingness to give of ourselves for the good of others.
Typically each spouse refuses to change because he/she isupset at something the other person did. If we would view thesituation honestly and objectively , we would admit we should do differently. But we refuseto change because of some habit or characteristic we dislike inour spouse.
The fundamental lesson of Christ’s love is that weshould give up our own desires for the good of others even whenthey are not acting the way we think they should. Don’tsay, “I’ll change if he/she will too.” If an act isgood for others, do it regardless of what they aredoing. If we have been wrong, admit it regardlessof whether or not they have admitted their errors.
A spouse will often criticize: “It’s his/her fault, solet him/her solve it.” Even if that is true, is it helpful?Instead think, “What can I offer to do – how can I becomeinvolved – so as to help resolve this problem?” Instead ofsaying, “Why don’t you do this?” say, “Why don’tyou and I work on this together?”
Acompromise And Overlook Differences Of Viewpoint Where Possible
1 Corinthians 13:4f – Love suffers long and is kind. Love isnot selfish.
Every couple will find in one another characteristics that wewould like to change but cannot. Sin must not be overlooked, butif there is no sin and the person just does things we don’tlike, then love will not push personal desires tothe point of alienation. Learn to overlook these matters withoutbitterness.
Romans 14 – Even some spiritual decisions are matters ofpersonal opinion, not matters of sin. If you cannot prove yourspouse has committed sin, do not imply he/she has been guilty.
James 3:14-18 Matthew 5:9 Romans 12:17-21 1 Peter 3:11 -Sincerely seek a peaceable resolution to the problem. We shouldwant the conflict to end, even if we have to give up our owndesires to achieve it.
In some matters, there may be give and take – compromise. Aslong as no Bible conviction is violated, seek a middle-groundsolution. “I’ll give in here, if you’ll give in there.”Or, “Let’s do it your way this time, and then next timewe’ll do it my way.”
Remember to consider ways you can become involvedand help your spouse do a job better, instead of just sittingback and criticizing. Perhaps, in some matter, you will end upeach going separate ways and doing separate things.
However, if one has been guilty of sin, then another approachmust be taken.
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What Does The Bible Say About Neglecting Your Wife
Is my husband neglecting me?
Women often wonder if theyre being neglected by their spouse, or if theyre just imaging things. Since women are often told theyre too sensitive or too emotional, it can be difficult to trust our instincts and recognize when a dynamic of our relationship isnt right. After all, we dont want to come across as needy, or anything else that has been deemed negative in our culture. But at the same time, we desire the love and respect that ideally should be shared between spouses.
Great Christian Quotes About Marriage Christianquotes
Poor Communication Will Damage Your Marriage
Poor communication is one of the most prevalent causes of marital problems. It can take many different forms. In Ephesians 4:15, Paul says, but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ. As the head, Christ is to be the Lord of all our communication. Before you speak, ask yourself, Will my words be pleasing to the Lord Jesus Christ? And, Are my words both truthful and loving, with the aim of building up my mate in Christ? To blast your mate because thats just how I feel, may be truthful, but its not loving. To be dishonest about how you feel or not to say anything to avoid conflict may seem loving, but its not truthful, and will lead to long term distance in the relationship. For sake of time, I cant say more here, but on the church website is a one-page resource, Some Biblical Principles for Communication.
Why Does God Care About A Wifes Godliness
God cares about a wifes godliness because he cares about her as a whole person. He cares for the internal heartaches, hidden dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. He wants to not only save us from a life separated from him but also to sanctify us so that we reflect him to those around us, including our husband and children. Another reason God cares about a wifes godliness is because marriage is an echo of Christs relationship with the church. He cares for the body of believers, he desires unity in the church, and he laid down his life for it. As Paul states, the marriage between a man and woman as an illustration of Christ and the church is a mystery, but he still attempts to explain it by stating that each party gives up something for the other.
Becoming godly is a lifelong process that interlaces with all our roles, including our role as wives. It is one that we pursue with fervor and determination. It informs our decisions on how to respond to those in our lives. As a wife, allowing God to change us into godly reflections of him, causes us to influence our homes in positive ways.