The Sanctity Of Marriage Still Applies Today
Brother Mark: But Brother Andrew, some of our viewers might be wondering and arguing that the law of God forbidding divorce was only implemented during the ancient times. So, about in our time in the Christian Era? Brother Andrew, does the prohibition of divorce still apply?
Brother Andrew: Yes it does, Brother Mark, and we can read the answer here in the Book of Matthew 19:3-6:
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?
Havent you read, he replied, that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
Brother Andrew: So, it is clear from what we have read, dear viewers, what our Lord Jesus Christ teaches concerning married couples who are made one, or joined together in holy matrimony. Christ said what God has joined together, let man not separate.
What God has joined together, man must not separate
Brother Mark: Therefore, dear viewers, when married couples inside the Church Of Christ separate, or divorce each other, its not a small thing. In the eyes of our Almighty God theyre violating His divine will.
Now, when we come back, we will answer the following question: Will one who divorces his or her spouse, and marries someone else, be saved?
Positive Things To Do After Divorce
1. Manage Conflict with PeaceJesus is a great example for how to conduct ourselves in the face of conflict. He kept himself calm by knowing God was still in control even as His enemies were attacking. He spoke out to His disciples sharing that He knew they were going to betray Him but He left the consequences of these actions in Gods hands. You cannot control how your spouse behaves during or after the divorce, but you can control how you act and treat other people. Treat them with the respect they deserve as the parent of your child, or at least as a fellow human being even if theyre acting like some sort of alien from outer space.
3. Challenge the Lonely Feelings with Benevolence While Single and HealingFeeling lonely after divorce is a real concern of many of the women I speak to. It seems to be the biggest struggle that Christian women face while working on healing. When the divorce wasnt wanted in the first place, feeling lonely seems to be an added consequence to an already mounting list. But we learn in the Bible that singleness is a gift from God. It may be hard to see it as such when youre feeling so much pain and loss. But its often an invitation to seek a relationship with the One who knows how to cure the pain and fill the void.
The Meaning Of Any Cause Divorce
This was a shocking statement for the crowd and for the disciples. It meant they couldnt get a divorce whenever they wanted itthere had to be a lawful cause. It also meant that virtually every divorced man or women was not really divorced, because most of them had any cause divorces. Luke and Matthew summarized the whole debate in one sentence: Any divorced person who remarried was committing adultery , because they were still married. The fact that they said any divorced person instead of virtually all divorced people is typical Jewish hyperbolelike Mark saying that everyone in Jerusalem came to be baptized by John . It may not be obvious to us, but their first readers understood clearly what they meant.
Within a few decades, however, no one understood these terms any more. Language often changes quickly . The early church, and even Jewish rabbis, forgot what the any cause divorce was, because soon after the days of Jesus, it became the only type of divorce on offer. It was simply called divorce. This meant that when Jesus condemned divorce for any cause, later generations thought he meant divorce for any cause.
Summary Of Jesus Teaching
- Remarriage after divorce is only permitted if the divorce was the result of fornication .
- If divorce took place for any other reason, then a subsequent remarriage would be an adulterous relationship. This applied to:
- the innocent man who married her
- the woman who divorced her husband, if she remarried
The Apostle Paul Allowed Divorce For Abandonment
1 Corinthians 7:14-15
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband for otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. Yet if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances God has called us to live in peace.
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Biblical Reasons For Divorce
There are two accepted reasons stated for divorce in the Bible: unfaithfulness or immorality and desertion.
The word unfaithful in Hebrew is:
Unfaithfulness isnt just about adultery. An abusive husband is unfaithful to the sacred holy covenant of marriage he made with his wife before God the minute he begins abusing her. He promised to love, respect, and honor her.
A husbands sinful acts of domestic abuse and criminal violence is a treacherous act and a trespass against his wife. Abuse and violence is NEVER love, respect, or honor. His sinful abusive behaviors break his holy promise of faithfulness not the victims courage to tell the truth and make him accountable or her choice to stop the abuse through a separation or divorce. The victim is not the unfaithful spouse, the unfaithful spouse is the abuser.
The Hebrew meaning for the word desertion in the King James dictionary is to forsake to leave utterly to abandon, and to quit loving or serving.
Desertion isnt just the absence of a person. Desertion covers loving your spouse like Christ, physical, emotional, mental, financial, sexual, and spiritual actions in a marriage. Even if an abusive husband is living at home, his abuse has created desertion through his words and actions by bringing fear, pain, being unloving, and abandonment from the abuse.
Can A Rightly Divorced Person Remarry
When the Bible permits divorce, it is so that the wronged or abandoned party may remarry. Thats what a certificate of divorce is. Therefore, in any case where a divorce is biblically permissible, it is by definition also permissible for the wronged or abandoned party to remarry. In Matthew 5:31-32 Jesus says:
It was also said, Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Here Jesus is simply saying that if a divorce is not legitimate, then the remarriage is not legitimate. If the divorce is legitimate , then the remarriage is legitimate.
Similarly the Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that if the unbelieving spouse does not want to stay in the marriage and does not want to live with an active and obvious Christian, then the believer should let them go. In such cases the believer is not bound that is to say they are free to remarry. The Pillar Commentary on 1 Corinthians 7 makes that point clearly:
Not bound here refers to freedom to remarry. Instone-Brewer explains: The only freedom that makes any sense in this context is the freedom to remarry ll Jewish divorce certificates and most Greco-Roman ones contained the words you are free to marry any man you wish, or something very similar.
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Lasting Damage Of Divorce
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says,
Parents should be alert to signs of distress in their child or children. Young children may react to divorce by becoming more aggressive and uncooperative or by withdrawing. Older children may feel deep sadness and loss. Their schoolwork may suffer and behavior problems are common. As teenagers and adults, children of divorce can have trouble with their own relationships and experience problems with self-esteem.6
We must make an effort each and every day to keep our marriages strong and not let them drift toward divorce. We must put aside our anger, forgive our spouse a million times over, always be faithful, subdue our pride and ego, and always let true Christian love guide our actions. Professional counseling may help resolve marital problems before the relationship deteriorates beyond repair.
Is It Okay For A Couple To Be Separated But Still Legally Married
In Biblical times, couples were temporarily apart due to military service ” rel=”nofollow”> 2 Samuel 11:6-11) or family visits ” rel=”nofollow”> Luke 1:39-40, ). Jesus’ apostles were likely away from their wives for at least part of the time they were serving Jesus ” rel=”nofollow”> 1 Corinthians 9:5, ). Similarly couples of today may have to be temporarily apart because of family situations, jobs or military service.
However, if a couple separates because of marital problems, they are no longer living according to the Biblical model of marriage ” rel=”nofollow”> Genesis 2:24, , , , ).
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Dating And Choosing A Spouse
The Israelites were prohibited from intermarrying with the pagan peoples who surrounded them ” rel=”nofollow”> Deuteronomy 7:1-4), and the apostle Paul advised Christians to marry only other believers ” rel=”nofollow”> 1 Corinthians 7:39, ). However, an already married Christian should not divorce a nonbelieving spouse ” rel=”nofollow”> 1 Corinthians 7:12-16).
There is no indication in the Bible that we are predestined to marry a certain person or that there is one special person or “soul mate” that we should find and marry. Except for the preference to marry another Christian, we are free to marry whomever we wish ” rel=”nofollow”> 1 Corinthians 7:39).
Loving Your Spouse Through The Seasons Of Marriage
Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons spring , summer , fall , and winter . In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.
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Is It A Sin To Marry After Divorce
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is put away committeth adultery.
They said unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
These verses can be somewhat confusing in many English translations, especially when compared to the verse cited about Moses, which seems to provide tremendous leeway for divorce. The confusion comes from the Greek word for “put away,” which is sometimes indiscriminately translated as “divorce.” But it literally just means “send away” or “separated.” It has no bearing on whether or not someone is legally and Scripturally divorced through the “writing of divorcement,” which were essentially just ancient divorce papers.
Mr And Mrs Guy And Amber Lia And Mrs Jean Daly
Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,
The Law Of Moses Commanded Divorce For Neglect/abuse
The Law of Moses actually commanded divorce for breaking any of the three marriage vows in Exodus 21:10: food, clothing, and “marital rights,” which can be defined as love, as we read in the New Testament passages earlier.
If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish food, her clothing, or her marital rights. And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.
In the Book of Exodus, if a man took a second wife, it was against Gods command to reduce the first wifes food, clothing, or marital rights . He was not allowed to demote her to slave status. If he was unwilling to treat her as a wife, he had to let her go so she could marry someone who would treat her properly. This is the first time that the Bible commands divorce.
The same was true for a prisoner-of-war wife who was captured during a battle. If a man took a captive as his wife, he had to do her the honor of letting her mourn before sleeping with her. As his wife, she must be treated properly, not just raped.
The Law of Moses required divorce in cases where a man reduced his wife to a slave or tried to sell her. He had to let her go and give her the freedom to marry someone else. The husband could not treat this woman any way he wanted. She was either a wife with rights, or she had to be set free. This is the second time the Bible commands divorce.
Jesus Specifically Allowed Divorce For Infidelity
Matthew 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.
Note that Jesus does not say this is the only reason for divorce. We find other reasons for divorce in Scripture. For a quick 7-minute video explanation by Rev. Dr. David Instone-Brewer of Cambridge, see this.
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The Only Biblically Legitimate Reason For Divorce Is Adultery
The only legitimate reason given in the Bible for divorce is if one of them is indecent, in other words committing adultery or being unfaithful.
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
What Is The Bibles Instruction If A Couple Is Separated
Brother Andrew: But, Brother Mark, what if theyre already separated? What is the instruction then?
Brother Mark: Lets continue reading, Brother Andrew and dear viewers in verse 11:
But if a wife does leave, she should remain single or get back together with her husband. And a husband should not divorce his wife.
Brother Mark: And so, dear friends, what is the strict instruction to everyone who, for whatever reason, is separated from his or her spouse? The Bible says he or she should stay single or not marry again.
Couples who have separated should stay single and not remarry
Brother Mark: But what is the best solution so that married couples will not fall into temptation and further displease God?
Reconciliation of husband and wife is the best solution
Brother Mark: They should reconcile with their spouse. Gods law forbids them to be married to someone else aside from their living spouse. And so members of the Church Of Christ are very fortunate, because before a couple gets married, they undergo marriage seminars so that both the would-be husband and the would-be wife will understand first the laws of God that govern married life.
Message of the Day : God does not allow divorce
Brother Andrew: Married couples should not use marital problems as a reason to divorce, rather they should resolve their conflicts so that they can honor the sanctity of .
Message of the Day
Conflicts should be resolved to preserve and honor the sanctity of marriage
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I Remarried After Divorce Should I Divorce Or Separate From My New Spouse Should I Go Back To My First Spouse
To the married I give this commandnot I but the Lordthat the wife should not separate from her husband , and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
However, Paul was writing about the case where a couple has separated but have not divorced and remarried. The additional sin of another divorce and the emotional pain caused to the current spouse and others involved would violate other Bible principles. In most cases, the first marriage could not be restored. When these factors are considered, intentionally breaking up a second marriage seems like an unworkable and unwise choice.
The Biblical Grounds For Divorce:
Based on the passages above, we can say with confidence that a believer may initiate divorce in the following cases:
1. Her husband has committed adultery with another mans wife.2. Her husband has had homosexual sex with a man.3. Her husband has had sex with an animal.4. Her husband has had sex with a relative.5. Her husband no longer wishes to be married to her because of her Christian faith.
In any of the five above cases the believer may pursue a divorce.
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