The Bible Speaks In A Positive Manner Regarding Oral Sex
After I show you this next passage of the Bible, you will never look at a tree, especially an apple tree, the same again.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Song of Solomon 2:3
In ancient middle eastern poetry, the apple tree was a euphemism for a mans genitals. Consider the parts of the tree in the image below and how they correlate to a mans genitals.
The image that the woman sitting under his shadow portrays is that of a man standing over top of his wife with his shadow over her and her down below him performing Fellatio which is oral sex performed on a man and is commonly referred to today as a blow job. The Scriptures tell us she did this with great delight or in other words with enthusiasm and desire. What is the fruit of his tree? It is his semen. The woman says of her husbands semen that it was sweet to my taste.
But what about oral sex on a woman? Again, the Bible speaks to this as well. And just as I warned you with the apple tree, you will no longer look at a cluster of grapes or a pomegranate the same ever again after reading the next few Scripture passages.
This picture being presented above is that of a man wanting to see his wifes breasts and genitals becoming aroused with grapes representing her breasts and pomegranates representing her genitals.
Private Photos Videos And Sexting
Note we are discussing the private use of cameras or video cams. Since there is no prohibition of seeing each other naked, there would seem to be no prohibition of seeing pictures of each other naked. However, there are issues to consider. While there are places which will develop such pictures, this means letting others see them. Video cameras, Polaroid cameras, and digital cameras on the other hand allow you to take and view pictures without anyone else seeing them. Then the issue is making sure the pictures stay private. If you have anyone in your house that is able to turn a doorknob, lock up or encrypt any pictures and videos.
Sexting sending sexual pictures by phone, would fall into the same category and would need to follow the same restrictions. If your phone is not password protected, are any sexual images of you and your spouse somehow protected or hidden should someone find your phone?
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Flee From Sexual Immorality
A faithful man named Joseph struggled to stay morally clean. ReadGenesis 39:1-12, and then discuss these questions:
What motivated Joseph to flee?See verse 9.
Do you think that Joseph made the right decision? Why?
How can young people imitate Joseph and flee from sexual immorality today? Play the VIDEO.
Jehovah wants all of us to reject immorality. Read1 Corinthians 6:18, and then discuss these questions:
What situations could lead someone to commit sexual immorality?
How can you flee from immorality?
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Is Oral Sex Considered The Same As Premarital Sex
You may have heard that oral sex isn’t really sex and therefore doesn’t “count” as a sexual sin. But Ephesians 5:3 tells us, “…among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity…because these are improper for God’s holy people.” The definition of “immorality” here refers to sexual contact outside the context of marriage .
Hebrews 13:4 tells us to keep the marriage bed pure and undefiledthat is, we need to save our sexual acts for AFTER marriage. Period. So, yes, oral sex is still considered premarital sex and a sin.
What Is Sexual Immorality
The Bible tells us that those who are sexually immoral . . . will not inherit Gods Kingdom. Bible writers who wrote in Greek used the word por·neia to describe sexual immorality. That word includes sexual relations * between people who are not married to each other, homosexuality, and bestiality. We please Jehovah and benefit ourselves when we abstain from sexual immorality.1 Thessalonians 4:3.
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Abstaining From Sexual Immorality
We also see sexual immorality a lot in the Bible. But what does sexual immorality really mean?
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God – 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.” – Colossians 3: 5-6
God tells us to flee from sexual sin & to abstain from sexual immorality.
Sexual immorality comes from the Greek word porneia, which means any sexual activity outside of marriage, illicit sexual activity or fornification.
So while God does not explicitly say we are to refrain from sex outside of marriage, he makes it clear in the Bible that we are to abstain from sexual immorality, which includes sex before marriage as well as other sexual activity that would be considered sexual sin.
God Created Sex To Be Enjoyed In Marriage Its A Good Thing
We also see in the Bible that God created sex to be enjoyed in marriage its a gift and God intended for sex to be a beautiful, passionate experience between a husband and wife.
Christian sex can sometimes be perceived as dirty or wrong, but we see in Song of Songs & in Proverbs that there is no shame in enjoying passionate & pleasurable sex. And that there should be no shame in Christians having sex.
“How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride! How much more pleasing is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your perfume more than any spice!” “You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. Song of Songs Chapter 4
Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth. A loving deer, a graceful doe let her breasts always satisfy you be lost in her love forever. – Proverbs 5:18-19
So, we see in the Bible that God created sex to be a beautiful and passionate experience between a husband and wife.
We even see in other scriptures how God is emphasizing how important sex is between a husband and wife. He knows how powerful sex is and how important it is for a couple to continue to enjoy sex in marriage.
Sex is a good thing and should be enjoyed as a passionate experience in marriage!
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Is Oral Sex Unkind
Which leads to the last question: Is it unkind? Now I think this one is probably the one that touches the rawest nerve and the one that has the greatest impact. Will you pressure your spouse for oral sex if he or she finds it unpleasant? If so, then you are unkind, and it is a sin to be unkind. Ephesians 4:32 says, Be kind to one another. But the key word here is pressure.
I know that 1 Corinthians 7:4 says, The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. And the context there is sex. So what does that mean, practically? It means that both the husband and the wife have the right to say to the other, I would like to . And both of them have the right to say, I would rather not . And in a good marriage, the biblically beautiful marriage, both of them seek to outdo the other in showing kindness.
So those are my principles, Tony, that would guide the Christian couple in this matter of oral sex.
Sexual Intimacy In Marriage Is A Lifelong Process
Above all, cover your relationship with grace as you grow and learn together.
Different forms of expression can be appropriate at different seasons when younger or older in stress or joy during pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing during and after menopause The list could go on.
If you have other questions or would like to talk more, . Our licensed or pastoral counselors will be glad to help in any way they can.
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Is Oral Sex A Sin Before Marriage
Yes, we must not perform oral with our boyfriends and girlfriends outside of marriage as a way to satisfy our sexual desires.
Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
Galatians 5:19-20 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
Its Not Just About The Kids
You dont have to read very far in the Bible to discover the connection between sexuality and procreation. In the very first chapter of the very first book it says:
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.
God made them male and female and he told them to be fruitful and multiply. The message seems rather obvious: having and raising godly babies is part of how we exercise dominion over the earth.
Thats true, but it isnt the end of the story it isnt even the start of the story! In fact, the first thing that God says about a human being in the Book of Genesis is that: It is not good that the man should be alone I will make him a helper fit for him .
Human beings are intended to resemble and represent God therefore the man ought to have a complementary and co-equal partner. Therefore God created Eve from a rib taken from Adams side. The Bible goes on to say:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Done right, under blessing, it often results in children, but it isnt ultimately for that. It is for the glory of God and the comfort of mankind. Thats a subtle and yet very significant distinction.
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Is It Healthy For A Woman To Swallow Her Husbands Semen
Under normal circumstances oral sex between a husband and wife within the confines of marriage presents no health risks whatsoever. What do I mean by normal? If a man and woman follow Gods design for marriage and they both wait for all sexual activity until marriage there is no chance of them contracting any STDs from one another due to oral sex.
On the subject of a mans semen. Many women are grossed out by a mans semen while others absolutely love it. So, what is in this mystery fluid that is ejected from a mans body when he has an orgasm?
On average men ejaculate about a teaspoon of semen.
Sperm makes up only about 2 to 5 percent of a mans semen.
The overwhelming majority of a mans semen is fructose, along with vitamin C, zinc, protein, lactic acid, magnesium, calcium chlorine, citric acid, creatine, potassium, vitamin B12, sodium, nitrogen, and phosphorus.
Basically what that means is your husbands sperm has about the same ingredients as the breakfast plate pictured below.
So, no it absolutely not unhealthy for a woman to swallow her husbands semen. In fact, it is very healthy both for her physically and for him psychologically. And we will tackle the male psychological side of oral sex next.
Oral Sex And The Christian Wives Who Love Giving It
Years ago, I was having lunch with a woman who would eventually become one of my closest friends.
At the time of our lunch all those years ago, we were new colleagues, and we soon discovered we had a plethora of things in common our love of sex being one of them.
To say she and I had great ease in talking about sex in our marriages would be an understatement. To this day, she is a confidante who I know will always be up for a transparent and authentic conversation about sexual struggles and sexual joys.
At our first lunch together, we eventually came upon the topic of oral sex, to which I said, Who doesnt love oral sex?! She looked at me quizzically and asked, Giving or receiving?
BOTH, I answered enthusiastically. She agreed.
I know there are many wives out there who have never given oral sex to their husband, or if they have, they do not enjoy it. The reasons can vary, but suffice to say, most reasons would fall into at least one of the below categories:
I cant do it without gagging.
I associate it with promiscuous behavior.
Oral sex is something I did before I was married, and now I feel guilty doing it.
It just grosses me out.
I dont think its a Christian thing to do.
It hurts my neck.
I dont want him to come in my mouth.
I dont know how to give oral sex right.
Im self conscious. I just dont know what Im doing.
The words sex and oral sex dont appear in the book of Song of Songs. But we do get the below passages
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The Marriage Bed Playground
There is a fence around the playground a fence that separates a couple from sex acts that are dangerous, sinful, or otherwise unacceptable. Inside the fence are a great number of pieces of playground equipment that a couple may enjoy.
What each couple enjoys varies just as preferences in playground equipment vary. If he gets dizzy and sick on things that spin, the merry-go-round is not a good choice. If she is uncomfortable with heights, that very tall slide is a bad idea. If they both enjoy him pushing her in the swing, but neither is big on her pushing him, thats just fine. Start with a few things and over time test out others. If something is not enjoyable to either of you, leave it. However, do come back around to things you didnt like the first time our tastes chance and some things we didnt enjoy early on may be a lot of fun years later.
But where is the fence? What is inside the fence and what is outside? Lets consider some specific bedroom activities and apply the principles above. Please keep in mind that we are not recommending any of these activities. We are only trying to give couples a framework for deciding which sexual activities will build their marriage and which may damage it. How you feel about these things will be influenced by personal preferences, past experience, and your understanding of the Word. You can use the index below to jump to a particular subject.
Pleasing Your Spouse: Stewards Of Each Other’s Bodies
“But a married man is concerned with… how he can please his wife… A married woman is concerned about… how she can please her husband” .
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband… Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” .
“The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife” .
These scriptures in 1 Corinthians 7 are some of the most specific, helpful, and misunderstood scriptures of the bible on sex. So let’s go over a few important points.
In a similar way, Paul points out that the wife and husband have the authority over each other’s bodies. What does that mean? This has often been taught in the churches to mean that a wife should never deny her husband sex. Though that question is an important one to answer, it misses the fact that 1 Cor 7:4 is not even addressing that. The wording in the Greek here is quite helpful. The term that is important is exousiazo, which means: to exercise authority over. This is a term describing a delegated or conferred power or authority.
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