When It Is Okay To Forgive Someone
Forgiveness is for us, not someone else. There are some things that we need to forgive ourselves for too. If you hold on to the bitterness within your heart it will only hurt yourself and those around you as well.
It is okay to forgive someone when you feel that they have shown genuine remorse, and it is okay to forgive yourself when you know what you did was wrong.
Its important to remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!
Why Forgiveness Is Important For Ourselves As Well As Others
According to research, making a conscious decision to forgive allows us to let go of the past and move on even when others have not. Forgiveness can be difficult, but it is crucial for our mental health and emotional stability because of the freedom that comes with letting go of negative emotions.
Forgiveness also allows us to take action without being weighed down by old wounds. It helps us move forward in life instead of constantly looking back at harmful events.
The Bible in Matthew 18:21-35, teaches that releasing anger and bitterness helps us become better people. Many other passages in the Bible tell us to forgive others as well John 20:23 says If you forgive anyones sins, they are forgiven if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.
Self-forgiveness and forgiveness can help you relax, minimize the chance of depression, let go of unpleasant feelings, and improve your relationships with God as written in the New Testament in Matthew 12:31 and Luke 17:14-18.
Question: What Does The Bible Say About Bitterness
Answer: Bitterness is a state of mind that causes a person to willfully hold on to resentful and angry feelings, and can reveal itself in angry outbursts at any moment. Scripture tells us to Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice .
Bitterness can act on the mind in the same way poison acts on the body. The person who isnt forgiving, but holds on to their bitterness, will become more and more outwardly resentful, cynical, harsh, cold, and unpleasant to be around. Any expression of these manifestations of bitterness is sin against God and other people. Hebrews 12:15 tells us, See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled. We must always be careful so that we dont entertain bitter thoughts, simply because, it is Gods will that His people are known for their love, joy and peace . Not bitterness! So, because our natural tendency is to be resentful and become bitter, we would be wise to heed the Lords words in Matthew 26:41, to Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
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How Can We Overcome Bitterness
Because bitterness is a deep and continual feeling, it takes time to find a way to defeat it. There is no instant cure. But here are four steps to overcome bitterness:
1. Reevaluate yourself and the situation.
This involves not only recognizing the impact bitterness is having on your life, but also evaluating whether your view of a person or situation is even accurate or worth your attention.
2. Take responsibility for your part.
God knows what really happened and who had fault in it. Since we can only control ourselves, try to critically evaluate what part you may have had in the problem.
If you have part of the responsibility, own up to it and ask forgiveness from the other party.
If not, then ask for Gods help, and trust that He will handle the situation. He knows who did right and who did wrong, and He will judge the matter through Christ in the appropriate way according to His timing. We have to put our confidence in Him. Allowing God to be the judge and deal with a situation in His time frame can be one of the greatest ways to overcome bitterness.
Of course, if someone took advantage of you, be sure to avoid putting yourself in the same situation again.
3. Forgive.
In Matthew 18:22 Jesus said that we must forgive 70 times seven times. This isnt about math, its about developing a forgiving heart. It can take a long journey of continual forgiveness to end bitterness and strife.
4. Dont go it alone.
Bible Verses & 5 Steps To Overcoming Anger And Resentment
SEND ME THE VERSES
Concrete steps make sense to me. Give me a numbered list, and I’m a happy camper. So I created a numbered list for you.
Following the steps isn’t as easy as 1-2-3. The steps are where the real work lies. I am praying that you are challenged by these steps, and that you find a way to get through them all.
When people mistreat us and there’s nothing we can do about it, we get mad. It isn’t fair. Parents see it in their young children who are constantly on the lookout to make sure everything is fair.
The gut reaction to get upset in the face of unfairness never really goes away. God’s Word says that we are to control our tempers, even in the face of unfairness.
Sensible people control their temper they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. -Proverbs 19:11
Earn respect. What if the respect of men isn’t what you’re after?
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. -James 1:19-20
The righteousness God desires. Ouch. We may be able to brush off the respect of men, but the righteousness of God doesn’t go away so easily.
Do to others as you would like them to do to you. -Luke 6:31
When we overlook wrongs, we treat others the way we want to be treated. But what if the wrong is something really big? What if we can’t just get over it?
What next?
Being upset isn’t a sin, but being controlled by your feelings is.
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The Bible Points Out The Deadly Dangers Of Becoming Bitter And Resentful God Also Offers Us The Help We Need For Overcoming Bitterness
God created us to be emotional, and He also has emotions, though on a much higher level. One of the most challenging areas in our Christian life is understanding and properly controlling our emotions. We have to learn which emotional responses are sin and which are not. Some emotional responses are wrong because of what they do to us and to those we encounter in our daily lives.
One of those emotions is bitterness. Those specializing in human behavior and mental wellness consider it to be one of the most destructive and toxic human emotions. That is mainly because bitterness generally comes from allowing the emotions of anger and hateand in some cases, fear and jealousyto linger in our lives over a period of time.
Bitterness has the power to destroy us from within and can negatively impact those around us in many ways.
God knew this would be a significant problem for humanity. Thats why there are over 100 scriptures in the Bible that deal with it in some form and even prescribe ways to overcome it.
What Are The Effects Of Unforgiveness On Our Lives
Forgiveness is beneficial because it promotes greater mental health and well-being, as it relieves anxiety and stress. Unforgiveness causes discomfort through the appearance of unpleasant emotions such as stress, anxiety, depression, insecurity, and fear.
Unforgiveness is also harmful to the human heart. The hardened heart is irritated, resentful, bitter, and vengeful against the offender. The heart becomes increasingly reluctant to forgive since it is already closed off and bent towards revenge.
It would be beneficial if we could learn how to let go of our bitterness and resentment before they put us in an early grave!
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Overcoming Depression And Racial Division
You want to hear a story of someone who came from a place of a disadvantage almost in every way? Meet Naomi and Ruth.
Naomi lost her husband and her two sons in a foreign land. She was left with two daughters-in-law, now widows also. One of them, Orpah, decided to stay in her native land of Moab. But the other, Ruth, refused to leave Naomis side. Together, they decided to go back to Judah.
Have you ever had to return home after things didnt work out the way you planned? Even though you have a place to return to, you can almost hear the I told you so from miles away.
The Hebrew name Naomi comes from the word for pleasant. But at this stage in her life, Naomi was so distraught that she no longer wanted to be called by her name anymore. She asked those around her to call her Mara, meaning bitterness.
Meanwhile Ruth was thrown into the complete unknown. She was a foreigner, feeling out of place, which onlookers readily commented on. But Ruth carried on with what Naomi told her to do each day, even if it wasnt much. And God favored her.
What Does The Bible Say About Bitterness And Resentment
When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitudes, bitterness and resentment are sinful and self-defeating. They will color your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill . However, they can be dispelled with love.
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To Recognize Its There
So many people either have never known or have never been willing to admit they are bitter. They dont recognize itor if they do, they would never admit it. They hide their bitterness behind masks. With some, a root of bitterness may go all the way back to childhood.
You must seek it out, pursue it, and search for it because so many people think other people have a problem with bitternessbut they dont. If outwardly you seem to be living a good life, but bitterness lies beneath the surface, youre only strengthening the root. You must recognize it is present, and that there is a root cause.
Bible Verses On Bitterness And Forgiveness:
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy. Without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Pardon, and you will be pardoned.
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Seek the LORD while he may be found call upon him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts. Let him return to the LORD, that he may have compassion on him, and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
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Trust The Sovereignty Of God
Whatever trial youre facing today has been orchestrated by the hand of God. The promotion at work you were not given, the empty arms that long for a child, the words that questioned your integrityGod sees and hears and knows. Nothing is wasted. Cling to the fact that God has a purpose for your good and his glory in the midst of your suffering .
It’s Easy To Feel Like You Are Falling Behind In Your Faith
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Dealing With The Root Of Bitterness
Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled
The root of bitterness is a subtle enemy, because it has the appearance like unforgiveness of being a justifiable response. More often than not, its the off-shoot of unforgiveness and the truth is that it cannot exist in a forgiving heart. Left unchecked, a bitter root can lead to ruin and destruction. To understand its power, we need to understand the purpose of a root and how this works in our lives.
A root of bitterness is like any other root.
The primary function of a root is to act as an anchor. It digs deep and develops phenomenal strength and tenacity think of the enormous trees and what strength and power their roots must have to keep them stable and secure. The root of bitterness has the same purpose. It anchors us or ties us to the negative situation that generated the root in the first place. We cannot move on and cannot free ourselves. To all intents and purposes, the root has us stuck in one place.
The root of bitterness is not visible at first.
Cutting off the root of bitterness.
Grace is the answer to the root of bitterness.
How to avoid a root of bitterness.
Let Go And Let God: Letting Go Of Bitterness
Background Text: Colossians 3:13
Devotional Text: Hebrews 12:15
Today, we are discussing bitterness, what the Bible has to say about it, and how bitterness affects us.
The emotion of bitterness often makes the person who is bitter a miserable person to be around. Psychologists even affirm that being bitter can adversely affect ones health.
The person one is feeling bitter toward, on the other hand, is usually not affected at all. The recipient of bitterness is usually just confused about what happened but does not normally dwell on the other persons feelings toward them, nor do they feel bitterness and hurt in kind.
So why become bitter about someone or something if the only person who is truly hurt by this emotion is the person who is engulfed by it?
The Bible tells us that the best way to lose bitterness is to be forgiving. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul wrote, Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Hebrews 12:15 made the subject of bitterness clearer: See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.
From the Hebrews verse, we begin to understand that if someone takes on bitterness whenever something happens to them that makes them sad, disappointed or angry, the root can grow into a tree and take over the persons life. When bitterness rules ones life, it takes them away from all sense of normalcy.
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What The Bible Says About Bitterness
Bitterness is the opposite of Gods way of thinking, and it can take us away from God. Hebrews 12:15 says, See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled .
Bitterness defiles because it is a sin that can linger in our lives and separate us from God. It removes holiness and peace of mind from our lives.
The Bible tells us to overcome bitterness:
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you .
Don’t Forget: You Were Forgiven First
Remember that you have been adopted into God’s family only because He first forgave you. None of us deserve God’s forgiveness. But instead of striking us off the face of the planet when we sinned, God extended His mercy and grace and gave us an opportunity for a new life through Jesus Christ .
On the days when we don’t feel like forgiving others, and we’re hurt and tired and angry, we can look to the God who loves us and gives us the power and the state of mind to extend love instead of hateâeven when it’s difficult or undeserved.
Battling bitterness requires choosing to love the subject of our anger and our hurt instead of allowing the bitterness to continue to keep its roots burrowed into our hearts.
TL DR
Bitterness is an unpleasant affliction of biting resentment that leads to harsh, unprovoked cynicism and an antagonistic attitude that can become downright hostile. Ephesians 4:31 says to get rid of negative feelings toward others right away. Keep bitterness from getting a foothold in your life, and instead seek to conform to the image and character of Jesus Christ .
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