Is Having Sex A Sin According To The Bible
Having sex is not a sin if it is done within the confines of marriage the way God intended it.
That is, a man or a woman can only have sex with another partner to whom they are legally married. Anything outside this is called adultery.
The Bible says thou shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14.
He frowns at couples who are not married legally, yet they live together as husband and wife. He hates those who have sex with inanimate objects or those who engage in any form of sexual perversion.
Whenever sexual intercourse takes place in any of such unholy unions it is a sin.
It will incur the wrath of God. But when marriage is properly covenanted, God will be there to bless such a union and make it fruitful.
The havoc that unholy sex can wreak in the lives of people who engage in it and the society at large is very great.
The Bible gives us an insight into this in Genesis 6:1-5. It breeds wickedness, violence, and all manners of evil, which will bring the judgment of God.
It is the major reason why God destroyed the first world with the flood.
Its one of the reasons God rained fire and brimstone on Sodom and Gomorrah and destroyed them. Also, it is one of the reasons why our world today is lurching toward judgment.
God has not made a mistake when He gave us sexual organs. Neither is He being wicked by telling us that we can only explore the pleasure of sex in marriage.
The truth is, that God knows what is best for us.
He simply wants us to obey Him.
What Does The Bible Say About Intimacy In Marriage
He said, it is not good for the man to be alone. He made Eve and brought her to Adam. That was how the first marriage started.
The Bible did not reveal much about how Adam and Eve handled their marriage, but Adam was inspired to make the all-important declaration Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24.
Adam was talking about intimacy in marriage. It is a mystery that God has ordained in marriage to make married couples enjoy the full benefit of marital union.
Intimacy means oneness.
Sexual activities are part of the intimacy in marriage, but that is not all. When husbands and wives enjoy real intimacy they form a strong bond that is very difficult for any third party to break.
Many people have made the mistake of going into marriage, mainly on the platform of sexual satisfaction, but they soon discover that marriage is more than having sex.
Oneness is a key to a lasting marriage. It sustained the marriage of Adam and Eve after they sinned and God sent them out of the Garden of Eden.
Despite all that happened, they remained inseparable till death.
Sex In A Christian Marriage What The Bible Says And Doesnt Say
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Sex in a Christian marriage is a beautiful, God-designed act. It is not only for procreation, but for pleasure. God created sex in a Christian marriage for us to have physical, spiritual and emotional intimacy with our partners.
Ive received several emails on what is ok and what is not ok when it comes to sex in the Christian marriage. While I wish the Bible included a how-to manual or a specific list of guidelines, it does not. It does however, make several items crystal clear.
Sex is Designed for Married Couples
We were created to be exclusive sexually. Becoming one flesh with your partner is important for satisfying sexual needs. Sex was not designed to be a group sport or for one to have multiple partners. Casual sex, or sex outside of marriage, may relieve sexual tension but fails to meet our needs for deeper intimacy that sex in a Christian marriage was designed for.
God created sex to be between a husband and wife as is written in the Scriptures:
1 Corinthians 7:2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.
Sex Should Include Mutual Submissiveness
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Sex Is A Reflection Of The Loving Goodness Of God
God created sex. God made our bodies very good with male and female parts and pleasures. When our first parents consummated their covenant, God was not shocked or horrified, because He created our bodies for sex. The reason that sex is fun, wonderful and pleasurable is because it is the reflection of the loving goodness of God who created it as gift for us to steward and to enjoy: That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame .
Tips For Increasing Sexual Pleasure In Your Marriage
In the above section, we talked about how impurity is against Gods commands. To be pure in the marriage, both spouses need to avoid immorality, unpure thoughts and have eyes only for each other. If this is an issue in your marriage, consider accountability partners to ensure that you both stay pure.
2.Both Spouses Need to Understand Each Others Needs
In my book, The God Centered Marriage, I talk about this in-depth. God created men and women as unique creatures. Men crave the physical aspects of sex more than women . Women seek non-sexual touch, emotional connectedness and support. Talk with each other and learn what your spouse needs from you and be aware that your needs may not meet your spouses needs. Learn to get out of your comfort zone and meet your partners needs.
3.Wives Should Embrace Their Sexuality
Learning how to embrace sensuality is essential because sexual inhibition will compromise sex in a Christian and can harm the marriage. Learn how to love yourself and see what your husband loves about you. Practice ways to be sexy for your husband. This is a tough one for many women as before marriage, we are told that sex is bad and to avoid appearing too sexual. Ask your husband what he finds appealing about you and flaunt it for him only!
4. Both Spouses Should Recognize How Sex Can Bless Their Marriage
5. Learn to Talk Openly About Sex
6. Learn to Experiment
Because of Him,
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Healing A Sexless Marriage
Great sex and frequent sex is intrinsic to happy marriages. And not just when youre young, but for all seasons of marriage.
The husband should fulfill his wifes sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husbands needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan wont be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Your problems whatever they are have solutions. Its imperative to work through and pray through whatever needs healing in your relationship dont put it on the back burner. Lack of sex or dissatisfying sex leads to increased relational stress and tension, which snowballs into selfish or unkind behaviors and can lead to infidelity and divorce.
Sometimes physical issues contribute to a sexless marriage. Exercising regularly and achieving and maintaining a healthy BMI can work wonders for the sex drive and erectile dysfunction . Smoking, excessive drinking, diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease are all associated with erectile dysfunction. Honor your body Gods temple and you will enjoy better sex!
Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?
But Sex Isn’t Just About Procreation
Although followers of God have been instructed to “be fruitful and multiply,” sex isn’t meant solely for procreation. It’s meant to be a joyful, intimate experience between partners. Genesis 2:24 reads, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”What does it mean to “become one flesh”? Obviously this refers to physical intimacy, but it also suggests that within a relationship, two peoples’ hearts and souls can become so intertwined that they effectively become one. They share in all the joys and pains of life. What affects one also affects the other.
You might be surprised, but parts of the Bible are pretty steamy.
Take for example, Song of Songs 7:7-10. “Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree I will take hold of its fruit.’ May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine. May the wine go straight to my beloved, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me.”
Similarly, Proverbs 5:18-19 encourages people to physically appreciate their partner. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight be intoxicated always in her love.”
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His Left Hand Is Under My Head And His Right Hand Embraces Mesong Of Solomon : 6
I don’t know how many times and, on how many platforms, I have shared that, when it comes to the problems that husbands and wives bring to me, 90 percent of them are directly connected to sexual dissatisfaction on some level. Some are not having sex as much as they would like . Others say that they never have time for sex . Others don’t realize that things like boredom, not emotionally connecting throughout the day, and a lack of “landscaping” are doing all sorts of damage to their sexual relationship . The reasons are endless. Yet, the one thing that all of the explanations have in common is, when a husband and wife are physically able to have sex and aren’t, it’s not healthy for a relationship. Not only that but, more times than not, the “unhealthiness” is going to manifest in other areas of the marriage too.
That’s why I think that this verse of the Bible is important. It’s mostly due to the word “embrace”.
Embracing your spouse is not just about giving them a hug. It’s also about receiving them gladly and eagerly, accepting them willingly and making yourself available to them. This one simple sentence speaks volumes to the fact that when you’re married, it’s important to make your spouse a top priority and to want them to feel desired in a physical and sexual way.
Sex Before Marriage Is Not A Sin
No sex before marriage-When asked what the Bible has to say about sex, most people will have this response. However, when asked to provide exactly where this rule is listed in the Bible, the answer from many Christians is much less confident. My belief that premarital sex is sinful has been shattered.
So what is the truth about having sex outside of marriage?
The truth is that we are having the wrong conversation over and over again. In an attempt to justify what is believed to be common knowledge, we are pulling at any verse that has an inkling of resemblance to premarital sex. We are using these verses, devoid of their context and circumstance, in order to justify a belief that does not have much merit.
Many source the Ten Commandments as a call to wait until we are married to have sex. In particular, the seventh of these commandments.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
The problem here is that adultery and premarital sex are being equated, when in reality, they are two distinctly different things.
Adultery really is about violation of relationship or violation of contract. Its about not keeping your promise, Dr. Colleen Windham-Hughes, a professor of religion at California Lutheran University, said.
This verse can be interpreted to mean that God is in control of our bodies. While it is undeniable that glorifying God through celibacy or through your body is a way to honor God, this verse is also getting at the submissive role of women at this time in the world.
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What Are The Benefits Of Not Sleeping Together Before Marriage
Some of the benefits of chasity are sexual purity, a pure heart, and the ability to maintain a committed relationship. When we wait until marriage to have sex, we are honoring Gods design for our lives. We can experience true intimacy with our spouse without having to worry about the baggage that comes with pre-marital sex. Trust Gods timing in your life He will bless you abundantly!
Behold You Are Handsome My Beloved Yes Pleasant Also Our Bed Is Greensong Of Solomon : 16
This, hands down, is one of my favorite verses in the Bible when it comes to cultivating sexual intimacy. While on the surface, it might not seem like much, take a moment to look deeper. First of all, the Bible was translated out of the Hebrew language and the Hebrew word for beloved is “yadid” . It also means favorite and desired.
While many of us aren’tor won’t bevirgins on our wedding night, something that we can definitely strive to be with our spouse is their sexual favorite. Something else that we canand shoulddo is want to make them feel like we desire them. That we crave them. That we long for them. That they are able to ignite sexual urges within us that no one on this planet can.
There’s more, though. Our bed is green. Green is a dope color. It’s not just the color of nature , it also symbolizes health, harmony, safety, growth and fertility. The very first time that I read this verse, I was like, “If I ever get married, I’m getting some green bedding, fa sho.” So married people, even if you only decide to go with a plant, consider also putting something green in your bedroom. It can serve as a reminder that your marriage bed is holistically healthyemotionally, spiritually, sexually and otherwise.
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Its Not Just About The Kids
You dont have to read very far in the Bible to discover the connection between sexuality and procreation. In the very first chapter of the very first book it says:
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.
God made them male and female and he told them to be fruitful and multiply. The message seems rather obvious: having and raising godly babies is part of how we exercise dominion over the earth.
Thats true, but it isnt the end of the story it isnt even the start of the story! In fact, the first thing that God says about a human being in the Book of Genesis is that: It is not good that the man should be alone I will make him a helper fit for him .
Human beings are intended to resemble and represent God therefore the man ought to have a complementary and co-equal partner. Therefore God created Eve from a rib taken from Adams side. The Bible goes on to say:
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Done right, under blessing, it often results in children, but it isnt ultimately for that. It is for the glory of God and the comfort of mankind. Thats a subtle and yet very significant distinction.
Sex In Marriage Should Be Regular And Continuous
Although other texts from the Bible help us answer the question of frequency of sex, the most specific text is 1 Corinthians 7:5. The Apostle Paul writes,
Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control .
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Limits On Sexual Pleasure
God reserves sexual relations for marriage mates only, as Hebrews 13:4 shows: Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers. Married couples must be faithful and maintain their commitment to each other . They find the greatest delight, not by pursuing selfish gratification, but by applying the Bible principle: There is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.Acts 20:35.
When The Sex Should Stop
Pastor, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Sometimes sex should stop in marriage.
The sometimes is really important. Not all the time. Its not what is normative or typical. Its sometimes. And, at the same time, be sure that sometimes really means some-times. Real times. These are actual moments, or seasons, that never present themselves as the anomaly they should prove to be in the long run. Were talking about a tangible pause from sex, however brief and limited the stopping may be.
The biblical text on this topic is 1 Corinthians 7:15, and though the meaning is pretty straightforward, the way this text plays itself out in the life of the church can run askew in two different directions. One error is to use this passage to support a pattern of self-fulfilling sexual demands the other is to use this passage to fuel a culture of fear in the marriage relationship and both combine to produce damaging implications.
Lets expose these misuses and then chart a course for the gospel-empowered sometimes of sexual abstinence in marriage.
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