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What The Bible Says About Premarital Sex

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Lasting Emotional Bond Are Created

For women especially, a sexual encounter can leave a trail of emotions lingering for days or years. This can even trickle into marriage, whether or not the spouse was the premarital sex partner. Those lasting emotional bonds are related to the familiar heart-guarding issue. Women are wise to guard their hearts. So are men. But each is also wise to consider and guard the potential partners as well. The encounter isnt simply about one person. Emotional bonds happen. Were wise to love our neighbor well, and God even more so. For women or men that may be experiencing emotional effects from premarital sex, counseling would be beneficial to consider and partake in.

What The Bible Says About Premarital Sex

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Ive heard it said that the Bible doesnt mention premarital sex as a sin. There are major implications to this on two levels. One, there is the simple and important question of knowing what is a sin and what isnt. Two, and more importantly, if it is a sin has huge ramifications on Gods overall design for sex and how men are to view women and vice versa.

If you type premarital sex or sex before marriage into your English Bible concordance, nothing is going to come up. If you search for adultery, a married person having sex with someone who is not their spouse, youll get all kinds of occurrences. So I suppose this is where some get the idea that maybe sex is okay up until you get married, then youre locked into that one person from thereafter.

If youre used to reading the King James Version, youll note that it often uses the word fornication, which means sex-before-marriage. The NIV and other translations swap this out for the term sexual immorality, which is quite vague and does not give the surface indication that sex-before-marriage is a sin.

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Premarital Sex Builds Communication Hurdles

Communication isnt always easy in . Add on to that conversations about previous sexual encounters or relationships, and the difficulty often deepens. Well avoid those hurdles altogetherat least the ones pertaining to previous sexual activityif we refuse premarital sex. If you are married and you or your partner engaged in premarital sex, but you havent discussed it, you may find yourself in a rut of the next three consequences. If you are engaged to someone and either of you has engaged in premarital sex, this is something helpful to bring up for discussion in marriage counseling. If this is an issue in your relationship, its much better to be open with each other, to glean biblical counseling together, and to offer forgiveness than to simply refuse to discuss it.

The Role Of Tradition

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The Jewish tradition that flows from the Old Testament and cradles the New Testament was even more explicit in condemning pre-marital sex. For instance, it was believed that Joseph was adamant that he and his future wife, Asenath, remain pure until their wedding day. Theres nothing in the Old Testament that validates such concern Josephs marriage to Asenath is only mentioned in passing . But the later retelling of Joseph and Asenath reflects a widespread Jewish view: Sex before marriage is sin.

And this is the ethical world that Jesus and His followers were raised in. Jews and Christians had many disagreements about what constitutes right and wrong . But when it came to sexual immorality, they found much in common. Sex before marriage was clearly condemned in Judaism, and the same goes for Christianity.

For instance, Paula Jewargued that the only proper outlet for sexual desire is within marriage: because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband . Again, if unmarried people cant control their sexual desires, Paul doesnt tell them to head to the brothel, or to their boyfriend, or their betrothed loved one. Rather, they should marry since it is better to marry than to burn with passion . In other words, we should not satisfy our sexual passion with someone other than a spouse.

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Does Marriage Mean Precede Or Follow Wedding

: Marriage is the union between a man and a woman.

WEDDING: A wedding has two conflicting definitions both of which cannot be simultaneously correct. Look at them below.

1 A wedding is a marriage ceremony and the party or special meal that often takes place after the ceremony.

2 A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage.

Before I proceed I would like to define what a ceremony is.

What is a ceremony? A ceremony, otherwise known as a rite or ritual, is a formal act or set of formal acts established by custom or authority as proper to a special occasion, such as a wedding, religious event, etc.

Now, the first definition points out that a wedding is a ceremony associated with marriage while the second concludes that a wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage

Both definitions were formulated by humans based on what various people believe about marriage. However, the fact that a definition was formulated by humans does not necessarily mean that it must contradict Biblical realities.

In this case, both definitions are contradictory but not both of them contradict Biblical matrimonial truth. This means that one of them is correct and does not contradict Biblical truth about marriage while the other one is incorrect and does. It is the first definition of wedding that is correct and agrees with marital Biblical perspective.

What Does The Bible Say About Premarital Sex Or Sex Before Marriage

The Bible, which is the final authority on every issue of life, says much about sexual immorality. Nevertheless, there is nowhere it explicitly or tacitly applies any of the following terms: sin, sexual immorality or fornication to sex before marriage.

Sexual immorality takes many forms like adultery, incest, bestiality, fornication, homosexuality and others, but it is not synonymous with sex before marriage. All of these forms have ample Biblical evidence which proves that they are sins but there is no single Biblical evidence that corroborates the claim that sex before marriage is sexual immorality of any form, even the most widely mentioned, fornication.

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Dr Ben Witherington Iii Responds:

As ought to be clear from 1 Cor. 7, virginity in a woman was highly valued before marriage. In that text she is called both the betrothed and a virgin. In early Jewish law if you had sex with a woman you were considered married to her or you had shamed her. See the story of Mary and Joseph. Porneia can refer to all sorts of sexual sin including deflowering a virgin. What that whole discussion by your student ignores is: firstly, there was no dating or physical intimacy prior to an arranged marriage in the vast majority of cases. The notion of dating doesnt exist in Jesus and Pauls world. Second, honor and shame cultures placed a high value on sexual purity. Notice how prostitutes were stigmatized. Women were mainly blamed for sexual immorality. Finally Jesus gave his disciples two choices in Mt. 19fidelity in heterosexual marriage or being a eunuch! This means no sex outside marriage.

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Does The Bible Really Prohibit Sex Outside Of Marriage

God loves sex. The first two commands recorded in the Bible are have dominion over creation, and then be fruitful and multiply . In other words, rule the world and have lots of sex. Not a bad day at the office.

Whoever said God was some cosmic killjoy? God created sex and declared it to be good.

Within Christian circles, its assumed God only wants us to have sex if were married. Sex outside of marriage is one of the clearest, unquestionable prohibitions in Christianity. But where does the Bible teach this? Can you name a verse?

Many will race to the Ten Commandments: You shall not commit adultery . But adultery means having sex with someone elses spouse it doesnt refer to an unmarried couple sleeping together. Likewise, when Jesus condemns lust in Matthew 5, He does so in the context of adultery. In other words, we should not sexually desire another persons spouse as our own.

God loves sex. But Hes designed us to have sex within the boundaries of a marriage covenant.

Others might turn to Leviticus 18. This sex chapter lists all sorts of sexual prohibitions including incest, bestiality, adultery and other sexual sins. Its fascinating, though, that nowhere in Leviticus 18 is sex before marriage condemned.

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When And Why Is Sex Before Marriage A Sin

Is premarital sex a sin? Short answer, yes . But Ill ask you thisdo you actually understand the reason why the Bible asks us to save sex for marriage? I can tell you this muchits not to shame us if we have a past were not so proud of, its not to interject itself in an unhelpful way in our daily lives, its not to make us miserable, and its not a test to see how much we actually love God. It is, in fact, for us, not against or opposed to us.

Sex with anyone other than your spouse will always be sinful. This is because the Catholic Church is very clear that the only context in which sex isn’t sinful, is when it takes place within a marriage.

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Bible Verses About Sex Before Marriage

then they shall bring out the girl to the doorway of her fathers house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death because she has committed an act of folly in Israel by playing the harlot in her fathers house thus you shall purge the evil from among you.

and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

What About Transgender And Transsexual People


The Bible does not say anything specific about either situation. However, the book of Deuteronomy has a prohibition against dressing in clothing of the opposite sex:

A woman must not wear men’s clothing, nor a man wear women’s clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

No one knows for sure whether this prohibition was intended as a general principle or was directed at some specific abuse among the ancient Hebrews. Cross-dressing was likely considered an affront to the natural distinction between the sexes ” rel=”nofollow”> Genesis 1:27). It may also have been related to some deviant sexual practice, or more likely, to pagan worship. It is known that some pagan rituals of that time involved women wearing armor and men dressing as women, and the Hebrews were forbidden to do anything that had even the appearance of pagan worship.

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Two Days Ago Daddy Freeze Shared His Thoughts About The Bibles Stance On Premarital Sex On His Instagram Page

In light of this statement, we are digging into the Holy Book in order to see what it actually says.

Here are nine Bible verses on premarital sex.

1. 1 Thessalonians 4:35 says, For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality that each one of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honour, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.

2. Ephesians 5:3 says, But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

3. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

4. 1 Corinthians 7:2 says, because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

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5. 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

6. Hebrews 13:4 says, Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

7. Acts 15:20 says, but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from the blood.

It Brings Rise To Comparison

Bible QnA part 2 | What God says on homosexuality, alcohol and drunkenness, premarital sex & more!

Comparison often gains power in our marriage when weve inched open the door with premarital sex. Were likely to be tempted to compare one partner to another, the encounters, feelings, and more. It can be detrimental. When we refuse sex outside of marriage, however, the comparison thief doesnt stand a chance. Just as with emotional bonds, comparison is an emotional response that can rear its ugly head time and time again. Discussing this with your partner, before marriage and after marriage, will help to settle a run-away thought life. Discussion and forgiveness are central to the healing process.

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What Does This Mean

The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves. Christians can mess up and receive Gods full forgiveness. But there is a stark difference between messing up and continuing to do so with the mindset, I can always ask for forgiveness.

What matters is a fully repentant heart. Repentance isnt just an attitude of the heart it literally means to turn from the former life with a commitment to change for the better. We, as followers of Christ, must strive to live within the confines of his loving boundaries and celebrate the good gifts hes given us even if that means we have to wait until our wedding day.

Heather Riggleman is a believer, wife, mom, author, social media consultant, and full-time writer. She lives in Minden, Nebraska with her kids, high school sweetheart, and three cats who are her entourage around the homestead. She is a former award-winning journalist with over 2,000 articles published. She is full of grace and grit, raw honesty, and truly believes tacos can solve just about any situation. You can find her on GodUpdates, iBelieve, Crosswalk, Hello Darling, Focus On The Family, and in Brio Magazine. Connect with her at or on .

Dr Bill Arnold Responds:

For the Old Testament side of things, its interesting that the only text your student interlocutor mentions is the Book of the Covenant stipulation that a man who seduces a virgin should pay her bride-price and make her his wife . What the student fails to observe is that the premise of this legal stipulation is that the man has, in fact, gotten the process reversed. He should have negotiated the bride-price, then married her, then had intercourse. The point of the law, as with many other laws in the Book of the Covenant, is that he has willfully done something wrong and must now make amends. The text the student is citing in your discussion actually supports your position, and not his.

Also, although perhaps not directly related to the question of premarital sex, the single most neglected datum from the OT related to marriage is Gen. 2:24-25. I never thought in my wildest dreams that this text would become controversial in our day, but it elevates the idea of heterogeneous marriage between one male and one female, regardless of how we conceptualize a state-defined and sanctioned certificate of marriage. The biblical concept is clear enough.

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