Forgiveness Requires Allowing Other People To Be Imperfect And Make Mistakes
Make allowance for each others faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
We all have faults. When you get to know and love someone, you come to understand their faults. When you love people, you are often more willing to overlook the little things and give them the benefit of the doubt. This is essential for healthy relationships.
Forgiveness is an act of love, and God calls us to love not only the people close to us but also the people around us, and even our enemies.
Some big things are hard to forgive and will simply take time, and lots of prayer. But do not give up. Also, people often make little mistakes, and take thoughtless actions that will irk you. Avoid letting those little things add up. Choose to forgive them as they happen, and do not be eager to take offense.
Its Better To Confess And Receive Forgiveness Than To Try To Cover Up Your Wrongdoings
People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.
Sometimes it feels like trying to cover your mistakes is better than confessing them and asking forgiveness, but that isnt true. In the Bible, the first created people, Adam and Eve, tried to hide and cover up their mistakes, and they quickly found out you cannot hide from God . He knows.
Trying to cover things up when you do something wrong usually backfires. And even if you succeed, that doesnt mean youre in the clear. Unconfessed sin is not good for the soul. Guilt and shame will weigh you down, but confessing, both to God and others, is freeing. The reactions of others may vary, but God responds to genuine confessions with mercy and forgiveness.
Because God Forgave You
This is the one youre probably already familiar with. The #1 reason why we should forgive others is simply because God forgave us. He is so full of love and ready to forgive when we sincerely ask, so we should too. I know most of the time its far from easy, but the more we condition ourselves spiritually and become closer to the Lord, the easier it becomes.
Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them. Colossians 3:13
How simple yet profound this verse is! Not only should we forgive others because He forgives us, but also simply because we love Him and should want to obey His word. Over and over God has forgiven both you and I more times in our lives than we even realize.
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How Do I Forgive
I will tell you what I do in order to forgive and this has worked for me.
- Acknowledge that your feelings are real and that it hurts. I talk to the Lord and tell him how I feel about the hurt, its okay to cry. Your heart does ache when someone hurts you tell it to Jesus. Dont tell your other friends or your family, that just makes the situation worse. Go directly to the Lord, He understands, and He knows the pain that you are feeling.
- Admit that you need the Lords help. I ask the Lord to soften my heart towards the person that hurt me.
- Make a conscious decision to forgive. I say, Lord, help me to forgive This way you have brought it to the Lord and told him that you are forgiving the person, so you feel accountable to keep your word.
- Release the event that happened. Do not replay it over and over again in your mind. Do not continue to talk about it. Do not let it settle in your spirit and begin to grow bitterness and animosity.
- Pray for the person that hurt you. Matthew 5:44 KJV But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you. At this point, I know that I have truly forgiven the person when I am able to pray for them.
We know that there are physical benefits for forgiveness, but there are also spiritual benefits.
Forgiving Others As God Has Forgiven Us Means We Resolve To Revoke Revenge
As noted earlier, this doesnt mean you cease desiring that justice be served. It does mean you refuse, by Gods grace, to let the anger and pain energize an agenda to exact payment from that person, whether that payment be emotional, relational, physical, or financial. It also means you refuse to use your past suffering to justify present sin.
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But What About The Person Who Hurt You
I wrote in the other post that you need to forgive the person you are angry with, and I stand by that statement.
When Jesus taught the disciples how to pray, He gave them the Lord’s Prayer. Part of that prayer, spoken by Jesus Himself, reads:
“and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” Matthew 6:12
Right after that, Jesus says this:
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6:14-15
I personally find this a little bit confusing because it says in 1 John 1:9-10 and Luke 24:46-47 that all your sins are forgiven, but then it also says that you will not be forgiven if you don’t forgive others. There are people way smarter than me who debate these points, and I’m not going to do that here, but I think that, if Jesus thought it was important enough to talk about, I think it’s worth consideration.
The only explanation that I can come up with to make sense of the seeming contradiction above is that maybe forgiving others is part of repentance.
HOWEVER, and this is a big point, forgiveness is not the same as erasing the crime of the other person.
Mothers And Sons: Being A Godly Influence
Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.
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Reasons Why Forgiveness Is So Important
1. Unforgiveness stands between you and God.Why? Because we are all sinners, and through Grace God has forgiven us and sees us as righteous. If God can forgive us all the awful things weve done, we can forgive others.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15
2. Forgiveness is good for you. If you harbour unforgiveness you will be holding onto bitterness and thinking badly of others, sinning and opening a door to the enemy to get into your life and cause havoc.
29 Do not say, Ill do to them as they have done to me Ill pay them back for what they did.Proverbs 24:29
3. Forgiveness is mainly for your benefit, not for the benefit of the person you are forgiving. As long as you are feeling like a victim, you are carrying a heavy burden. Forgiveness allows you to put the burden down. And simply walk away from it. Free.
4. Choosing not to forgive gets us stuck in our own past, preventing moving forward. Without forgiveness you are constantly stuck in your own past. Many people waste years of their lives in bitterness and resentment when they could, through forgiveness, have lived that time in joy.
6. Forgiveness leads to healing. Holding onto resentment and not forgiving is sinful and seems to stand in the way of physical wellness. Just google bitterness and cancer if you dont believe me.
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They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lias story, youll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!
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Forgiving Others Is A Prerequisite For Our Own Forgiveness
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses . This is a difficult verse to process. God stands ready and willing to forgive us, but asks that we extend the same forgiveness to others first. If we have resentment and bitterness in our hearts, its time to give it over to God. Let Him heal us and give us the ability to forgive. Our eternity is dependent on it.
God Is The Heavenly Father
There is a very good reason that God is called the Heavenly Father. It’s because His love is like the love of an earthly parent but even better and more perfect. Just like you would do anything for your children, just like you would forgive anything your children could ever do, just like you love your children no matter what, that’s how God feels about you.
The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. For He knows how weak we are He remembers we are only dust. Psalm 103:13-14
So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him? Matthew 7:11
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Why Is Forgiveness So Important In Christianity
Forgiveness is an important part of Christianity. It does not mean that Christians let others get away with things, but more that they make a conscious effort to forgive and let go of feelings that come with bearing a grudge against a person. This could be done by praying to God to ask for forgiveness.
Forgiveness Is A Blessing God Bestows Upon Those Who Accept Christ
Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants. And . . . one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents. But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all. Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
In this section Jesus told a parable to teach His disciples the unlimited scope of forgiveness. Jesus told about a king who wished to settle the accounts with his servants. In the course of the audit, the king decided to collect his outstanding debts.
One servant was brought before him who owed ten thousand talents. A talent was a large piece of silver that was worth 6,000 pence. A pence was the amount of money an average laboring man could earn in one dayand so to pay even one talent would require many years of work. It would be impossible to ever pay off ten thousand talents.
And so the king ordered that the servant be sold he and his wife and family were to be seized and sold . For the king to get partial payment was better than not getting anything as repayment.
Surely, this part of the parable is a picture of our gracious God. It is entirely within His nature to show such abundant mercy.
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Resources To Help You Prepare
These resources are to help you prepare for the âLearn togetherâ section of the meeting.
Matthew 6:14â15 18:21â35 or the video âForgive 70 Times 7â
Kevin R. Duncan, âThe Healing Ointment of Forgiveness,â EnsignLiahona, May 2016, 33â35
âForgiveness: My Burden Was Made Lightâ
God Does Not Limit How Many Times He Will Forgive Us So We Should Not Limit How Many Times We Will Forgive Others
Then Peter came to Him and asked, Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? No, not seven times, Jesus replied, but seventy times seven!
No matter how many times you sin, you can still come back to God, confess and receive His forgiveness. Thankfully, He has infinite patience and will never give up on you, even if you keep doing the same things over and over. He will always be ready to forgive.
If you are a Christian, you should model Gods patient forgiveness and be ready to forgive others over and over again. Sometimes this can be frustrating, but ask God to help you forgive others the way He forgives you.
This does not mean you should stay in an abusive relationship because the abuser always apologizes. Forgiveness does not mean putting yourself in harms way. But its possible to end an unhealthy relationship but be willing to forgive and not hold onto bitterness, no matter how many times that person hurt you.
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Why Forgiveness Is So Important
Forgiveness is a familiar concept in Christianity. Most people realize that they have done bad things, have sinned against God and need His forgiveness. When we receive His forgiveness, we receive many other benefits including freedom and peace.
Most people appreciate being forgiven, but when the time comes for them to forgive someone else for a wrong committed against them, they have a difficult time extending forgiveness. So what does the Bible say about forgiveness? Why should we forgive others?
What Does Jesus Say About Forgiveness
Jesus himself stressed the importance of forgiveness, but he was doing so in a culture that stressed very legalistic ideas. The problem with legalism is that it forgets or bypasses the spirit in which the law was given. Forgiveness from a legalistic perspective is a matter of balancing the books and making sure that a debt is paid or cancelled. From a spiritual perspective, forgiveness is about restoring the pathways of communication and love.
Look at Matthew 18:15-22 as an example. In verses 15-20, Jesus lays out a conflict resolution process that seeks a state of forgiveness between the parties involved. The ideal result of this solution is the meeting of two people seeking a state of forgiveness, and Jesus says that he is there also. What a beautiful moment that people can share not only with each other, but with God. Where else can we specifically do something and know that God joins us in that moment? Seen in this light, forgiveness is sacramental.
Peter hears Jesus give this instruction, but his legalistic side kicks in and he asks in verse 21 how many times he has to forgive someone before he can write them off. Seven times?
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There Is A Quote That Says Forgive And Forget
Although it sounds good and it is good advice its hard to do. We have to pray that we forget these things, but sometimes they might pop up in the back of our minds. What we must do is forget it from our speech. What I mean by that is never bring the matter up. Its going to hurt your relationship even more.
Love doesnt keep bringing the matter up. Dont even try to make it into a joke like some people do. Just forget it altogether. Many people say they forgive, but you can tell that they didnt because when a small matter occurs they treat it as a big matter because they hold on to the past. They are not really mad at the small matter, but they are still mad at the past.
Sometimes they even bring up a large list of the past. This is very common among spouses in marriage. Keep no record of wrong just like Jesus kept no record. Jesus knows what we have done in the past. He knows of our transgressions, but when He died on the cross He paid all of it.
He set our sins aside and no longer brings it up. When we refuse to bring up an issue with others and truly forgive from our heart that is a reflection of our Savior and His great love.
7. Proverbs 17:9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
8. Luke 23:34 And Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. And they cast lots to divide his garments.
9. Hebrews 8:12 For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.
Depend And Trust In God
After we have worked through our emotions, realized how much God has forgiven us, prayed for ourselves, prayed for those who hurt us, we finally arrive at the natural final step that is a result from putting into practice each step previously mentioned.
As we forgive others and rely on God to do so, we need to depend on and trust in God daily. He is the only one that will never let us down in this life and He is the only true provider for peace, joy, and love. Giving your heart, your concerns and everything you have to the Lord. He is trustworthy and He is perfect .
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you He will never let the righteous be shaken.
Relying on God isnt simply a pretty saying we tell ourselves is true, but an action we must take every single day of our life.
Its only through a relationship with God and allowing Him to sustain us that we can truly forgive others.
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