Arguing With Foolish People
19. Proverbs 26:4-5 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.
20. Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law.
21. Ephesians 4:15 Instead, by speaking the truth in love, we will grow up completely and become one with the head, that is, one with the Messiah.
23. 1 Corinthians 3:3 Thats because you are still worldly. As long as there is jealousy and quarreling among you, you are worldly and living by human standards, arent you?
Resolving Conflicts Gods Way
It happens again and again, all across America. A couple meets. Something clicks. A romance begins. They fall in love. As they stand at the front of the church pledging their lives to one another, family and friends look on with beaming smiles. Everyone agrees that they are such a perfect couple.
But at some point after this idyllic scene, problems hit. The couple discovers that they are not as compatible as they had thought. The romance fades. Conflicts grow more intense and frequent. They finally conclude that they are no longer in love and go their separate ways, hoping to find someone the next time around who will be more compatible. And it doesnt just happen to movie stars it happens in evangelical churches.
But the problem is rarely a lack of compatibilityno two people are compatible. The problem is not working at solving conflicts Gods way, or not being willing to follow Gods way. Every married couple will have conflicts. A good marriage isnt one where two compatible people never have conflicts a good marriage is one where two self-willed people have learned to deny self, submit to Christ, and work out their differences in Christian love. You will have a God-glorifying, satisfying marriage to the degree that you learn to solve your conflicts Gods way. You dont need to find a more compatible mate as much as you need to learn how to become a more compatible mate.
What Does God Say About Your Past
In verse 12, God says, For I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more. This is where God changes the past of all who commit their lives to Him. He forgives our sins and forgets them! Yes, God forgets our past, for He has forgiven us of all the mean, low-down things we have done.
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How Does The Bible Say To Deal With Conflict
Gods Word helps us handle conflict in a godly way so He can use it for good:
In Conflict We Must Seek Wise Counselors
Though this point may seem like it contradicts the previous one, it doesnt. Christ taught that we should confront a person in sin one on one, and if they dont respond, then invite others into the process, including the church. Matthew 18:16-17 says this:
But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Though this was originally spoken about a brother in sin, it certainly applies to sin or conflict within marriage. God made us part of the body of Christ, which includes our marriage. When a natural body is sick, it often results in fever. In a fever, the body simply recruits itself to bring healing. In the same way, a Christian marriage needs the bodys help to stay healthy. Marriages should always operate as a part of the body of Christ, but in times of difficulty, they need the bodys help even more.
Who would you invite to help your marriage? They should be wise people who can understand you, and who are walking with Christpreferably a married couple. Solomon said: For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure .
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
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We Must Defend The Faith
10. 1 Peter 3:15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.
11. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
12. 2 Timothy 4:2 Be ready to spread the word whether or not the time is right. Point out errors, warn people, and encourage them. Be very patient when you teach.
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In Conflict We Must Develop Perseverance
In continuing with what Paul and James taught about trials, both taught that trials produce perseverance. Paul then said perseverance produces character and character hope . James said that we should let perseverance finish its work so that we can become mature and complete, not lacking anything . In marital conflict, we must develop perseverance so we can produce the fruits God wants to cultivate in our marriage.
This is difficult because the natural response to trials and conflict is to bail or quit. And thats what many couples do. At some point they say, Thats enough I cant live like this and they quit. Some do this by divorcing, others by distancing themselves emotionally and physically, as they stop working to fix the marriage. However, Scripture teaches us to persevere in trials, which includes conflict. The word means to bear up under a heavy weight. God matures us individually and corporately as we bear up under the heavy weight. He teaches us to trust him more. He helps us develop peace, patience, and joy, regardless of our circumstances. He helps us grow in character as we let perseverance finish its work.
Do you feel like quitting? Hold on, because God has a harvest for you if you dont quit.
Should Christians Avoid Confrontation
Christians should handle confrontation with grace and truth, approaching their brothers and sisters using Gods Word, pointing them to Jesus, and forgiving them for any wrong committed. Confronting others should be a process of gentle correction filled with compassion as well as firmness. Grace and Truth. Condemnation.
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Bible Verses About Conflict
Which I have reserved for the time of distress,For the day of war and battle?
A perverse man spreads strife,And a slanderer separates intimate friends.
Through insolence comes nothing but strife,But wisdom is with those who receive counsel.
Woe to me, my mother, that you have borne meAs a man of strife and a man of contention to all the land!I have not lent, nor have men lent money to me,Yet everyone curses me.
Like one who takes a dog by the earsIs he who passes by and meddles with strife not belonging to him.
Better is a dry morsel and quietness with itThan a house full of feasting with strife.
Confuse, O Lord, divide their tongues,For I have seen violence and strife in the city.
For lack of wood the fire goes out,And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.
You have delivered me from the contentions of the people You have placed me as head of the nations A people whom I have not known serve me.
An arrogant man stirs up strife,But he who trusts in the Lord will prosper.
Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man,But any fool will quarrel.
I set a snare for you and you were also caught, O Babylon,While you yourself were not aware You have been found and also seizedBecause you have engaged in conflict with the Lord.
An angry man stirs up strife,And a hot-tempered man abounds in transgression.
He will be a wild donkey of a man,His hand will be against everyone,And everyones hand will be against him And he will live to the east of all his brothers.
Conflict Is Stirred Up By An Angry Heart
An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins .
An angry man or woman can cause conflict in any setting. Their angry words and actions could take just a moment, yet the ramifications can last a lifetime. Those who name Christ as Lord must step back in tense situations when anger is flaring to hear what God would give them to do in order to bring peace.
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In Conflict We Must Sow Good Seeds
Not only must we have the right attitude when encountering conflict, but we also must sow the right seeds to resolve it. Paul said that whatever we sow, we will also reap . Sowing and reaping is a principle God set throughout the earth, and it is at work within every marriage as well. If we sow negative seeds, we will reap negative fruit. It we sow positive seeds, we will reap positive fruit.
Sadly, even though we all want a positive harvest in our marriage, we typically respond in ways that are counter to that. A wife wants her husband to spend more time with her, but in order to get that, she criticizes him. The fruit she desires is opposite of the seed she is sowing. The seed of criticism will only produce a negative fruit in her husband. Similarly, a husband, who wants intimacy with his wife, actually begins to withdraw from her. He withdraws hoping that this will draw her closer, but it actually does the opposite. The negative seed of withdrawing cannot produce the positive fruit of intimacy.
In conflict, we must do the opposite of what our nature desires. We may have a desire to raise our voice, and/or to hurt the other person, but these seeds will only produce negative fruits and potentially destruction in the marriage. To resolve conflict, we must always sow the right seeds.
Similarly, consider what Paul taught about how we should respond to an enemy. He said:
Bible Verses To Help With Conflict Resolution In Marriage
Scripture is full of passages that relate to interpersonal intensity. In this article, I offer five helpful verses that can help you and your spouse to put the Word of God to work in your relationship and in your marital conflict resolution.
Your Temper and Your Marriage
Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. Proverbs 14:29
Have you ever lost your temper? Quite apart from the scientific explanation of what is happening in your brain at that moment, the Word of God also has some wisdom to offer. When we flip our lid in marital conflict, we can end up saying and doing things that we would never do if we were thinking clearly .
When we give ourselves over to fully venting our anger, we expose ourselves to thinking, speaking, and acting in quite a foolish manner. Instead, take a timeout. Breathe. As soon as you become aware of your anger, take some intentional steps to slow down and stay engaged with your spouse in a way that promotes the successful conflict resolution.
Leave Revenge to God
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, I will take revenge I will pay them back, says the Lord. Romans 12:19
Focus on the Positive
So encourage each other and build each other up just as you are already doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
You are Responsible for Your Own Behavior
Accept Each Others Faults
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How To Handle Conflict Biblically
Conflict is anything but comfortable. Daley reminds us how working through conflict in a God-honoring way can have huge benefits! Its so worth it!
If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17
Do you ever wish there was no such thing as conflict? You may be the type who runs and hides in a closet if theres a conflict or maybe you flourish in these types of situations. Wherever you fall on this spectrum, conflict is inevitable.
Weve all been in situations where our feelings have been hurt, we have been wronged, or been mistreated. No fun! And the hard truth of the matter is that we also have been on the other side of that equation. We have been the one hurting others and have wronged our neighbors.
When Jesus was here on earth He talked a lot about the Kingdom of God. In fact, that was His whole mission here on earth. He said that the Kingdom of God is at hand. His Kingdom is one of peace with the purpose to bring reconciliation between humanity back to a Holy and perfect God.
Connection To Unit Theme
While small groups are studying Pressure Points from the book of James, this sermon series is examining pressure points in the life of Jesus. As a human being, Jesus faced every pressure we face, and on a much deeper level. And since Jesus is the only perfect human being that has ever existed, we know that He never once caved in to pressure in any of the areas we are studying. How interesting that James was Jesus’ half-brother, which means He had a front-row seat to how Jesus dealt with pressure.
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What Does The Bible Say About Removing Obstacles
Joshua 1:9 Be strong and courageous do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Deuteronomy 31:6,8 Be strong and bold have no fear or dread of them, because it is the Lord your God who goes before you. He will be with you he will not fail you or forsake you.
Lesson 1: Resolving Conflicts Gods Way
A dour Englishman was seated on a train between two ladies arguing about the window. One claimed that she would die of heatstroke if it stayed closed. The other said she would expire of pneumonia if it was opened. The ladies called the conductor, who didnt know how to resolve the conflict. Finally, the gentleman spoke up. First, open the window. That will kill the one. Then close it. That will kill the other. Then we will have peace.
As I said last week, the world has many ways to resolve conflict, but invariably, they leave God out. God tells us that His ways are not our ways . His ways are much higher than our ways, and often run counter to our ways. If we want true and lasting peace in our relationships, then we need to resolve conflicts Gods way. His way for resolving conflicts is not to give us surface techniques that achieve outward peace. Rather, God goes for the heartprimarily our heart relationship with Him. When our ways please Him, then we have a foundation for resolving conflicts with others .
In James 4:1, he asks, What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? He goes on to show that the source is selfishness. In a section running through verse 12, he shows,
To resolve conflicts, repent of your sinful selfishness and humble yourself before God.
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What Does The Bible Say About Family Conflict Biblical Truths Revealed
What Does the Bible Say About Family Conflict?
Maybe youve been wondering, What does the Bible say about cutting people out of your life? and now youre looking up Bible verses about toxic family or Bible verses about toxic relationships in general.
Maybe you arent even sure if you are dealing with toxic family members or if your family is simply annoying.
Family conflict is almost as old as humanity. Sibling rivalry existed in the very first family and culminated with Cain killing his brother Abel . While other examples may not be that extreme, family conflict is a recurring theme in the Bible.
From Athaliah killing all her children and grandchildren so she could seize the throne to Jesus own mother and brothers becoming embarrassed by His preaching , examples of family conflict illustrate what happens when family members treat their flesh and blood as liabilities instead of blessings.
Some family conflicts are inevitable. In our world of sin, some will reject Christ while others accept Him as Lord, and this happens within families. Jesus, the Prince of Peace Himself, warned us of this type of family conflict: Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth.
Here are more Bible say about family:
Luke 12:49-53 ESV
Titus 3:3-7 ES
Luke 12:51-53 ESV
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