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What Does The Bible Say About Abstinence Before Marriage

Dr Lawson Stone Responds:

What Does the Bible Say About Sex Before Marriage? | Christian YouTuber

The students claim that in the Old Testament it appears that, rather than sex being confined to marriage, it leads to marriage involves a number of errors, misinterpretations, and blind spots resulting from not hearing the OT in its own setting and voice. The fact in the OT is that a marriage was seen as naturally being real when sexual intercourse took place because sexual intercourse is the actual physical and emotional uniting of the man and woman. This is the origin of the tradition in the Roman Catholic church that a wedding not followed by sexual intercourse, i.e. not consummated, is incomplete and may be annulled. But this proposition is not reversible, that one can have sex and consider oneself married! The union created by sexual intercourse is real, and happens regardless of ones legal state or even feelings of intimacy. This is why St. Paul warns that sex even with a prostitute still fuses the john to the prostitute as one flesh, and for a believer, implicates the Holy Spirit in an unholy union. The Bible sees sexual union as the vital core of marriage, but this in no way implies that no concern existed for making sure such a union was lawful, sanctioned and blessed by God.

Used by permission.

Dr. Jerry Walls, Ph.D., Notre Dame. Author, speaker, and professor of Philosophy.

Dr. Ben Witherington III, Ph.D., University of Durham in England. Author, speaker, and professor of New Testament and Biblical Studies.

Why Does Anyone Have Relationships

The God or Lord instituted a relationship with the truth of the heart. God created a relationship first in Eden Garden through Adam, who is the first male human. And he gradually bonded with Adam. They both walked into the Eden Garden having conversations. Adam got to know how Lord has loved him.

He started to comprehend his creators perspective. Then in the second Genesis, God created another relationship that a male human can share with a woman. Here comes the concept of marriage. It is the most significant relationship a human can experience after his relationship with God himself.

Is There Forgiveness After Sex Before Marriage

Will God forgive me if I have had sex before marriage?


Sorry and Afraid

Dear Sorry and Afraid,

Although I have much to say about this topic, let me first give you a straightforward answer to your question:

Will God forgive you if you have sex before marriage? The answer is YES!

Although the immediate answer is simple, let me also say a bit more. As you may know, Gods plan for a healthy sexual relationship is within marriage. His design is perfect. Sex is a demonstration of love, emotional connection, and commitment. In a pre-marital relationship, you may feel that you have all of these, but it is within marriage that these three qualities are fully established. This is why God wants us to wait until marriage.

Sex is a demonstration of love, emotional connection, and commitment. In a pre-marital relationship, you may feel that you have all of these, but it is within marriage that these three qualities are fully established.

Your question about Gods forgiveness demonstrates your concern about following his design for sexual intimacy. This is a good thing. God desires for our hearts to be oriented toward his will. Like a compass pointed firmly north, God wants our hearts directed toward, and firmly on, him. For those of us who have given our lives over to him, he offers his unending grace and forgiveness for all we have done or will do that is counter to his will. This includes having sex before marriage.

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Across History Cultures And Laws

The examples and perspective in this section may not represent a worldwide view of the subject. You may improve this section, discuss the issue on the talk page, or create a new section, as appropriate.

A survey undertaken by the American Sociological Review between 2000 and 2008 covering 31 developing countries found that “94 percent of Jews… reported having premarital sex, compared to 79 percent of Christians, 65 percent of Buddhists, 43 percent of Muslims and 19 percent of Hindus.”

What Does This Mean

What Does The Bible Say About Living Together Before Marriage?

The Bible promotes complete abstinence before marriage. Sex between a husband and his wife is the only form of sexual relations of which God approves. Christians can mess up and receive Gods full forgiveness. But there is a stark difference between messing up and continuing to do so with the mindset, I can always ask for forgiveness.

What matters is a fully repentant heart. Repentance isnt just an attitude of the heart it literally means to turn from the former life with a commitment to change for the better. We, as followers of Christ, must strive to live within the confines of his loving boundaries and celebrate the good gifts hes given us even if that means we have to wait until our wedding day.

Heather Riggleman is an award-winning journalist and a regular contributor for Crosswalk. She calls Nebraska home with her three kids and a husband of 22 years. She believes Jazzercise, Jesus, and tacos can fix anything and not necessarily in that order! She is author of I Call Him By Name Bible Study, the Bold Truths Prayer Journal, Mama Needs a Time Out, and a contributor to several books. You can find her at or on.

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Sexual Abstinence Before Marriage

Maintaining sexual abstinence before marriage and keeping intimacy in marriage teaches self-control. Being able to control ones actions and focus them is one of the keys to successful living. Controlling one’s sexual drive and focusing it on one’s spouse alone teaches control in every area of life. People with no or little self-control self-destruct. Unfortunately, they not only hurt themselves, but also much damage is done to many innocent lives.

Sexual abstinence before marriage is a part of a man showing how much he values his perspective wife. It is self-centred for him to expect her to give herself totally to him before he gives himself totally to her in the commitment of marriage. If the “price” of self-control he paid for her is not high, then he will tend to look on her with less value. Any woman who has a perspective marriage partner pressuring her or even hinting at sex before marriage should recognize that he is devaluing her and his “love” for her is based on what he can get, not what he can give.

Keeping intimacy within marriage creates the potential to provide a strong and stable home in which children can grow up. God loves children and knows they need a stable environment to feel secure and to mature. When they have confidence that Mom and Dad love and are committed to each other, then they can face the storms in their lives from a firm foundation. Immorality breaks this security and introduces fear and instability.

When Is It Okay To Abstain From Sex In Marriage

Talking about when its okay to abstain from sex within a marriage is a touchy subject, I know. But its one that I feel like really needs to be talked about a bit more. Because Ive had ladies approach me about this topic, in particular after reading my Proverbs 31 Woman devotional. And Id like to explore a bit what the Bible has to say about this topic so we can know for sure how best to handle these types of situations.

I mean, we all have those days where we are just plain exhausted. Or perhaps we are in pain due to a medical condition or after just having a new child. All of these are reasonable times when it seems like it might be okay to say no. But is it? Is it ever okay to deny your husband when he is asking for sex?

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What’s The Point Of Abstinence Anyway

Did you know that Paul advised couples to practice abstinence at certain times? That’s right! In an environment where consensual sex is fine, sometimes a married couple should abstain from sex. Why? If any verse can help us understand the point of abstinence, 1 Corinthians 7:5a will: “Do not deprive one another , except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer…” .

Abstinence helps us develop our spiritual health.

If we don’t allow sexual desires to rule our thoughts, we can better honor God as we focus on our relationship with Him . Paul goes on to explain the different concerns of the married vs. the unmarried:

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.”1 Corinthians 7:32-35

Our simple advice is this: Use caution in what you allow into your mind in the first place, and don’t dwell on sexual fantasies.

Bible Verses About Sex Before Marriage


then they shall bring out the girl to the doorway of her fathers house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death because she has committed an act of folly in Israel by playing the harlot in her fathers house thus you shall purge the evil from among you.

and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

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Take Responsibility For Your Sexual Purity

Repent of sexual failures. You will only flee sexual immorality when you get serious with God.

Develop friendships with people who value purity. Especially in the area of sexuality, evil company corrupts good habits . By contrast, those committed to sexual integrity can help you swim against the cultural stream.

Practice saying no. To an outrageously sexualized people, Paul said, I discipline my body and bring it into subjection . When by the Spirit we say no to our desires, they resist with vehemence. Rarely engaged will-power reacts like muscles at an annual visit to the weight room, but in time, no begins to win the war against lust .

Use Wisdom. Where do you tend to sin sexually? Approach those areas with sound wisdom, realistic planning, genuine accountability, and pointed prayer.

Pursue marriage. Marriage isnt a magic pill for loneliness and lust, but it is part of Gods prescribed regimen for practicing the beautifully human desire for deep sharing.

Three Lies About Premarital Sex

Is Scripture becoming outdated and archaic in light of today’s cultural views concerning premarital sex? Here are three important things to consider when making a decision about sex and marriage.

In This Series:

When Cindy met Rob, she knew that even though he attended church, he didnt share her convictions about premarital sex. Rob thought it was OK and even good for dating couples to engage in and Cindy believed it was wrong from a Christian perspective.

As their friendship progressed, Cindy and Robs opposing viewpoints caused some hot debates. It also forced them both to take a second look at their convictions. As a result, Cindy developed a deeper understanding of truth, and Rob was forced to face the lies hed always believed.

If youre like Cindy or Rob, and youve taken a stand for premarital sex, but youre not sure why, here are some things to consider.

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What Does The Bible Say About Premarital Kissing And Sex

Hardcore devotees of Christianity acted cold feet towards sexual acts before marriage. But there are many other ways of showing love affection, and the question is occurring here that will kiss be considered a sinful act without being married? Questions are many, but answers are few. There is no clear answer to this question because God has questioned us in the Bible that it depends on the true emotion one is holding by that time. This leads to confusion to many, as Christ himself gave kisses to several Christ adherents.

Now, one question is still going around in the mind of teenagers, is kissing considered sinful and what the Bible says about premarital kissing.

The answer is simple, and we need to take a close look at the Bibles note. You have to know if kissing is done with lustful intentions and what sexual desire it is leading to. If it is yes, then it is sinful. According to the Bible, such lustful kissing will be marked as Sinful. But this doesnt mean that every romantic couple is considered a sinner. Every affectionate touch is pure, and it should happen with the consent of each other. The Bible guides us with the fact that humans should have a clear and genuine affection filled heart by the time of kissing. Otherwise, this debatable question has no permanent solution.

Two Days Ago Daddy Freeze Shared His Thoughts About The Bibles Stance On Premarital Sex On His Instagram Page

What does the Bible say about sleeping together before ...

In light of this statement, we are digging into the Holy Book in order to see what it actually says.

Here are nine Bible verses on premarital sex.

1. 1 Thessalonians 4:35 says, For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality that each one of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honour, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.

2. Ephesians 5:3 says, But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

3. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

4. 1 Corinthians 7:2 says, because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

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5. 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, But if they cannot control themselves, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

6. Hebrews 13:4 says, Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

7. Acts 15:20 says, but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from the blood.

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Sex Is For Marriage And Marriage Is For Sex

God wants us to save sex for marriage not because its bad or dirty but because its unique, exclusive, and wonderful. Sex isnt just casual fun. And its not just a feel-good way of expressing mutual love. Its about two people becoming one flesh.

  • Jesus says, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? .
  • This fits with the apostle Pauls warning in 1 Corinthians 6:16: Do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, The two will become one flesh .
  • The same concept underlies the commandment against adultery . In the biblical view, adultery includes any sexual activity outside of marriage. This is why the Bible says, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous .

Sex is a holy mystery. Its a powerful bonding agent that shapes and affects the relationship between a man and a woman as nothing else can.

Thats why the Bible often compares idolatry to the sin of fornication or adultery .

And its why the Bible uses sexual purity and faithfulness between spouses as an image of our relationship with God .

So, what about Isaac and Rebekah, or Joseph and Mary?

Why Did God Commandsexual Abstinence Before Marriage

Anyone who has any understanding of the Bible knows that God has limited the sex relationship to one man and one woman within marriage. Why did He require sexual abstinence?

Our world seems to have gone sex-mad. Christians of every age are influenced to immorality. The temptation is strong. Many Christians know God has said “No” but they have no idea why He requires sexual abstinence before marriage. Of course, obedience doesn’t need reasons. The fact that God has said, “In marriage only” is enough however, reasons help us to defend our faith and show the wisdom of God.

As with all things, God is the center. God designed the marriage relationship, including the sexual relationship, as a picture of the tender care He has for the Church in general and Christians as individuals. It portrays the faithfulness, commitment, and single-mindedness of God to His people, i.e. Christians. It is also expresses the intense joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction that is to be found in God alone.

Immorality, then gives false testimony to the character of God. It pictures Him as a selfish Being using and abusing people for His own pleasure. It says God is unfaithful and not to be trusted. It is the teaching of false religions which proclaim that “all paths lead to God.” God does not flirt or go after others. There is only one way to God – Jesus Christ. Satan delights in immorality for it slanders Who God is.

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