Bad Friends Keep Bringing Up Old Matters
19. Proverbs 17:9 Whoever forgives an offense seeks love, but whoever keeps bringing up the issue separates the closest of friends.
20. Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves you all the time, but a brother was born to help in times of trouble.
21. Ephesians 5:16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
22. Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Psalm : 1 Esv / 18 Helpful Votes
A Song of Ascents. Of David. Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!
What Does The Bible Say About Cutting Ties With Family? When you grow up or become mature, it is important to graduate from being dependent to being independent. Also, when you marry, it is important to step away from depending on your parents for your livelihood and emotional support, and rather depend on each other. Is moving out of your childhood home a sign of disrespect, abandoning, or actually leaving your parents behind? As we unfold this piece of writing, well find answers to this pertinent question. However, God did not mince words when instructing a married couple to leave their parents. Genesis 2:24 clearly states that a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife. The Hebrew word used in this verse means to forsake dependence upon, leave behind, release, and let go.
Bad Company Corrupts Good Morals
A good friend should draw you near Jesus. We are warned that bad company corrupts good morals and in this, I think God was giving us permission to end a friendship. Today’s culture tells us to leave any relationship that isn’t serving us, and that isn’t what this means. Just because you’re frustrated or disappointed with a friend doesn’t mean it’s time to walk away.
Some friendships will be refined by seasons of wrestling and difficulty.
But, if a friend is consistently showing up to gossip, tear you down, or influencing you in a way that negatively impacts your walk with Jesus, it might be time to create some distance.
Even someone with the very best character will be impacted by the company they keep.
One of my favorite quotes is to
“surround yourself with people who you want to become.”
Use this to evaluate your relationships by considering if the people you’re around are people who you want to be influenced by.
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What To Do When You Cant Cut A Toxic Person Out Of Your Life
Sometimes we dont have the choice of cutting toxic people out of our lives. Perhaps they are family, or a boss or co-worker. Maybe you dont want to cut the person off completely. Maybe your ex-spouse is still a part of your childs life. For those of you who dont have a choice, or dont want to completely cut off this person, below are some steps to take.
How Should Christians View Soul Ties
Christians can forge a myriad of relationships with a friend, family, special someone, and even with strangers. These relationships can vary in intensity and they can be fleeting or last a lifetime. As Christians, however, our idea of a soul tie should revolve around the author of relationships, the maker or breaker of ties Jesus Christ.
The ultimate soul tie we, Christians, shall aim for should be that with Christ for we are His and He is ours. Neither a person nor material wealth should come before God in our relationship ladder. If there currently is, break free right away before it corrupts you.
From a Christian point of view, soul ties should be anchored in God and promote the teachings of God. We can be defined by the kind of ties we have with others. Is it healthy? Toxic? Does it make you sin? It is crucial then that Christians know to distinguish between ties with others that should be kept and those that need to be cut.
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People You Need To Cut Off Ties With
While we are commanded by God to love one another, we are also warned to cut off things that cause us to stumble and sin. Some of these things that we need to cut off if needed are wrong relationships.
Cutting Ties With People
There’s nothing wrong with cutting off ties with the wrong people in our lives. Parting ways with them will actually free us to give more space for that which really matters: relationships with the people that help us in our walk with God.
The Lord Jesus spoke strongly about parting ways with what causes you to sin. In Matthew alone, He spoke about it twice. For the sake of brevity, let’s just consider one:
“Therefore if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life lame or maimed than having two hands or two feet to be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than having two eyes to be thrown into the fire of hell.”
Prior to this passage, Jesus was talking about anything that causes one to sin. By this we know that He is serious in telling us to let go of and part ways with things that cause us to do things that offend God, things that drive a wedge between our relationship with our Father, and hinder our walk with Christ.
Ties To Cut
1. A Person Who Leads You Into Sin
2. A Person Who Damages Your Relationship With God
3. A Person Who Damages Your Relationship With Your Spouse Or Family
Good Friends: Biblical Characteristics
You can use these traits to build your existing relationships or guide you into new ones. Here are fifteen biblical qualities of a good friend to help you in your relationships.
How Often People Cut Ties
Cutting ties with family members is more common than you might think. Its just not often talked about. For some people, it might be embarrassing. Others fear sounding cruel. And many simply prefer to keep family issues private.
A 2015 U.S. study found that more than 40% of individuals have experienced family estrangement at one point in their lives. A U.K. study found that it affects at least one in five British families.
And while estrangement often encompasses extended family, its fairly common in immediate families as well. Another U.S. study found that 10% of mothers are currently estranged from at least one adult child.
They Are A Negative Influence
Bad friends are terrible in all aspects.
Despite not helping you, they are likely to lead you astray.
They will definitely influence you to do the wrong things.
Some of which are against Gods commands and that of your parents.
You may find yourself fornicating, drinking excessively or taking drugs.
These are actions of sinners, and those are not the kind of Friends you need around as Christians.
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Signs Of Toxic Behavior
The person who upsets you with their negative thoughts and changes the atmosphere of the room when they walk in.
- They are those you trust but who take advantage of you to get ahead.
- They are hateful people, hating themselves and everyone around them.
- They are only there for you through the bad times to get you fired up, but are never there when things are going good in your life.
- They might try to take revenge on you and want to hurt you.
- They might encourage you to be unfaithful to your spouse or corrupt other morals and laws you hold to. They usually think only of themselves and their own happiness.
How To Know When It’s Time To Break Up With A Friend
Some friendships are the type that start on the playground or before we can even remember and last through graduations, moves, . These are the friends who may or may not be in our everyday lives, but we know theyll always be there when we need them and theyll always care.
Most friendships, however, arent that type, says Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, Professor and Chair of the Department of Counseling at Northern Illinois University and author of the books, “Toxic Friendships: Knowing the Rules and Dealing with the Friends who Break Them.”
We change and our friends change over time as do circumstances and new social goals, Degges-White tells NBC News BETTER.
That means some friendships morph over time and some friendships just fizzle out and end.
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Is Their Toxic Behavior Changing Yours
I had a girlfriend in my life, who every time I spoke to her, would complain about her husband or some other part of her life. She would tell me the latest story of her promiscuity and unfaithfulness. She was envious and greedy and never seemed to support the positive blessings I was experiencing.
I would listen to her and then offer advice, often quoting Scripture and Biblical truth. I tried to ignore the lies and negativity she would project onto me. Until I realized that her thought pattern began to affect mine. Her drama and negativity were bringing me down and starting to compromise my morals and values. Of course, I am the one ultimately in control of my own thoughts. But over time, this friend began planting seeds of doubt in my life and made me question and second guess myself.
Bible Verses About Bad Friends
Bible verses related to Bad Friends from the King James Version by Relevance
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Judas: A Toxic Bible Character
When you think of Jesus and some of the toxic people he dealt with, Judas is the first person that comes to mind. Judas was a disciple as he chosen as one of the twelve. He was a friend and companion over the three years of Jesus ministry. Judas had been stealing for the three years, robbing the money that was there to support Jesus and the disciples and to feed the poor. He was lying and deceitful, and then betrayed Jesus as he was the one that sold Jesus out for 30 pieces of silver which was the cost of a slave. He was a betrayer. The Webster definition of a Judas is one who betrays you while pretending to be your friend. He was toxic.
During the Passover meal, Jesus shares this meal with Judas. He shares the same bowl and bread with the one who is in the midst of betraying him.
Jesus also does something even more humbling than that. He washes Judas feet. Jesus KNEW Judas was going to betray him. Jesus knew the anguish that was coming. The beatings, the scourging, the agonizing walk on the stone street, the humiliation, the ultimate torture, the cross itself. Yet, even in this moment, Jesus humbled Himself and washed Judass feet. Jesus ate with him, loved him, and served him despite how toxic Judas was.
Whats The Right Time For A Friend Breakup
If a friendship does start to feel one-sided that youre the one constantly reaching out its a definite sign that something may be up and that relationship may not be as healthy as it could be. Ask yourself: Are you better off with them or without them?, Degges-White says.
Here are a few cues it may be time to invest a little less:
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Bible Verses About Cutting
But the wicked will be cut off from the landAnd the treacherous will be uprooted from it.
The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom,But the perverted tongue will be cut out.
And all the horns of the wicked He will cut off,But the horns of the righteous will be lifted up.
Surely there is a future,And your hope will not be cut off.
Let his posterity be cut off In a following generation let their name be blotted out.
For the customs of the peoples are delusion Because it is wood cut from the forest,The work of the hands of a craftsman with a cutting tool.
For they will wither quickly like the grassAnd fade like the green herb.
For there is hope for a tree,When it is cut down, that it will sprout again,And its shoots will not fail.
For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
They Always Want To Talk About Themselves
We all have issues.
And thats the essence of friendship.
We need someone to talk to.
If you have friends that are unwilling to hear your problems, those are selfish friends.
Bad friends are self-centered.
They care more about your opinion on their issues and are likely not interested in discussing your problems.
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How To Cut Someone Off The Christian Way
Anonymous asked a question:
I want to cut my brother out of my life because its hurting my faith & self-esteem. i wanted to know your opinion on taking bad influences like him out of your life am i a bad person for even wanting this? how should i get past this whole ordeal?
Dear friend, first please know that cutting people out of your life is absolutely acceptable as a last resort. I say this with hesitation, since were all so quick to find reasons to give up on others , but theres no rational reason to stay in a place of abuse and endangerment. We must discern the difference between finding someone unpleasant and running from someone tyrannically cruel. If the person were talking about is mercilessly manipulative or physically abusive, then much of what Im about to say must be cautiously applied, or even withheld. And forgiveness doesnt have to mean friendship.
When it comes to family, the dynamics make it brutally difficult to exercise boundaries. Family is tangled with history and an almost helpless weight of loyalty. If conflicts with friends are firecrackers, then family is like defusing an atomic bomb.
Please allow some grace as I try to give unbiased advice both to you and myself.
1) Keep distance, but leave the door open as wide as possible.
2) Have the awkward, uncomfortable, straight-up talk.
3) Bad influences are bad. God is badder.
4) In the end, this is not about you and him, but you and Him.
Should I Cut Off My Toxic Friend
Lately Ive seen a lot of talk about what to do about toxicity in and around our lives, especially amongst the younger generations. Social media, non-believing friends, and even Christian peers have adopted new terminology/principles for dealing with relational conflict or disagreements in our lives. We often hear about people cutting off a toxic friend or getting rid of negative voices in their lives. But what does that mean? And is this mentality Biblical?
I think this mentality has evolved from a good place. Originally, toxic was used to describe people with narcissistic, manipulative tendencies. And this sparked a discussion about how to identify and deal with people who could otherwise be described as wolves in sheeps clothing . But I think this conversation was quickly morphed into a method to reject or hold bitterness towards well-meaning, Christ-following friends.
*Something to keep in mind: in this blog, I am addressing friendships between brothers and sisters in Christ. We should approach our friendships with non-believers in a different way, especially if they are leading us towards sin.
So lets take a moment to break down some common terms.
Now we ask this: are there any parts of this process that line up with scripture? Lets take a look
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